Episode 72: How Coaching is Like the Ultimate "Hint Button"

Emily shares a unique and fun perspective on coaching and how it can help you hack the game of life.

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Transcript

When I think about coaching and mentorship at a high level, which is what I'm doing, I'm not actually giving anyone a step-by-step for anything. And I'm actually gonna be sharing some live coaching sessions on the podcast here coming up, so you'll really get a sense of my coaching style. But it's not, Here's step 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. It's high level. It's helping my client see the one thing they can't. I'm like the hint button in sudoku.

Hi, welcome to the Em Make Money show and thank you so much for being here. I wanted to share an incredible free resource with you that's been a money game changer for more than a thousand women and a few men too. My money wounds quiz will quickly diagnose your top money wounds, and then you'll get access to a free masterclass on how to heal them. I get comments all the time sharing how life-changing this resource is, and no one can believe it's free. Just go to moneywoundsquiz.com to get started.

Hello and welcome back to the Em Makes Money Show. I am actually here recording in my home office in this pocket of time between when I pick Faye up from school and when I pick JJ up from school. And I just have to acknowledge how amazing it is to be in this season of life, at least with my eldest child, where I can say, Okay babe, I'm gonna record something. So I'm closing all the doors to my office. You're on your own. If you get stuck on any of your homework, just wait and I'll help you with it. When I come out, she's like, "Okay, mom," and she doesn't interrupt me.

What a gift. What a gift. What a gift. JJ on the other hand has zero respect closed office door and he will just barge right in to let me know if something is not to his liking. So that is why we do not record while JJ's in the house. Anyhow, I hope you've been enjoying the show. I wanted to share. I actually just discovered that we're super close to a huge milestone, so we're about to cross 10,000 lifetime downloads of the EM Makes Money show which just totally blows my mind. And that number actually doesn't even include YouTube. So if we added in YouTube. I know there's a single episode on YouTube that already has like 1500 views, so we would already be over 10,000, which just. It's amazing. I'll tell you if you've ever thought about doing a podcast, it's one of those experiences where you really have to play the long game and you have to be in it because you love it and just trust in the compound effect over time, and I'm super grateful for this space.

I feel like it makes me a better human being. I genuinely love the conversations. I'm always so fascinated by the other humans that I get to connect to and I just feel so grateful to all of you that listen, and especially those of you who then take the time to let me know that you listen and what you like about this show. It really, really means a lot. I so super appreciate it and that's why I wanted to share so that you guys are part of the milestone as well.

So that's what's on top for me and I wanted to give you a little riff today on actually something that's been sort of a little happier PAs time for me recently. So if you listen to the episode called What I'm Working on, I talked about how I noticed that I was spending two much time on my phone sort of mindlessly scrolling and checking in on the Instagram dms. Being like attached to like the busyness and the activity in my business, right? And so what I found for myself is that there are random downtimes in my day where I kind of wanna be on my phone and doing something somewhat mindless.

And so I recognize that rather than try to completely change the habit, that maybe I could replace it with something different that wasn't social media or checking email or that kind of thing. And so what I replaced it with is sudoku. And if you know anything about Sudoku, it's like a numbers game. So there's this grid with all these little cells and a certain number of them are filled in with a number, and then you have to use logic to figure out all of them and fill in all the cells.

So it's been interesting. It definitely does not addict me to the level that social media does, So I'm grateful for that. It's much easier for me to just like plug-in and. But I feel like actually Sudokus like been such a gift because I'm not doing as much consuming, and because of that I notice even more when I do get into the scroll and I am consuming too much from other coaches, that it makes me feel bad about myself and my work and my voice and my contributions.

So just taking that away and replacing it with anything would be a huge level up. But then I think there are some interesting things about Sudoku as well. So I've really leaned into like stretching my brain and figuring out how to get better and faster, which I love about the game. But then I also feel like there are just some interesting parallels to our lives, our businesses, and coaching and mentoring relationships.

So that's a real reason that I'm here and riffing on this topic. So here's the. So Doku is all about seeing something that's hard to see, so will often happen. I play at the hard level on the app that I have, and so you can't just use basic logic to fill in all the numbers. What will happen is that you'll start to put notes in some of the cells.

So you'll get it down to, it's always a number one through nine, but based on some of the logic, you can be like, Okay, in this cell it's either a two, a seven or a nine. And in this other cell it's a two or a nine. And so you'll have your grid kind of filled up with notes, and then you've gotta look. And try to see something that's hard to see, which is where is there an answer hidden in this grid?

So sometimes it's like, Oh, well all of my notes from this one block show me that the nines are only in this one column. So now if I come to this other block, I know that nines can't be in this column because there's going to be one in the column above, so it gets kind of nerdy and you really have to use some more advanced logic. And sometimes it's like I just can't see it no matter what I do like I've scanned over every row and every column, and I can't see where my next move is. So then I use the hint feature. And the hint will show me the thing I can't see. And what's amazing is that sometimes the hint doesn't, at first seem like it's that helpful.

It's like, Okay, yes, I see that this hint means that I can eliminate one number from a possibility of other numbers in the cell. But then you're still like, Okay, but how does that actually matter? How does this connect to everything else? And once you figure it out later in the game, Just getting one number can set off a cascade where all of a sudden you can solve the whole puzzle within like 10 or 20 seconds.

So it's like seemingly, you're far away from the goal, but you're actually just one number away from solving the entire puzzle. and it's just a matter of seeing what you couldn't see. So of course my brain loves analogies and is always drawing conclusions and similarities between these silly life experiences and these greater principles and our business.

And when I think about coaching and mentorship at a high level, which is what I'm doing, I'm not actually giving anyone a step-by-step for anything. And I'm actually gonna be sharing some live coaching sessions on the podcast here coming up, so you'll really get a sense of my coaching style. But it's not, Here's step 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. It's high level. It's helping my client see the one thing they can't see. I'm like the hint button in Sudoku, and sometimes the hint feels like, Oh my God, this is it. And now everything else falls into place and other times the hint button feels like, Okay, yeah, I get that, but how does that connect to everything else?

And then it still takes a while to make the connection and then have all of the other pieces fall into place. And that's what I've experienced with my mentors as well. The best ones anyway. Honestly, the ones that told me do step 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I was grateful for them at the time because I didn't trust myself, but their steps ended up being a total boondoggle and it took me off track as much to the degree that you can get off track, right?

I actually believe that these detours and obstacles and setbacks and roadblocks are part of our journey. You can't really skip over them. But what I learned in those, Hey, I'm the coach, do this, this. Is that someone else's way is never gonna feel great to me, and it's never gonna give me insane, exponential, wild success. It can help to a degree, but when I'm doing something that's not in full alignment, that doesn't totally light me up, it's just not going to give me the same results that it gave to the coach who's teaching beecause to them it feels like the best thing since sliced bread.

So in my coaching, I am more like the hint button. I'm not telling you how to play a sudoku. I'm not teaching you the basic logic. I'm not giving you a step-by-step. It's not the way that I would help Faye do her homework. I trust that you are empowered, high-performing, incredible human being that has such a unique perspective and that your perspective is more important than mine. But I get to help you see what you can't see.

And I pay mentors and I invest heavily in mentorship so that someone can help me see what I can't see and give me a different perspective. And as you guys know, if you've been listening, I've been recently working with a therapist. She will sort of start every call saying, "What's your agenda?" And she'll say, "I have things that I can bring to the table, but your agenda is always most important."  And while I appreciate that, and I do agree clearly that the client's agenda is important, I also always tell her. The reason that I'm working with you is because I want a perspective outside of my own. So my agenda is always going to be biased through the lens of my experience, my limiting beliefs, my limiting thoughts, right? Whereas her agenda or her menu, so to might have a completely different item on the menu than I've ever even thought of. So I do appreciate the collaboration and the co-creation.

That gives me a different perspective, and I like working with mentors who have some intuitive gifts as well. They may not call themselves psychic, or they may not even say that they channel, but it's clear that they get some information from the divine or they get a little intuitive hit or a little nudge or a little thought that's so spot on.

I love that because again, it feels like just this little hint from the universe coming through my coach on a new perspective, a new idea, a greater vision for myself than what I'm able to see. And so, Of course, since I love that when I'm a client, that's something that I do inside of my coaching relationships as well.

I really spend time tending to in nurturing my channel, which is my direct communication with the divine, so that more ideas and feelings and inner knowing can come through, not just for myself, but also for my clients. And so. As I mentioned, I was recently in Sedona on retreat. It was not a business retreat.

It was much more of a spiritual retreat. But when I'm tending to my spirituality, my clients benefit from it. I benefit from it. My businesses benefit from it because it's all connected, and the more that I can tap into my inner knowing and less being less reliant on logic or overthinking or planning or trial and error, the better it is. So my inner knowing and my inner feeling gets to lead the way. So thank you Sudoku for sponsoring. Just kidding. They didn't actually sponsor it. Sponsoring this riff on why you should hire a coach or mentor for your business and life. And obviously, that coach or mentor should be me. So slide into my DMS and let's sign you up.

Okay. I'm kidding cuz clearly that is not. The way that I sell, and it is true that I have a spot open for one-on-one coaching, and I also have a spot open inside of my high-level mastermind. I'm kind of loving this time of year because Paul starts to make me think about like, "How do I wanna cross the finish line for this year, and how do I wanna set myself up with the right support for next year?"

So if you've been thinking about making a bold move and you've been wanting to work together, I think it's a really beautiful time to get started. And I sometimes see people put it off, Oh, I'll start in January, and then pretty soon their January list is a mile long like, "Oh, I wanna start a new diet. I wanna start a new workout routine. I wanna hire a coach. I wanna do all these new things," and that is an overload on our nervous system. So it's like what a gift to actually give yourself by setting yourself up with coaching now and then having that take you through the end of this year and through the beginning of next year. So it's not like one more new thing to start in January.

So you can chew on that. And the easiest way to explore working together is to either go to emilywilcox.com or slide into my DMS. Let me know what you're looking for and I can share what is available. As I mention coming up on the podcast, I'm gonna be doing some live coaching sessions with clients.

I'll be sharing those. They're gonna be extra juicy. You're gonna get a look. What I'm like as a coach and what it's like to be in a coaching relationship together. So stay tuned. As always, thank you so much for listening to the show. I appreciate you subscribing, leaving positive reviews, sharing it with friends and family.

It is such a gift, and I will talk to you soon. Bye.

Listeners like you make this show what it is. So thank you for tuning in. Please subscribe, leave a review and share this show with someone you love. I always appreciate listener feedback, so feel free to slide into my DMs on Instagram at emmakesmoney as well. And if you wanna explore hiring me as your money healer and business mentor, head to emilywilcox.com to explore. Until next time, I'm sending you all the magic money vibes.