Episode 85: Pivoting in Business with Ashley Vincent

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Transcript

Ashley: That's why sales were stopping when I was coaching because I needed that money to survive. And clearly, that energy is felt on the receiving end. So it's just like, Uhuh, this ain't gonna work out for you. So if I was to keep pushing from that place of need, it would just keep repelling the people and that's no way to go.

It's like we gotta get creative sometimes. Maybe we've gotta try something different to get different results.

Emily: Absolutely, and again, I would just say like, study the stories of your favorite mentors. In every scenario you'll find either working a job while building the business, or a partner who was footing all of the bills while the business was built or one business.

That floated things while the other business was getting built like we all need. Runway and runway is such a gift.

Hi, welcome to the show and thank you so much for being here. I wanted to share an incredible free resource with you. That's been a money game changer for more than a thousand. And a few men too. My money wounds quiz will quickly diagnose your top money wounds and then you'll get access to a free masterclass on how to heal them. I get comments all the time sharing how life-changing this resource is, and no one can believe it's free. Just go to moneywounds quiz.com to get started.

Hello, welcome back to the Em Makes Money Show. You guys, I've had such a fun morning. Is a school holiday here in a bank holiday as. But Jj's preschool put together a little event where we got to buy products for like hygiene kits for the homeless and products to put into soldier stockings that are gonna be sent out, deployed members of the military.

And I think also to some veterans who are at like VA hospitals and that kind of thing. and so we went and were able to like have breakfast as a group and do a little volunteer activity. The kids got involved, they were making cards for the soldiers. It was just like a really cute way to start the morning.

And then I went to Pilates and then I did incredible interview that I could not wait to share with you with one of my business besties, Ashley Vincent. Ashley is someone that has been a really fun friendship in my life, and she's an incredible entrepreneur as well. She's got so many lessons that she can share in this episode.

You're gonna absolutely love it and you're gonna wanna watch till the very end, and you're probably then gonna wanna buy her products. I would not be surprised if that is the case. Yeah, this is gonna be a fun holiday weekend. We've got phase last soccer game tomorrow. We're doing the soccer end of season pool party, which reminds me that we need to start heating the pool ASAP. And what else? What else, what else? Oh yeah, so then friends and I are taking our kids up to the Hollywood Bowl tomorrow night to see Encanto Live. So that Disney movie where I guess they'll be doing a live performance of it. So the orchestra will do all of the music and I don't know if there's gonna be like live singing or what, but I will keep you posted.

And today has been a really fun sales day as well. Yesterday I released 2023 retreat details to my wait list, and I already have three signups for 2023 retreats, which feels incredible. So I think these are gonna sell out pretty quickly. They actually could even sell out today cause I'm releasing the details to the wider audience.

But that said, if you have been wanting to go on a retreat with me, I've got some incredible retreats lined up for 2023. You can go to emily wilcox.com/retreats to see the details. Alright. Without further ado, let me tell you about today's episode. So my good friend Ashley Vincent, also known as the Earthy Tinkerbell, she is a three five emotional manifestor in human design with a big personality.

Pisces Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising. She's shoots sunbeams out her eyeballs on the regular, and her wish is that her light activates your. She is the c e O of the cosmically conscious business. Ashley's Light that offers magnetic gift boxes, signature eco-luxe creations and statement crystals, and you'll probably find her frolicking and sparkly gardens, fors and beaches, sipping mystical magical beverages and blinding you with her light.

I would say as a friend of hers, that is 100%. And you are gonna love how deep we go in today's interview. So let's get right to it. Ashley, welcome to this show. I'm so happy you're

Ashley: here. I'm so happy to be here.

Emily: This feels so fun because. , you and I met through like an online coaching program.

Ashley: Was that probably two years ago?

Almost. Almost two years ago. I think January will be,

Emily: Because it was January.

Yeah. And the coach like had an intro thread for people to say like who they are, where they live and everything. And you and I noticed that we lived close. And we set a little coffee date to get together and then it's just been like a beautiful blossoming of a friendship ever since.

Ashley: I love it. It feels like a lifetime ago, but it really wasn't.

Emily: Totally. But I think it's like fun to mention because one thing I hear a lot from my clients is that they feel. Supported and like they have these incredible relationships and friendships like in our mastermind or in some of these online spaces, but they feel like they don't have it in real life.

And I'm always like, that's a limiting belief. Like your people are there wherever you are. I don't care how rural it is, I don't care what the politics are in the area, like your people are there.

Ashley: And you can find them. It just might take a bit of initiative on your end and like stepping outside your comfort zone.

Emily: Yes, totally. And so now we hang out, our partners hang out. My kids know you. 

Ashley: The best family.

Emily: I'm a client of yours. I love it.

Ashley: So awesome.

Emily: So I want to of course, dig into all the things that you're doing now because Ashley's creating incredible gift boxes and all of these beautiful, earth-friendly products.

But I think before we get there, it might be fun to just sort of. Go on the journey because when we met two years ago, you were all in on being a coach and at that time I don't think you did have any physical products. And so maybe just like start there and kind of walk us through your journey.

Ashley: Yeah, I can summarize it pretty well these days.

I was under the mentorship of someone who was a speaker, an author, a serial entrepreneur, and she taught me a method, and I was looking to also be a speaker, an author, a serial entrepreneur. Yet I didn't have the business side of things, so, . I looked to the online space and the online space told me that I needed to be an online coach.

So I was like, okay, this is what I need to start with. I have this method, I'm gonna teach it online, and I'm gonna be a coach. Not at all connecting with what it was that I actually wanted. It was like, oh, this is who the world told me. Mm-hmm. , I need to be, so this is who I'm going to. . So I started coaching first with life coaching because the person whose mentorship I was under did more emotional intelligence work, human potential.

So that's where I started, was in life coaching. And then I really had a blast on Instagram and my followers were noticing, and they were also noticing that I was selling on Instagram and selling pretty well. So they asked me, how are you doing this? Like, can you show us how you're doing? and at the time, operating like a conditioned generator, not a manifestor, which I really am.

I was like,  let me show you what to do on Instagram instead of just owning that. Yeah, I was slaying on Instagram and that's that. I was like let me teach you how to build your business on social media. So, I shifted to being a business coach, primarily focused on social media coaching, and it was fun.

I was getting clients a little while after I had started that. I did have this yearning to come out with a physical product.  I don't even know if you knew this, but I did come out with a physical product in May 2020, so while I was still coaching, it was a personalized candle. I only had one option.

and I didn't put too much emphasis there, but I knew that I wanted a physical reminder that people could have in their homes to remind them of their light because in session, I'm very activating. I'm very inspired.  I get you to leave there wanting to take action and wanting to change your life.

However, what happens when I'm not? So I was like, why not create a physical representation of your light to remind you that that is there at all times? So I had this personalized candle. I was still coaching and things just didn't feel so aligned, and I was not in tune with that for a while until sales were just stopping.

Like it literally, sales stopped in my coaching business, basically entirely to the point of where I was like, something is up. And I had these shelves in my room, like these tiny shelves, which we bought as a nightstand and they were terrible. So I used them as shelves from my crystals that I had purchased months ago with the intention of selling.

And I did nothing. I was too scared like I was. Nah, products don't mean anything. Products aren't a big deal. I'm too nervous. Like what I'm doing is coaching. Like I don't sell products, like I can't go there. Until the coaching income literally stopped and the crystals were glimmering from the corner. I was like, okay, let's just go here.

Let's just try. And I had desired to create a crystal candle, so that was the first step I took. I launched, I think there was six crystal candles. They like sold out. I came out with them and they sold out almost instantly via social media and I was like, okay, thank you. Universe Coaching is literally at a standstill.

Products are selling out. I'm gonna go with this like, and I felt so free. Like I felt liberated. I felt free, I felt fulfilled. I felt grounded because my gosh, talk about having your hands on crystals and packing boxes and doing tangible things for the most of the day. It was such a liberating feeling that I was like, this is where I wanna go.

Deep down, I knew I didn't wanna be a coach. I still wanna be a speaker. I still am a speaker. I'll go on podcasts. I'm gonna start my own soon. I'll speak on stages. I'll write a book, but, or books. I don't wanna be a coach. It was just so. Clear, but I had to allow myself to actually go there and to listen to that and to move forward from a place of full trust that I'm going to focus on products and that's gonna work out for me exactly as it's meant to.

Emily: Yeah. And when you were in the thick of coaching, I know you were in quite a few like certification programs, like you did stuff with human design, I feel like maybe there was one or two other things as well, and then obviously just in programs, right? To learn how to grow your business or tap into more feminine energy and all of that kind of stuff.

In hindsight, do you feel like you could have skipped any steps or was that all just a necessary part of the path?

Ashley: I do believe I could have skipped steps. Yes. And I'm a third line in human design for anyone who knows, it's trial and error, and that's like my conscious line. I'm a three-five, so I am meant to go through the trials and tribulations to fall down to probably take the steps that I don't need to take just so I can fall down and get back up and have that life experience.

There were many steps that I think were unnecessary, especially the highly energetic programs that I took, like I'm a master of energetics, like I got that. I think I was alert to those kind of energetic programs from the not self, from a place of seeking, from a place of not feeling good enough, feeling unworthy.

So I took those kind of programs. I don't believe I gained that much from those. What I truly needed, and I did take some of these programs, was more strategy, was more operations, was more focused on the masculine side of things, which is definitely where I struggle. So, Those would have been the programs that I would have focused on if I did things differently.

Not so much the energetics and like leaning into the feminine energy, cuz that felt cozy and good and like it wasn't stretching me at all. Mm-hmm. , it was really just like, ah, yes, this is where I like to live. But again, where I am now, I look back and I'm like, it all had to happen to lead me to where I am today.

Emily: I get that. That's my sense of things too, like the little detours on the path are sort of a necessary part of the experience. Some entrepreneurs seem to like have a straight line to success, but I feel like for most of us it's the becoming and without taking some of the detours, you wouldn't have gotten the clarity on what actually felt aligned.

Ashley: Yeah, exactly. And I just ent trust that as hard as it was at the time, and as low as I felt, as bad as I felt, I just had to trust that. This was all to teach me something, even if I didn't see it in that moment.

Emily: Yeah. And I just wanna give additional context to our listeners, like, because I know you so well and know your story. Like when Ashley says that like she was selling coaching and it just wasn't working, like people weren't buying it. She was actually showing up and selling. She had really beautiful offers that she was clear on who they were for and what they were going to deliver, and she was showing the F up in selling them.

So don't use her story as an excuse of like, oh, well, if things aren't selling, I must just need to pivot. Just be honest with yourself. Are you actually showing up in selling? If you are, and if you feel like I'm so clear on what my offer is, I'm so clear on who it's for. I'm showing up, I'm selling, I'm going through the finish line and it's not working. Then that's the time to kind of reevaluate and look at things and see if there's something that's funky.

Ashley: It's like I have a work ethic like none other. I was stumbling to the bottom of the dark holes and you would see me crawling back up, showing up. Like no matter what I was going through, I was showing up and I was like, I am committed to this.

Like never once was I just laying back, sitting on the couch being like, yeah, it's all gonna happen. No, I was putting in the work, I was expanding myself in so many ways and. , it just wasn't happening for me. And there was that inner voice that was speaking. So it's like you've gotta do the work and there might be an inner voice speaking to you or maybe not, but you've still gotta show up.

Emily: Totally. So while we're in this kind of chapter of your journey, I'm curious if you feel like the coaching industry was predatory or you had to go through your own processing of some of what you went through in terms of like being over extended in a lot of programs. And I'm just curious like how you feel about that now and if you feel like you have any words of wisdom.

Ashley: I think you always need to tap into your own energy because I definitely feel that I was drawn into the alert and I do think there are predatory tactics used. Whether the person knows it or not, I am not blaming. I will never blame because. The old saying it takes two to tango. I do feel some people use tactics to really pull you in.

I mean, that is marketing after hall, like you do manipulate to a certain extent and you get people emotionally involved and I feel that there are some who are using it. In a predatory manner, again, whether they know it or not, but you have to take responsibility, tap back into your own energy, disconnect from the fomo, disconnect from that feeling of like need.

Gotta have it right now. Buy, buy, buy. And just give yourself a moment. I don't carry your human design. I don't carry your authority. Take a moment, take a breath to be like, okay, I'm pulling myself out of that and tapping into me. What does my sacral say? What are my emotions feeling right now that I might need to ride?  Where am I feeling the resonance or dissonance with this in my body? and then make a decision from that place.

Emily: Whenever I find myself feeling like, oh, this is the thing, this is gonna be like the it factor, like the thing I've been missing when I actually check in with myself, it's always my damsel in distress.

It's always like my wounded feminine who's like, oh, I'm laying on the train tracks, and this is the white knight who's like showing up to save the day.

Ashley: Exactly. That's it. Yeah. It's like how often, and let's admit that. Like let's admit the times that we do that I did, that we need to own when we're in that seeking place, we need to own, when we're coming from that place of, oh my gosh, you have exactly what I need.

You have what I'm missing. You have what I don't have. It's like, , are we actually missing that? Do we actually not have that? Or can we take a moment to find that within and then switch to a more empowered purchasing position where it's like, I have this, I have everything I need and you're going to help me amplify it, and you're gonna help me deepen into that, or expand or stretch in these ways. And I would like to do this with you more than doing it.

Emily: Yes. I love that shift because anytime we think that like the fix or the thing that's going to like launch our business to the stratosphere is outside of ourselves. , we're buying a lesson, okay, every single time. And it sucks to buy the lessons, even though I know we've all done it.

Ashley: I bought so many of them that it's like, now I have to come from that empowered place before I purchase. But guess what those situations taught me that had I not have had them, or to the severity at which I had them, I would probably still be purchasing from that place. I'm like, help me. Yeah. And now it's entirely different.

Emily: Well, I feel you've done such a great job of really like sharing authentically along the journey. And a lot of times when people feel overextended with their investments, they wanna hide that. It feels too shameful, and I just applaud you for being willing to say like, "Hey, I got in over my head and I'm taking responsibility for that and I'm getting a part-time job." Is that the worst thing in the world? No, it's not. It's bringing me safety while I get back to what I really wanna be doing and building from there.

Ashley: And I can't tell you how many people messaged me when I told everyone I was getting a job, like, wow, thank you. I have a job too. And I'm just like, "okay, why are we not talking about this?" Like, I didn't know that you had a job or you had a job. Or you had a job. All these people just came out of the woodwork about how they're like secretly working a job. and I'm like, what is so terrible about working a job so that you can propel yourself forward in your business? I don't wanna be in fight or flight anymore. I don't wanna be in a state of needing sales in my business to pay my bills. It feels amazing to have a paycheck that pays for my. So that I can build my business from an empowered place so that I can sell and have the most freaking fun ever because I just wanna sell it and trust that it's gonna build from that place.

Emily: Yeah. And by the way, everyone does a version of this, so I don't know where we got it twisted to act like this was some sort of failure. Yeah. I worked full-time for three years while being ridiculously committed to building our e-commerce business. On the side, like at night and on the weekend. There was no other, I mean, maybe there was another way, but that was the way that felt safest and most stable.

And it was like, I had a baby. We needed health insurance, we needed vehicles. Like I wasn't in a position to just be like, oh sure, let me just figure it out as I go. It was like, no, we need. And then it's like such a gift because there's not like two tons of pressure on your business to make money by tomorrow

Ashley: and I'm sure I got to that place. That's why sales were stopping when I was coaching because I needed that money to survive. And clearly, that energy is felt on the receiving end. So it's just like Uhuh, this ain't gonna work out for you. So if I was to keep pushing from that place of need, it would just keep repelling the people and that's no way to go. It's like we gotta get creative sometimes. Maybe we've gotta try something different to get different results.

Emily: Absolutely. And again, I would just say like, study the stories of your favorite mentors in every scenario you'll find.. Either working a job while building the business, or a partner who was footing all of the bills while the business was built, or one business that floated things while the other business was getting built like we all need Runway and runway is such a gift because it's really hard to be creative and playing in the land of possibility and believing in magic and miracles when it's like, okay, is there gonna food tomorrow and rent money tomorrow and money for the bills that are piling up. Like that's not the vibe.

Ashley: Exactly. And I love how you talk about that and we've talked about that before. Like can we just admit that sometimes we do wanna feel safe and Yeah, that's okay. Like to feel that comfort that having say a consistent paycheck does for us. There's a time when. Sure you can let it go, and there's a time when just filling that comfort for a little while can actually be the catalyst to propel you forward.

Emily: So you designed the candles, they all sold out right away. . What happened after that?

Ashley: Then I just was like, okay, I can choose to listen to this lesson of what's just happened and go full force into products, or I can keep struggling and riding the struggle bus and forcing and resisting. And it was pretty obvious at that moment that I was gonna go full fledged into products. I started writing down all of my ideas, or even on the whiteboard behind me, some of them still, because products take time to create. Yeah. And I just let myself run wild because I love playing in the land of possibility.

It was like, Ooh, I could create that. I could create that. And I slowly made a plan for what I could come out with next, and next, and next. So since that first launch of the Crystal Candles, I haven't come out with that many more products because, It takes time. But I went full in on product creation and selling products.

Emily: Amazing. And I have been the recipient of many of those. My clients have been the recipients, so I can't recommend enough Ashley's products. They are just gorgeous. The scents are amazing. Like everything about them is so curated. It really feels. A very luxurious gift like I've gone to. Some of my girlfriends and I do a favorite things gift exchange.

Every year we all make cookies, Christmas cookies, we exchange them, and then we do a gift exchange where everyone brings like one of their favorite things. That's like a $50 value. And last year I brought one of Ashley's candles. It's like there is something different about having like this gorgeous, like $50 candle.

That's the one that I brought said I am love and it had this like gorgeous rose scent with like rose quartz in it. And so why don't you tell us a little bit more about. , like what your creative process looks like with your products?

Ashley: Yeah. I mean, as a manifestor, I'm such a visionary and I could get lost in ideas all day long, so I really come from this deep place of intention first. Because I have such a spiritual background and I did start more from the life coaching perspective, it's like, how can I create products, physical products for you to have in your space to remind you of the inner work to remind you? of the daily habits, the daily rituals that are going to serve you. It's not just like, here's this thing that just lays on your desk, or you put in your closet and it's just a lifeless kind of item.

It's so activating, it's so potent. It's so infused with inspiration to assist you on your journey. So just as you would have coaching, mentorship, guidance, whatever it is. Kind of the energetic perspective. I wanna bring you the tangible components so that you can take a full moon bath to release, to let go, to kind of soak into that feeling of everything just oozing out of you and having space to receive so that you can have the I Am Love candle.

As you're feeling some heartache, as you're feeling unworthy, as you're feeling like you don't know if you can do this, so these tangible products assist you along that journey. They're that physical representation and the reminder of the inspiration, and so they originate from that place of like, how can I serve you and assist you on that journey?

Then from there, it's just so fun because it. How many beautiful things can I create and what's like the next one that can serve you that could compliment what's already there? So I started with the candles, and then of course I had the crystals as well, but I wanted more ritual based items. So then I came out with.

The bath salts and an essential oil blend. I have three more products coming super soon. Those haven't been released, but again, adding onto the rituals, so it's very ritual focused and I always want to add on a layer that can just deepen you into those practices that are gonna serve you at mind, body, and a soul type level.

Emily: I love that so much. And would you say, are most of your clients coaches?

Ashley: Yeah, I'm definitely targeting coaches at this point because I did expand to help coaches launch their own product business or come out with their own branded products. So I have so many coaches in my world from my coaching days that I was like realizing that they had this desire to have these products and they were sending gifts. I was like, okay, what could I do with now all the wisdom and knowledge that I have to assist these coaches? So definitely like my number one clients are coaches.

Emily: Yeah, I love that. And I wanted just like bring attention to that because nothing is ever lost. And I think even when we make investments that in hindsight we're like, Ugh, I paid for a lesson. There's usually still a silver lining. And I had kind of a similar situation where we spent a lot of money inside of what I would call these like bro masterminds and it's. At the end of it, a lot of the tactics did damage in our business. Frankly, it was like a lot of time spent building something to find out that it ultimately didn't work and it was easy to feel like frustrated and a little bit like manipulated by all of it.

And yet when I look at the people that I met through that, some of them have become. My best and dearest clients, and some of them probably will be future clients, some of them have been collaborators. One I like really picked her brain on how to start a podcast, and that was like super helpful for me.

And so it's like been this amazing silver lining where I'm like, okay, well if I had an undo button, would I use. And I'm like, no. Even though I still get grumpy every once in a while about like, about those misadventures, I'm like, would I actually take it back? No, I wouldn't like that, I would still pay the money all over again, buy all the lessons and go through the experiences and like have these people on the other side of it. And I sort of see like a similar thing with your business where it's like you thought you were putting yourself into these coaching spaces to like build yourself as a coach and that all went totally sideway. , but then all of those same people have become your best customers.

Ashley: Literally my best customers, yes. My best customers have come from some of these spaces. And can I tell you how freaking cool it is now to like go in a mastermind? So to anyone considering a mastermind, especially Emily's like get in it cuz they're the most incredible. Spaces, and I love it because most of the people in the masterminds that I've been in don't have product-based businesses, so I end up getting customers from the Mastermind, like, it's so cool. How this has all transpired to have this plethora of contacts on my Facebook in particular from all these groups who. are either buying my products, have bought my products, or interested in buying my products. It's like I paid, it's like doing ads almost like I paid this money to be in those spaces and then out of it I got customers.

So if you break it down for the money I spent divided by the number of customers, I mean, it's maybe about the same You would pay for Facebook ads, right? Totally, yeah. It turns out, actually, it was pretty great.

Emily: Okay. So what's your big vision for your business now?

Ashley: I'm so clear on that right now I am going to have a whole facility where I am assisting coaches develop their brand and coming out with products for them specific to their brand.  I see a whole team that I have who we're gonna do everything like we're gonna have from the marketing. To the conceptualization of the product, to the shipping, to the selling, like I wanna do it all almost like an agency. For now, I'm just handling the product creation and shipping for coaches.

However, I see it being a full-blown operation where I'm gonna help soulful entrepreneurs have these products as an extension of their brand as an elevation to their brand.

Emily: I will be there in line taking advantage of those services as well. So I love your vision. I will be there in line. I wanna talk a little bit about money and money wounds since we are on the Em Makes money show.

What money wounds do you feel like have come up for you on your journey and what ones have you like been working on healing or maybe feel like you're in a healed place with them?

Ashley: I'd say the biggest, which if I'm being honest as I always am, still comes up, is when someone has more money, they're on a pedestal.

When someone has more money, they are above me. So by more money, I mean more money than me. So if they make more money than me, if their business is more successful than me. Then they are a step above me. Mm-hmm. , this was a deep wound that I carried for a very long time. It was very prevalent last year.

I'm healing it. It's healing, and it definitely still comes up. I will notice, especially when I'm talking to those entrepreneurs who are making millions of dollars about assisting them in terms of developing a product, I do have moments where I. I take like a big breath and I'm almost kind of nervous, but then I'm like, wait, wait.

You're doing this? So I'm so aware of it now. Whereas before it was like almost this looking up to, well, I'm not at the same level as you. And I remember saying that to previous mentors and I wasn't aware of it at all until they reflected it back to me and I was like, whoa, there's something I need to work at here.

Where they would say like, I'm not above you, Ashley. Like we are the same and I kid you not. I used to respond like, but we're not the same. And they'd. , but we are the same. It was so crazy to think back that I couldn't see that. Now I see it. It's like, oh, we are the same. But of course, until you fully healed and released something, it can still pop up at time.

So I still notice it now, whereas I don't go so far as to be like, oh, well they're up here and I'm down here. , but I like notice my breathing, get quick or mm-hmm. , I kind of lose my breath and I'm like, ah, I feel where I'm going in this moment, and I'm gonna redirect myself. I'm gonna journal, I'm gonna speak this thought out loud.

I'm gonna like give it the attention that it needs to not just stifle it down and understand that it's still kind of present there.

Emily: But yeah, that's a huge one. I'm so glad that you brought it forward because it's one that I actually hear a lot from. Peers and people in the industry and really at every income level as well, where it's like, oh, I feel really comfortable coaching people who are lower than me in income, but as soon as they're higher than me in income, I don't feel like I can coach them even though I'm not coaching them in business.

I just heard that the other day. So it's like we do get it twisted. Yeah. And. I love that you're bringing it forward and it sounds like you've been able to like use breathwork and journaling to sort of like help walk yourself through it.

Ashley: Oh yeah. It's like that. It needs this space. Like instead of denying it, it's like let's breathe through this comfort.

Let's write out actually how I'm feeling and then. Reaffirm a new thought and a new story that I actually want to be true because I don't want that to be the truth. I want the truth to be that we are equal. The truth to be that I do have something so valuable to offer you no matter where you're at financially.

Emily: Yeah. Is there anything else in your relationship with money that has come up for healing in your entrepreneurship journey?

Ashley: Definitely the working hard, the hustling, the working, like I've been a hard worker since I was 14. I grew up in a middle class home. We got, by however, we didn't have a lot of money, so I got a job when I was 14 at a restaurant.

I think at one point I had two jobs. Even like in high school I had two jobs, because for whatever reason I just wanted more money and it was this like constant working hard all the time, all the hours to make money. So of course starting a business, it's then like, oh my gosh, I need to work all day and all night.

It got even worse starting a business. You are your own boss. You tell yourself when your workday is done, and if you don't have those boundaries as to when your workday is done or when you wanna call it quits, and just take some time for yourself. You can end up going and going and going. And not stopping, which is what I did for so long.

Then I swayed to the total opposite end of the spectrum to then finally get myself in a better balanced place, which I think always happens. If you swing too far one way, you're gonna swing all the way the other way until you kind of find that equilibrium again. So now it's understanding that I can still

make money when I'm not outputting all the time, that the output that I do can carry forward even during the times when I'm not working and that things can still happen when I'm not in that constant state of output.

Emily: And how do you balance having a part-time job with growing your business?

Ashley: It is tough. I mean, reality, if you wanna grow a business, You've gotta sacrifice. Like I will talk about that till the day I die, that I don't believe, at least at the beginning. If you wanna grow something and you're also working, like maybe that means one less night of Netflix, maybe it means one less social outing.

There's gotta be some kind of sacrifice. and you've got to make sure that you have the time for yourself or else you'll burn out. Like, yeah, you can't work all day, all night, even if you have a part-time job. And yes, you've gotta make sacrifices. There still needs to be that time for self. So how that looks for me is breaking up the day.

So like I'll work in the morning for my job. And then I like to do something in the middle, like do yoga, go for a walk, have a reiki session, go for a massage, a facial, do something in the middle of the day as sort of demarcation and practice for me to get into myself and to connect with myself. And then I go and do some business stuff in the evening

Emily: And then in the evening. Do you have anything that sort of signals like, okay, we get to be done for the night. We need not work forever and ever?

Ashley: Sometimes. I mean, I do like to work late, I'll admit, and so I'm kind of fluid in this part where sometimes say at like 1:00 PM.  I will go for a massage and I'll walk by the ocean.  I'll spend a few hours in the afternoon doing things for me cuz I am more of a day person in terms of leaving the house and just doing things that fuel me.

It happens in the daytime. So then at night I don't mind say working after dinner for a couple hours because it's like I had such an enriching a. , ensuring that there's some time of enrichment that has to happen every day. Like you're not gonna be consistent every day. Maybe one day it'll be an hour, 30 minutes, two hours, four hours, but you've gotta find that time and make the time.

For me, lately, that looks like actually scheduling it in. Otherwise, I can just get lost and be like, oh my gosh, it's midnight and I'm still working and I haven't really done anything. For me, it's like, Lately it's been like nine 30. Phone is going off and you're gonna read, you're gonna journal, you're gonna pull cards.

You're gonna do something that doesn't have to do with your phone and doesn't have to do with your laptop.

Emily: I love that. And being a human design manifestor, how do you incorporate your human design into your way of working?

Ashley: I incorporated it with everything. Oh my gosh. I know and acknowledge. I am the initiator and that I am the visionary who has the ideas, and I also acknowledge how good it feels to be supported.

So there's someone that I've worked with for over two years. She helps support me in many different ways. So I'll usually go to her for that kind of next step or like that soundboard to help me process and maybe like, Chunk down what it is, the big vision is so that I can then take the actions to move forward.

Because I often see like such the big perspective versus the small steps. And she's like so great at helping me chunk it down and be like, okay, here's what you should do next, and then focus on this and I could support you with graphics for that, or however it might work. So acknowledging that I do work very well with support on the execute.

and also acknowledging that as a manifestor, I do have a lot of energy, so like some manifestors and there is a lot of talk that manifestors don't have that much energy and like this felt weird to me for a while because I was like, oh, I have a lot of energy, like is something wrong with me? But the deeper you get into your human design, like there are different aspects to our charts that make us different.

Even as Manifestors, obviously as humans, we're all also different. So I do actually have a lot more energy. Even as a manifestor, but it's acknowledging and tapping into my body a lot more frequently to listen to when it's tired because I have an undefined sick girl, and so I can amplify the energy of others around me a lot, and that's often not my energy.

So it's tapping in and being like, okay. , is this inspiring me right now? Like do I feel inspired by this and is it something that I'm working on at nine o'clock because I'm inspired or because I'm like taking in the energy, feeling like I have to do this. So it's really cool, like the deeper I get into my human design and just like number one, decondition because we all, I believe, have to go through a very long process of deconditioning and to just own my power. And one big thing that I learned this year as a manifestor is that when I put something out, it can be perceived from a much more intense and harsh perspective than say a generator. So I can't really just come out here and throw my offers at you because you won't receive it in the same way.

As say a generator who came out and just started throwing out these offers. So I have to do a lot of like teasing and behind the scenes and this is something I do really well and I love like teasing so much to the point of people are like, come on, I'm ready to buy already. But like I have to do that because I have like this harsh repelling aura, which I totally own cause my people can just choose to stay with me and those who are not from me can just get out of the way.

but it's really helpful to know this as a manifestor that like I've really kind of got a build up right before I drop the things for people.

Emily: Well, and I think that's part of the informing as well, is that people wanna feel included in what you're doing instead of feeling like, oh, she's just over here doing her own thing. Yeah. And so it's like informing every step of the way. Like, Ooh, I'm working on something new that's informing. Yeah, it's going to be dropping tomorrow. That  information, it's going to be for people who want this, or that's informing, like, and so then all of a sudden when the offer drops, we feel like so much more included.

Ashley: That's it. Yeah. Otherwise, I can just be like a bulldozer, . People are like, what the heck? Like, where does, does this come from? Like, whoa. Like it does, it kind of just knocks people off their feet. I didn't acknowledge that in business for a while, and I can say now, looking back that when I was coaching, I was dropping offers more like that.

So it's like, okay, looking back now, I could see why people weren't signing up for certain things because there wasn't that informing of the process and taking you along for the journey. It was just like, here's this, here's that, here's that, and people couldn't receive.

Emily: Yeah. That's so interesting. Well, I think you're like one of my favorite accounts to follow cuz I feel like you do such a good job of like bringing us along and like sharing what you're doing and I mean, who doesn't wanna like go virtual crystal shopping? So fun. It's so now

Ashley: I have so much fun doing it that way, so I'm glad that that's how it can serve.

Emily: Totally. I think this would be a good point in time for you to share where you hang out online so that everyone else can get in on this action as well.

Ashley: So I'd say I hang out the most on Instagram, so you can find me at ashleys.light

and I love playing on Facebook too. I kind of have two different energies, like there's the Facebook energy, I don't know if you feel this. The Facebook energy and then there's the Instagram energy. So you can also find me on Facebook on my personal page. Ashley Vincent.

Emily: Amazing. And what if people wanna buy your product?

Ashley: Yeah, I have a link tree, which I've linked in the show notes. All the things are there because I do everything from my own personal. Products to creating a custom product for you, or if you're not quite at that stage yet, I can curate like the most beautiful, magical gift box specific for your clients.

Emily: Yeah, I think it's such a great idea because I know a lot of, whether you're a coach or a consultant or you run an agency, oftentimes like when a new client signs, you wanna send them something being like, yay, we get to work together. Or the holidays are coming around, you wanna send them something. And my gosh, it's nice to have someone who's curating that for you and taking care of it.

And so it got all of the nice like personalized touches. Handwritten this and curated that without it taking away from whatever your own core business is.

Ashley: Yeah, that's it. It's like, I'll do it all for you. It's as easy as ordering flowers online, like you fill out a form . It could be a click easy thing

and I handle everything. Like I put it together and I ship it out. So all you need to tell me is who it's for, kind of their vibe. Cuz I do it pretty intuitively, which I love as well. Yeah. Where like I tap into the energy of the people and select like the most perfect curation for that person. So it's pretty special.

Emily: Amazing. I know I've referred so many people to you. Somebody yesterday was like, is there any service where you can like say what your budget is and like someone will just send you a gift? She's like, I wanna buy myself a Christmas gift. And I was like, oh my God, Ashley Vincent does this. So connect with her.

Ashley: I love it. Yes, and I love that it's a self-gift. I say that too. It's like this can be for you too. Like you can curate yourself the most beautiful gift. Why not?

Emily: Why not? Absolutely. So if you're wanting to give yourself a gift, Ashley can also help you with that. Okay, my final question. So one of like my missions is to help women discover and embody their lux life.

So I would just love to hear from you. What does your lux life look?

Ashley: Oh gosh. I have been a lux lady my whole life. I think it started when I was 18, working in a fine dining restaurant, seeing the people around me, just eating delicious food, drinking delicious drinks. Having fun. So Lux living is like the pure, deepest enjoyment of all of your senses.

To me it's so sensual, if that's a word, like it embodies all of your senses, like. I wanna touch the most beautiful things. I wanna taste the most beautiful things, see the most beautiful things. It's like how can I incorporate my senses so deeply to create like the most beautiful, luxurious experience?

Emily: Amazing. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Takeaways

Ashley's amazing. I know you're gonna love her. I know you wanna follow her, share with us that you watched the episode. You can tag her at Ashley's light, you can tag me at Em Makes Money. I would love to hear what your top takeaways were. And I will tell you mine.

Number one, when we start as entrepreneurs, it's easy to get oversold and be in our wounded feminine, hoping that someone will save the day for us.But learning those lessons is part of the journey.

Number 2,  If you're doing everything right on paper and it's still not working, go inward to see what's truly aligned for you and start following those intuitive nudges. Number three, there are so many ways to build a successful business. Often the things that we naturally love and gravitate toward are the things that we can leverage to become an innovator in our field,

Number four, helping our human feel safe with some consistent, steady income as we build our dream. Business is not a failure. It is liberation.

Number five, learn your human design so that you can show up more authentically and powerfully in life and in business. And number six, give yourself the flexibility to create a work-and-play schedule that fits you and your life, not anybody else's.

Thank you so much for tuning in. I actually have a really exciting interview coming up next week with Tara Kinden. And Tara is another incredible, multifaceted woman entrepreneur who has played with product and human design in all kinds of different businesses. So it's actually really funny that her interview is back-to-back with Ashley's cuz there's definitely some synergy there.

But of course, she's got like such a unique story as well. You're gonna absolutely love it. So make sure you tune in and if you've been enjoying the show, please leave a review. Please share the show with a friend. Please subscribe to the show. Thank you so much as always, for your support. I will talk to you soon. Bye! 

Listeners like you make this show what it is. So thank you for tuning in. Please subscribe, leave a review and share this show with someone you love. I always appreciate listener feedback, so feel free to slide into my DMS on Instagram. Em Makes Money and if you wanna explore hiring me as your money healer and business mentor, head to emilywilcox.com to explore.

Until next time, I'm sending you all the magic money vibes.