Episode 63: What I'm Working On
Find out what Emily is currently working on and where she is leading herself through some growth.
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I realized that I was getting this unhealthy relationship and sort of addiction to business activity. Who's asking me questions? Who's thinking about buying? Who did buy? "Oh, I put an offer out 0.2 seconds ago. Did anybody buy it yet? Did anybody buy now? Did they buy now? And interestingly, it wasn't so much about the money.
I mean, I love the money. Don't get me wrong. And I think it's like an important part of the exchange. But it wasn't like, "Ooh, I need this money. Let me check." Or the money is not here. And that kind of scarcity, it was more like I was getting a dopamine hit.
Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wound so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to moneywounds.quiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent result. And if you're loving my vibe and want to work one on one to call in more feminine energy wealth, I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on social media or go to emilywilcox.com to learn more.
Hello and welcome back to the EM Makes Money Show. I am here just for a chat, a little update on life, and some of the things that I'm working on. At the time of this recording, we are halfway through summer. It's been an interesting week. Faye has been doing basketball camp. So it's been like an all-day nine to four kind of thing, which has felt nice in terms of having full-day childcare for both kids.
This is the first week all summer that that's happened. Shout out to all the moms listening who are running and building and growing businesses and also juggling spottier childcare during the summer, the struggle is real. So, so her first experience with basketball, she tells me, she's not sure if she's gonna play the season, which is like in the winter, but she made her first basket yesterday, which she was super excited about.
I kind of think at this age, she's seven. It's really just about exposure, cuz like, how are you gonna know if you like a sport if you don't try it. And it feels nicer to me to give her some exposure over the summer where it's just like a one-week commitment versus signing up for a full season, anyhow, things that are going on, things that I have been working on or maybe even struggling with.
I kind of thought that that would be an interesting and fun topic to share here with you all. I often get asked what programs I'm doing or who I'm learning from, or how I'm continuing my own like professional development. And also just like doing the inner work as well. So I still consider Melanie and layer to be a mentor.
So I am not in her yearlong mastermind any longer. Commitment went through the end of May, but I did join her alpha fem experience alumni program. So I am in a year's worth of her programs. So most of them I'm now taking for the second time. They do vary a little bit, year to year, but it's been interesting for me to kind of just think back to a year ago when I was hearing this for the first time or how life-changing it was.
And honestly, this goes around, I'm actually just appreciating the fact that I am really good at assimilating and implementing, and embodying the work. I can say that there are very few places where it's like, oh yeah, I wanted to do that a year ago. And I didn't do. Instead, it's like, oh, this is actually just a part of who I am now.
Like to the point where I almost forget that some of it I learned from someone else. Right. So I'm in that I was really feeling pulled to looking into kind of some ancestral connection or ancestral healing. And so I'm doing a program called lineage of love. It's Tori Feldman. Who's leading it. It's pretty large.
I think there's 800 or a thousand of us in the program, but that's been really neat just to reconnect with my ancestors and my lineage. And also just looking at like colonization decolonization or as my friend and soul sister Jillian says re indigeneity. So these are things that have not been a huge piece of my learning or my work up until this point.
And so it's actually been like an interesting growth edge over here, making a little ancestral alter, and it's been a combination of educational learning, but then also embodiment work and meditation and visualization and that kind of thing. So I've been very much enjoying that. I'm also in a program called I think it's called the sacred lovers program.
So Jeff and I are doing that together. That's another place where I was feeling pulled when I thought about, oh, am I gonna what's next for me from an investment perspective? And. I really kept getting the feeling like you're good on the business. Like you've got the business part figured out you've got incredible sisterhood and connections all over the internet and in person and all the things.
And this was a direction that I just kept feeling pulled to intuitively. So just deeper exploration into the path of pleasure and sacred sexuality. And it's also of course, very good for money work as well, because so much of it relates to the chakra, as you might imagine, when I brought up the idea of this to my husband, he was like, yeah, I'm in, it's definitely been fun to prioritize our intimate relationship a little bit more.
It feels like the perfect timing to be doing it because we're just in a phase where our kids are not quite as needy as they used to be. And we're not quite as tired as we used to be. Also, one of the things that I was struggling with last month and I actually processed through it and the mastermind that I'm a part of, and it helped me to understand what exactly it was and name it.
And then kind of figure out some next steps was that I was noticing that I was like spending too much time on social media, but not scrolling. It was more like checking my DMS to see if anybody was there. And then I was also multiple times a day, checking the email account, the HYA, Emily wilcox.com, which is where receipts go.
When someone buys. And so I realized that I was getting this unhealthy relationship and sort of addiction to business activity. Who's asking me questions? Who's thinking about buying, who did buy, oh, I put an offer out 0.2 seconds ago. Did anybody buy yet? Did anybody buy now? Did they buy now? And interestingly, it wasn't so much about the money.
I mean, I love the money. Don't get me wrong. And I think it's like an important part of the exchange. Right. And it being a. But it wasn't like, Ooh, I need this money. Let me check. Or the money is not here. And that kind of scarcity, it was more like I was getting a dopamine hit. And so when I started talking about it, I realized that really what happened was at the end of May, when it was my birthday, I launched like 12 offers over the course of five days.
And so there was tons of activity. People, DMing people needing links, people, buying stuff. And so I got used to that. And then I was just checking, checking, checking, and staying way more plugged in than I wanted to be in the, noticing it and naming it. I was reminded by one of my mastermind sisters, NHA that these technology companies, an app companies spend billions of dollars and work with like the best neuroscientists on the planet to figure out how to make their devices and make them
Addicting right when to give us a little notification or how to keep us really plugged in and spending time on their platform. And so it was a good reminder to just like a acknowledge the fact that the deck is stacked against us. Acknowledge that that is not how I want to live my life. And that's not the example that I wanna be for my clients either.
I don't want women to feel addicted to their business activity, or just always wanting to check and see what's going on. And so I had to lead myself through it. So what that looked like for me was two things. Number one, I removed that email from my phone so that there's no temptation to check it. And then I noticed that on my laptop, I'm actually just like busy actually working when I'm at my laptop.
And so I don't even think about it. So I kind of have to remind myself to check it like once a day, just to make. My assistant is in there more often, but I do like to just keep an eye on it too because sometimes she'll check with me like "Hey, how do I answer this thing or what needs to happen here?" And so I do like to check in, but just removing it from my phone, completely removed any like temptation or just like broke that mindless pattern of checking and then.
The other thing my other mastermind sister Nicole suggested is like when you drop an offer, then intentionally leave social media and like go out and live life, like do something fun. And that was such a good reminder too. I don't want you to think or me to think that anyone is dropping an offer and then just like anxiously waiting by their phone, put it out there, and then go. Because ultimately whether or not someone buys, it has very little to do with us. And it has a lot to do with them. And whether it's the right time for them, whether it's the thing that they're interested in, whether they even see. . And so since so many of those things are out of our control, why spend any time thinking about it?
You just put out the offer or make the post and then go live life and check back in later. So those have been really healthy changes for me, and I feel so much happier. The other thing I noticed just on the topic of my phone is I was doing a little more screen time than I wanted to either scrolling on social media or just like watching shows before bed.
And so those are two things that I've also cleaned up. I just noticed that when I'm scrolling on social media and I'm consuming, I actually don't really enjoy. I don't end up feeling super inspired and sometimes I feel not good because whatever, I think someone else's writing style is better or it makes me feel like there's a million coaches that are all launching retreats right now, or it just gives me a false perception of what's going on.
And maybe I start to compare my work to their work. And ultimately we're all in our own lanes and there's an abundance of money and an abundance of clients. And I really want all of those women to succeed as well, but I just do better actually tuning out of social media a little bit more. So I started just intentionally limiting my scroll and saying like, okay, if I want something a little bit more mindless or like a time killer on my phone, I downloaded Sudoku.
I'm like, I'll play Sudoku. I would rather do that because there are gonna be those down times where you're just a little bored or you have a little minute and you don't wanna dive into something meaningful. So that's been a more fun way for me to kind of fill those little. And then I've also been reading more.
So at night I'm not getting on my phone and I've got a great fiction book that I'm reading and I've got another one teed up. And so sometimes I find for myself like I get a little bit too down the self-development rabbit hole. And I almost take the joy of reading away from myself too. Then I'm reading something self-help that's been recommended to me. And although I might enjoy it, it still feels more like work in a way. And there are times when I just want to enjoy and consume and participate in a way that doesn't feel like, oh, I gotta work on myself or I gotta examine or ask myself hard questions. So it's been fun to just dive back into fiction.
And I actually think we end up more inspired that way too. The best content creation, the best ideas that we end up having for our business and our industry are when we can just feel inspired through other sources, through other industries, and through other people's works of art. And that opens up a channel for more inspiration to come to us or for something that they said, or the way that they did it in sports, or just in a completely different.
We'll have an aha moment about how to apply that same lesson or some version of it into our industry or our business. So I actually feel like we just all need to enjoy the arts, read a book, go to a gallery, be out in nature, enjoy mama Earth's art, her living art. That's there for us. One of the things that I am working on, but more like say that I'm working on and haven't totally done yet is having a little bit more boundary around my involvement at our agency and when I'm involved and when I'm not. So what I really wanna start doing is like logging out of slack. On certain days. So just being like less available and having more intentional time that I'm plugged in, but less time when I'm just sort of checking on things or responding or available, it doesn't end up being a ton of time.
But I think it's just taking away some focus that I could have for my coaching business, which is really what I desire. I'm saying it out loud. Maybe this will create a little more accountability, but think starting July 1st, that would be a perfect time. Let's start to July 21st. I mean, August 1st, I think that would be a really good time to start doing some of this.
And like Wednesdays are an obvious day because it's my goddess day. And then ultimately I wanna be out of Elevate slack on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and then just be more actively involved in that business on Tuesdays and Thursday. But that just feels like a too big of a leap for me right now. So I think that's actually, what's been getting me stuck is that I had the idea and the vision was that I was only doing elevate work on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, but then it's like, I've been noticing my resistance to actually implementing that.
And I think it just feels like too big of a change. So if you've got something like that going on in your business too, I get it. And it's like, can we just rightsize it or make it more a bite-sized piece or a way to dip our toe in the water. And so for me, it'll be starting, just not being in slack on Wednesdays and then expanding that.
So maybe a couple weeks later then saying, "Okay, it's Wednesdays and Fridays that I'm not there. " And then a few weeks after that. Okay. Now it's Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So that's the idea there. And then the last thing that I'm kind of leaning into. Receiving more support in running my programs. So I noticed on Sunday having a little bit of an oof feeling when I did my weekly plan for this week.
And the reason for it is that I'm running a live program this week. So every day there's a training. And I was like, okay. So why is it that I feel a little resistant or a little like a little burdened by running programs? I don't wanna feel that. And what I recognized is that it's not actually the running of the program.
It's more like the ancillary stuff. So it's like making sure that all the participants have the link to join the group and that the schedule is set and that the reminder emails have gone out. Like all of that kind of stuff is like, I have to force myself to do it. And I don't love that because. What happens is then sometimes I don't get the information out as early as I could, which is like also not great for the participants in my program.
They might to have more than a week or two heads up about what the schedule is gonna look like. And so I have an assistant and I just haven't invited her into this piece of the business. And so I started doing. So she was the one who like teed up all the emails for next month when we're doing a couple live Q and A calls. And of course, like there's some back and forth in training. And sometimes that's what stops us from actually delegating is it's like, oh, it's easier for me to do it than it is for me to train someone. Yes. True. And however, gonna get help if you don't prioritize training someone. So she just had to get used to like scheduling email broadcasts through our backend system and understanding what I want and the way that I want it formatted.
So we did some back and forth on that and it felt really good to receive the support and. One of the things I'm adding to my list is to write up an SOP which is a standard operating procedure on more traditional programs moving forward. And like, by what date I wanna have the schedule finalized and what are my pieces and then what are my assistance pieces and how does it all kind of work together to.
Make a really successful and easy rollout of a program. So that's my growth edge that I'm leaning into from my coaching business perspective. So I think that covers everything, at least everything, top of mind, in terms of what I'm working on and where I'm leading myself through some growth. If you enjoy these kind of episodes, take a screenshot and share on social media and tag me and let me know that you listened and that you enjoyed it.
And I will start doing more. My husband, who's a huge Joe Rogan fan. He's like, I think on your podcast, you should just start every episode just talking about life and what's going on and just giving people more of a behind-the-scenes. And I will be honest, that definitely feels stretchier for me, it's really easy to do interviews.
I have something that I'm responding to and I'm a man in human design. My strategy is to respond. So if I've got someone else's energy right there, like I can ask questions and go back and forth all day. But when it's me in a microphone, sometimes it's like, whoa, what am I gonna talk about? So let me know.
Do you like hearing the behind-the-scenes about phase camp and our summer schedule and what's going on and what I'm working on or would you prefer more interviews and just kind of the monthly updates on me?
Thank you so much for your feedback. Thank you for listening. I hope you're having an incredible summer and I will talk to you soon. Bye.
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