When the Math Stops Making Sense

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In this episode of The Em Makes Money Show, I'm talking about what happens when the math stops making sense. 

We'll talk about:

💥 What it looks like to hit your energetic capacity in business

💥 Why energy leaks and energy drains can limit your businesses growth

💥 What happens when we don't want to trade more time and energy for more money 

💥 Why balancing your masculine and feminine energy is NOT optional

💥 How you can tap into masculine energy that is not sourced from YOU. 

When we open our business, we imagine that we will trade our time, energy, and expertise for money, and we want that to be a relatively balanced exchange. So we come up with a pricing strategy that considers our time, energy, knowledge, and how much money we want for that.

We create a pricing strategy that considers our time, energy, knowledge, and how much money we want for that. Yet we get to this point where if we have to do more to make more money, either physically or in our wisdom and in caring about other things in our life, we choose not to because we know that trade will be detrimental. 

Now the point where it stops making sense happens at different places for different businesses. How it plays out and when it shows up depends greatly on how you run your business and what your desires are for your life and your business.

I have a solopreneur client who is already hitting this point, and she's at about $10k months, while for me, it happened as we approached seven figures in annual cash at our agency. And for one of my other clients, it happened around the $20,000 monthly mark. 

Let's talk about why this happened. And what we can do about it. 

As I explained, when we begin our business, we enter into what we believe will be a balanced trade of time and energy. But we didn't consider masculine and feminine energy, our inner child wounds, and how that would all play out in our business.

When we look at the things that tend to exhaust us the most and feel the most draining, it is rarely part of our business where we take our zone of genius, our real expertise, and our deep knowledge on a subject and transfer it in exchange for money. 

That is rarely the place where the math stops making sense. The math almost always stops making sense around something else. 

For example:

If I've been doing sales calls to get more clients and going against the energetic exchange that actually feels good because I can tell that the client has a money issue, and I have an unhealed mothering issue.

So I am trying to mother them out of it and do something that makes it work for them, even if it's self-sacrificing for me. 

And then some of those clients still say no. And then, I feel personally rejected in my business, and it feels like I want to give up. I'm not worthy. I'm no good at this. This business sucks.

This is a COMPLETE ENERGY DRAIN! 

Do you see how different that part of the equation is versus what we put on paper? Where it is simply: I have this thing, and you want this thing. Here's the amount of money for the trade. 

Let me give you another example. 

I am running my business. I am the CEO. Everyone comes to me when there's a problem.

Anytime someone is out sick, I'm the one that has to fill in. Anytime someone's on vacation, I'm the glue that has to fill in all the pieces. I've got the knowledge up here on how to run everything in my business. Whenever there's a question or a problem, everyone's always coming to me.

Even if I'm giving them the answer or setting them off to do the work, I still feel responsible for the outcome. I still worry if they'll get the work done properly or if they'll do it in the right amount of time, and it's draining. It's exhausting. I'm getting pulled in a thousand different directions all the time.

That's an energy drain, and it's an energy drain that we definitely didn't capture on paper! 

So, when we get to this point that the math stops making sense, it is ALMOST ALWAYS because there's something else going on in the way we run our business where there's a MAJOR ENERGY LEAK AND ENERGY DRAIN. 

When we think about giving more time and energy to make more money, it just doesn't feel good. 

And the part of us that is wise and doesn't want to sacrifice our health, well-being, time with our family, and doing other things that light us up says, "If that's what I have to do to make more money, my answer is NO!"

But then we also look around, other people are making a lot more money and having a high quality of life, and it seems they don't have the same math problems.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and we all have some sort of energetic capacity. It's not like one person has 50 times the energy of a normal human, and that's why their business grows more. 

So why is it that for some people, the math seems different? 

This is where masculine and feminine energy comes into play because the things we bring into our business allow us to run it in a certain way.

When we talk about masculine and feminine energy in business, essentially, what we're talking about is: 

1. What's my balance of healthy giving and unhealthy giving? 
2. And what's my balance of healthy receiving and unhealthy receiving?

And when those balances are off, we are much more energetically drained. Often to the extent that we don't want to trade more time and energy for more money. 

So in the earlier example where my client was undercharging and mothering her clients, undercharging is a wounded feminine energy while mothering is a wounded masculine energy.

I'm going to give and overgive, and I'm going to take care of you and be helicoptering around trying to satisfy your needs instead of allowing you to rise up or have your own experience.

Here both the wounded feminine and the wounded masculine have turned into a massive energy drain.

The wounded feminine also doesn't respect her own boundaries. She's a doormat. She let people walk all over her. She doesn't honor her own energetic needs or desire. She allows other people to be more important. Again, a massive energy drain. 

In the other example where everyone's coming to you whenever they have questions, whenever something comes up, whenever anybody's on your team is out, you're the one who's stepping in with more doing that's wounded, masculine.

You're doing all of the thinking. You're stepping in on all of the doing. Your natural response is to lean in, do more, and give more. So in that wounded masculine, your energetic capacity for more business and for more money is low. 

This isn't because you don't have a zone of genius and you don't have an incredible skill set that other people want to pay for; that's not the problem. The problem is the way you've structured your business and your role within is operating too much in the wounded masculine, creating a massive energy drain and energy leak. 

Until that's patched up, you're not going to want to grow your business more. Because when you imagine it, if you imagine 5Xing or 10Xing your business, it feels like the weight of 10 elephants on your shoulders.

Why? Because you're constantly overthinking and overdoing, and there's only so far you can do that before you get burnt out, you have a health crisis, or you just want to close up shop and combust. 

So again, the math stops making sense. 

My client, who had this happen when she was around $20,000 per month, was mothering everyone.

She was hiring people that needed rescuing, and then she was the rescuer. She had clients that wanted to be rescued, and she was doing the rescuing with them. 

There's only so much rescuing you can do before you feel completely drained and like you have nothing left to give. It's not because her business was at $20,000 months and couldn't scale beyond.

It was because, energetically, there were things that needed to be cleaned up and rebalanced in order for it to feel good to scale. 

When you get to the point where you imagine your business quadrupling, or you imagine taking on more clients, and it feels heavy, hard, tiring, and draining, that's a natural resistance point. It's going to be harder for those clients to come in because there's a part of you that does NOT want it. 

Yes, you want the money, but you don't want everything else that has to come along with it. 

So when I talk about balancing masculine and feminine energy, often it can sound very philosophical, almost like a mind exercise, but it is remarkably practical. 

When you want to grow your revenue and build your business sustainably in terms of time, energy, and money, you must balance masculine and feminine energy.

It's not optional. If we don't balance it, we are not sustainable.

When we start to feel like the math isn't making sense, it can be an invitation from our higher self to look at it and say, "Is there another way?"

And sometimes, it's a practical thing where you are too much in masculine, but you need the masculine. So it's figuring out how to get you out of the masculine but still have masculine energy. 

That could look like this:

• Hiring someone else on the team
• Putting in place an s o p
• Putting in place a system, software
• Or creating some sort of structure

All of these hold masculine energy. So that energy still gets to be there in the business, but you get to be more in the sacred feminine. Where you get to be receiving, relaxed, surrendered, trusting, open, expressive, flowing, creative, all of that is now available to you because you've got some masculine energy in your business in a form other than YOU.

This is one of my favorite things to teach, and it comes up time and time and time again in my private coaching, in my mastermind containers. 

And so once a year, I bring all of it, both the intellectual concepts and the practical hands-on strategies and tactics, into a live program.

If you want to scale and you feel like you're bumping up against that energetic ceiling. 

If you want to bring in more money, and you can tell you're blocking it, but you don't know how.

If you imagine yourself truly having so many ways that money flows to you without you being the day laborer who's out there toiling for it. 

This is for you. 

This work has been the most incredible piece of my own journey, my own growth, not only in building the agency into seven figures but also then creating the energetic capacity in the time capacity to build a multi-six figure coaching business and to do all of that in 20 hours.

Because I want to be really present for my kids, and the only way that can happen is if I'm in my balanced masculine and feminine energy so that my businesses are set up in a way that allows for it and allows for time freedom.

I feel like I'm a living testimonial of this balance, and I invite you into it. Join me for Sacred Structure.