Episode 71: Get on the Field Before You're Ready
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Whatever our thing is if we're not willing to take the action, we're not willing to be seen in the process, we're not willing to let our best be good enough, and to trust that our best is gonna continue getting better, then we take ourselves out of the game, right from the get-go. We spend all of our time in planning mode all of our time in thinking mode and we don't take any action.
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Hello and welcome back to EM Makes Money show. I hope you all are having a good week. My life, It's been interesting. It's a total first-world problem like I'm gonna share this with you and none of you will feel sorry for me, but we've committed to too many fun things in our household and it's kind of like going to a delicious buffet and all of the food is so good, but still, if you eat too much of it, you're gonna suffer. And that's a little bit of what is going on.
So last week I was on retreat in Sedona, which was amazing. Jeff went to Oregon to visit some friends. So we had someone here watching the kids. And then we have more travel coming up. Jeff is flying out on Thursday to go up to Tahoe and see Luke Combs who's his favorite country music artist just for a night. Then he flies back then over the weekend, we're going to see Morgan Wallen, who is another of our favorite country artists. And then. Tuesday or Wednesday of next week, we fly to Albuquerque for the balloon Fiesta and to visit my parents and to do a VIP day with a beloved client. And we're there for almost a week. Then we get home I'm home for one day, and then I go to Palm Springs till my Rise retreat. So it's all amazing stuff. It's all stuff that we committed to and said yes to. And on Sunday when I had just gotten home from Sedona, Jeff told me like, "Hey, I actually booked a surprise date night for us on Tuesday."
He's like, but I kind of wanna tell you what it is because I know our schedules have been feeling so full. We might wanna decide if it still feels aligned. So he told me that he bought tickets to the Pantages theater, which is where we get all of our amazing off-Broadway productions here in Los Angeles to jagged little pill, the musical and we both decided, although the sentiment was amazing that our schedules just felt too full and it might be nice to have a more chill week. And so we would either resell or give away the ticket.
Then on Monday, we get a text from some friends who live up in big bear, which is like a couple of hours away from us saying, "Hey Jeff, we have your sweatshirt. Do you want us to bring it into the park tomorrow?" That text was very confusing to Jeff and I, until we realized that actually on Tuesday night, we had committed to going to the Oogie Boogie Bash, which is a Disney event. It's at Disney's California adventure. You have to get tickets on the day of it's like getting concert tickets, you gotta wait in a virtual queue. It's a big to do. So we had very intentionally gotten tickets and agreed to go with this other couple, but somehow had never put it onto our calendar. So the Tuesday that we thought we would just have open was actually double booked with date nights, the Pantages theater event and the Oogie Boogie Bash.Pantages clearly we were not gonna do, but a Boogie Bash did not feel like something that we could back out of nor did we really want to. So we scrambled last minute to get a sitter and we were there last night. I Didn't get home until almost midnight. Honestly, it's all so fun and I'm ready for a little boredom, to be honest, I want the pendulum to swing a little bit in the other direction.
So as I'm recording this Faye is at softball practice. Jeff is at jujitsu with Jayjay. So I know many of you listening are busy moms and entrepreneurs as well. And you get what it feels like to be filling your life with beautiful things and making memories, and also just needing to check in with yourself and see, does it still feel good? Does it still feel aligned? What do I need right now? And Jeff and I have actually had to be working a little more intentionally together to meet our own needs and meet each other's needs through the busyness. And so Jeff took a little 45-minute power nap today, and then he was just texting me from jujitsu saying, I feel so much better.
I'm so happy. So that's how we're handling it over here. But that is not the reason that I wanted to hit record on the podcast. Before I jump into today's topic though. I did just wanna celebrate that the rise retreat in October is officially sold out. So although I was talking about it on a couple podcasts, it's sold out, I think before those ever even aired, this is such a dream come true. It's something that I have been dreaming into and just feeling that this was meant for me. And yet having to take aligned actions and handle the disappointment of not having sold-out retreats for almost a year before getting my first sold-out retreat. So I'm just really anchoring into the celebration of it and feel so grateful and blessed and just inspired by the women who said yes to this.
I have so many incredible wealth activations planned in this weekend of luxury. It is going to be absolutely transformational. So if you want to retreat with me, you can join a waitlist for spring 2023. Just shoot me a DM and let me know that you're interested and I'll make sure that you get on the waitlist. That means you'll be the first to know and you'll have access to exclusive discounts and bonuses as. I'm working on planning spring 2023. The other thing is that I do have a spot open for one-on-one coaching, and I also have a spot open inside of the becoming, which is my high-level mastermind. So if you've been craving high-level support, let me know. And I would be more than happy to chat with you.
On the topic of momming and all the activities, this is something that just felt like a perfect metaphor for business building and how we sometimes get in our own way. So bear with me in this story. It has a purpose. Faye is doing a YSO soccer. So is Jj and on phase team, she's in like the eight under, under eight division. And you have to have volunteer referees. So they had sent out an email for assistant coaches and they got somebody. Then they sent out an email for volunteer referees, got no one. Sent another email, got no one. So I raised my hand because I don't wanna be the person that doesn't participate and a couple of other people ended up volunteering as well, so that we could kind of share the load and the way that they do the training is it's all online and it ends up actually being hours and hours and hours of training because you also have to get trained on concussion protocols. How to identify any grooming behavior or any emotional or psychological or sexual abuse, like all kinds of things, which is great. And you get taught kind of the rules of roughing. I agreed to doing this under the premise that like it's pretty chill in the eight U division.
As I was going through the referee training, I was hit with some major pulled feet and regret about my willingness to say that I would do it because what it occurred to me is that I've never actually watched a full game of soccer ever in my life. My kids have never done a YSO so I've never even like been to one of their soccer games to see how it all goes down. I've never played a soccer game and I just felt wildly unfamiliar. With this game, I would be much better as an umpire in a tee-ball or softball or baseball game. I would probably be better, honestly, with like flag football or basketball. I just am really unfamiliar with soccer. I'm like, what did I get myself into? This training is like, if the ball goes out of bounds on the side, here's what you do. And if the ball goes out of bounds along the line, near the goal, and it was the offensive team, here's what you do. If the ball goes out of bounds near the goal, and it was the defending team, here's what they. And in the eighth U division, you can allow them to throw it in or kick it in. And like, there were just all of these instances and nuances that really felt foreign to me.
So as the first game was approaching, it was communicated that it was considered a home game for our team, meaning we had to provide an empire. So one of the three umpires emailed the other two of us and said, "Hey, I hurt my back. And my doctor says, I'm not allowed to run for the next couple of weeks." So I'm hoping that one of you guys can umpire the first game or help me. The other guy says, well, I'm providing snacks for the first game. So I can't do. So that leaves me mind you, Jeff is out of town in the weekend that we're talking about. So I'm gonna have JJ with me and I've got no freaking clue what's going on. So I write back and I'm like, Hey, I'm gonna be solo parenting. I've got a four year old. To be honest, I feel completely unprepared to rough this game. I was hoping to observe a little bit first turns out I know nothing about soccer and still don't feel like I know enough about it after having taken this training, but if it's gotta be me, I'll figure it out. I'll throw an iPad in front of my kid and we'll just do the damn thing.
So we sort of arrived at a compromise where the woman who emailed she goes by a nickname Biz. How freaking cool is that nickname. So Biz and I were gonna kind of work together on it. She had taken some notes. She also did not feel super prepared, but we're like, okay, we'll do it together. And so we get there early, we're going through her notes. We're kind of going through the checklist to make sure we've got everything. She bought like a giant coin for the coin flip and we sort of tag-teamed the roughing, which thank goodness we did because it's a big field and you're running back and forth and there's a lot to be looking for.
I was watching the ball the whole time to try to make sure that if it went outta bounds, I knew who kicked it outta bounds, which team and Biz was sort of noticing if girls were pushing, we had to call a couple handballs. And what I also noticed is that as soon as the ball would go out of bounds, I would feel like 60% sure which team kicked it out of bounds.
I would have an initial instinct and then immediately second guess. And feel wildly unprepared to make the call. Thankfully, the coaches were also helpful and very honest, and we all kind of worked together to make it happen. So suffice it to say I was very much outside of my comfort zone and the game went fine. And when I think about this from the lens that I love most, which is entrepreneurship.
I think there are a lot of lessons in this for us because how often are we unwilling to raise our hand, to put ourselves in a position of authority to take the spotlight until we feel that we have quite a lot of expertise now in certain professions, you have to have tons of expertise. You can't just say you're a doctor when you're not, or you can't say you're a lawyer when you're not, but in entrepreneurship, the interesting thing is that you build your expertise as you go, and there isn't necessarily formal training. That's gonna help you and making mistakes and putting yourself out there is an incredibly important part of the learning process.
So before anybody comes after me saying like, it's UN what's the word it's unethical to put yourself out there as an authority figure. When you don't know anything about what you're doing true like don't say that you're a trauma-informed coach and you wanna help people move through big trauma. When all you did was watch one pathetic online training and you have no freaking idea what you're doing.
You could say, "Hey, I'm really interested in learning this. I've done some training and I wanna do some practice sessions for free. If you're down for that, would you let me know? And we'll schedule a time." Put yourself in the arena, put yourself on the field and get the experience as you go. I guarantee you I'm a better soccer referee now than before I did that game. And I'm better now than if I had watched 50 more online trainings, because nothing takes the place of actually getting on the field and actually doing it. Was it my finest most shining moment? No. And let's say that I went on to eventually be nationally recognized referee. I still would've had to have that first game. This is not my chosen profession, by the way. So don't get any ideas. I have zero aspirations for that, but we all have to have that first time that we do a Facebook live, that we run a live program that we record a meditation to put out there to our community, whatever our thing is, if we're not willing to take the action, we're not willing to be seen in the process.We're not willing to let our best be good enough. And to trust that our best is gonna continue getting better. Then we take ourselves out of the game, right from the get-go. We spend all of our time in planning mode all of our time in thinking mode and we don't take any action.
So let this be a sign. If you've been waiting to get in the arena, if you've been waiting to get on the field. In your profession, if you've been wanting to do podcast interviews, but you're afraid you're gonna say the wrong thing. If you've been wanting to speak on stage, but you're nervous that maybe your expertise isn't good enough. I really encourage you to take messy action to take that leap of faith. It very likely will go better than you thought. And you will be so much further ahead having the information and the feedback and all of the learnings from the actual experience versus being stuck in hypothetical thinking and planning mode where you never get a true feedback loop of what worked, what didn't, what you liked, what you didn't like. That's so valuable.
And my husband, who's kind of a history buff, told me about a quote from Ulysse S grant who was well recognized for his leadership during the war. And he really talked about how the most dangerous thing was in action, that he would rather take any action, even if it's the wrong one because then he gets the feedback. He knows it's wrong and he can. But if he's in inaction, he never gets to do that. And that's how you lose the war. And I really believe that's true in our businesses and in our lives as well. We don't wanna lose the proverbial war due to inaction. So the more that we can get out of our own way, the more we can be brave enough to say yes, I acknowledge the part of me that's scared to be seen, that's scared to be heard that doesn't wanna take up too much space, that's worried about judgment, that doesn't wanna be ostracized if I get it wrong, or if I'm not perfect. I see that part of me and I'm willing to soothe her. I'm willing to breathe with her and I'm willing to take courageous action in spite of her. And we'll get braver together.
That's my inspiration for you today. If this is helping you to make the big, bold move that you've been thinking. Let me know, slide into my DM or screenshot this episode, tag me and share the action that you're taking. I would absolutely love to hear it. That's all for now. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
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