Episode 54: Motherhood & Money - Living the "Both-And" Life with Katie Fleming

Katie Fleming is the business coach and mentor for Ambitious Mom™ entrepreneurs scaling 6 and 7 figure businesses without sacrificing their family, their well-being or their calling in the process.

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Emily: It's just more of a surrendering and it's a shifting of dynamics and like being willing to meet each other where we're at now versus falling into the old patterns or the old habits. 

Katie: It's crazy. Cause like when you look back and you kind of figure out the energetic roots of why you started your business, it makes all the sense. I started my business to provide something that I did not get like in childhood. And so it was a trauma response. We start our businesses in a way to respond to this like internal battle. And so when you recognize that you can then start to kind of untangle the other things that relate with your business, the way you receive money, but also the way you receive love and affection from those around you.

Emily: Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so, so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds, so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to money wounds, quiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent results. And if you're loving my vibe and want to work, one-on-one to call in more feminine energy wealth. I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on social media or go to emillywilcox.com to learn more.

Hello and welcome back to the Em Makes Money Show. I'm so happy to be joined by my guest, Katie Fleming, who is the founder of the ambitious Mom brand. She is known for profitable presents and what she calls "The both and life". This is her unique ability to build a wildly successful and profitable business empire and a family legacy at the same time and her deep belief that we don't have to choose either, or, but we can choose, the both and life and have it all.

So, from the beginning of her journey, she had the divine intuition, leading her to be both the CEO of a global brand and the leader in partner on the home front, leading her legacy within her family and her own fort worth, both end. Early on the phrase pursue your calling, both in and out of your home, led her brand and her evolution, both personally and professionally. So Katie, thank you so much for being on the show. 

Katie: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited for this conversation today. 

Emily: I am too. I feel like I have so many questions. So did you always want to be an entrepreneur or did this kind of like, strike you at a certain point in life?

Katie: So, I think I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I don't think when you desire originally came that I would have defined it as that. But I did know from an early age that I would be CEO, like it was something that my parents said, like, you're gonna be a CEO of a company one day. We're all going to be following you. That kind of language was put into my childhood. And so I would say about the time I met my husband, when I was 15, we were dating in high school was when I started to see, like this desire for motherhood and family alongside, of this desire for some kind of a thing. And I didn't know what it was, but I just knew it was something that would allow me to use all of the skills that I had in life and be present with my children. And so it started off with going to college for an accounting degree because I figured there's gotta be a way I can do this. From home and then it evolves into other things and into other things. And then it started, the businesses, entrepreneurship. And before we knew it somehow landed in this industry that I wasn't aware of called coaching. And it was game-changing.

Emily: I'm so blown away that at 15, you were already planting the seeds of some of these things. 

Katie: It's wild to think about. Cause I now have an eight-year-old, almost nine year old and I'm like, oh my gosh, like she's already starting to have these, cause I remember journaling. It was almost like a prayer book where I was like, God, I wanna meet my husband early. I want to be young. And so I was starting those manifestations seeds way early. And then, 15, I remember my grandfather gifted me a car for my, I think it's my 16th-year-old birthday. And I was like, I'm gonna get an SUV because I need to have my mom's car. And how cool would it be to have my kids and have this car paid off? And sure enough, like I brought my first child home from the hospital in this SUV that I got paid for when I was 16.

Emily: Oh my gosh! That is so wild. I'm always fascinated by this. My dad is a psychologist and I'm like, dad, when did you know that you wanted to be a psychologist? And he's like, I always knew in high school, that's what I said I was gonna do. And so then that's what I went to college for. And then I got my masters and then I got my PhD. If I would've gotten a master's or a PhD in something, I would've just wasted like seven years of my life, because my path has been just so zig-zaggy like no one could have predicted it. I was a horse trainer at one point. Okay. 

Katie: How cool is that?

Emily: I know, which is also cool. I loved that  part of my story, but it's just, I can't even fathom 15 year old you. That's just like, okay, cool. So I'm gonna get the mom car. I have my boyfriend, who's gonna be my husband and we're gonna have babies and I'm gonna have a business. And this is just all gonna work out. 

Katie: And the thing about being a sear and like you see it before everybody else does. And everybody else thinks you're crazy. I had my best friend who was like, you're psycho. You think you're gonna marry him? I'm gonna tell him. And then he found out, and then we broke up for a short second until he realized I was right. But it's just so wild to be able to see all the things. But I remember like, as you were telling that story about your dad, I remember looking at, do you remember like the course books when you're going into college and it showed you like all the course options and I'm like looking at this overwhelmed, like journalism. I would, I love to write. That'd be great. Art. Yes. Music, songwriting. Yes. Yes. Yes. Singing. Yes. Accounting. And then it was all the things. And it's really cool to be in this online space today. And I know you feel me on this and get to witness the merging of all the parts of ourselves and all of the passions that we have and all the gifts that we have to give and like literally let our business be this masterpiece. Then we get to create and we have been creating since we were born, so cool. 

Emily: A hundred percent. I think it's like such a unique thing about the coaching industry is that like the parts of ourselves that we didn't think belonged actually really do belong. And when we can go through that reclamation process. And allow ourselves to be more fully expressed. It's like, that's actually, the magic. You'll have a client that hires you and then tells you at some point like, oh, well, I hired you because you love to paint. And I love to paint and you have animals and you have kids and it's all of the things that felt random or like they didn't fit together. It's like for your soulmate client, that's why they know that, like, you're the one for them. 

Katie: It's so true. This morning I was just reviewing, I have this form that my clients fill out when they come into my world and we're about to have this onboarding call this afternoon. And one of the reasons why she worked with me is because she likes that I say the word "Jupe", and that's the word I use to like, describe like the effect that happens from one level to another, like jupe of like, that's the reason it's just so cool when we allow our personality to come out and like really be different than every other person on the feed and just get to share our heart with these people on the internet. It's just, I love it. I'm obsessed with them.

Emily: So your husband, has he always been supportive of, The both and life or did he have to come around to it? 

Katie: He has. It's funny, like when I was reminiscing over, like, my journey with investing and stuff before our conversation, and I remember some of the first investments. I was like, here's the plan. Here's what I'm gonna do. To me, I was never really asked him permission. And I think that's a really key thing for women that are listening. Because if you go in with needing his permission, you're probably not gonna get it because husbands typically will mirror our doubts in order to protect us. But it was never permission. It was like more of a, I seek your blessing and your co-creator ship on this thing. But I brought him these things and I was like, here's the program? Here's what it's gonna help me do. This is gonna be the thing. And it was like five grand on a credit card. And he was like, okay, that's fine. And then it turned into another, wait a second. I've found the thing. Here's the thing, this like literally, probably a year of finding the thing after the thing. And he's finally like, okay dude, what's up? You keep saying, this is the thing and it's not, so what are you gonna do? And that was when I really started to realize that the thing is not anybody else.

It's not the course. It's not the Facebook ads. It's not the launch strategy. It's not the content. It's none of it. It's you. And so I really went into. I had a season of like, just really great mentors that showed me that I realized, like, obviously I've been doing the energetics and the manifestations since I was 15, I just didn't have language for it.

So then I started to have the language around that and started to realize, oh, wait a second. This is my superpower and that's when things shifted for me and my business.

Emily: I love that so much because obviously like I'm team mentor, like I've been in a million masterminds, I've had so many different coaches and such and I too. And I think this is actually just like a right of passage and it's like part of what we need to learn in our entrepreneurial journey is that when the investment is made with an energetic signature of damsel and distress. Looking for a rescuer. We're not going to get the result that we want from that program. We end up paying for the lesson. So we think that what we're paying for is like someone else that's going to teach us and show us the way and like turn our business into something super successful. 

What we're actually buying is the lesson that no one else can save the day for us. And no one else has the exact blueprint of what's going to make our business successful. And it can be a tough pill to swallow because it can feel like such disappointment or it can feel like manipulation or things like that. But it's like, once we understand it through the context of just energetics and what we needed to learn, I feel like it really recontextualizes it for us because it's like, oh, well, that's why it didn't work. It wasn't that I was broken or I couldn't figure it out. And it wasn't that coach just totally. The moment I bought it, I was wanting a savior. So of course, the universe isn't going to give me all of the money and success I want when I'm looking for a savior, because that's, like, not what we want to build evidence around.

Katie: 100%. And for me it was. I just remember being in some of these pivotal rooms, any of my investments I've looked back and there's obviously lessons or things where I'm like, I wish I didn't do that. However, it always connected me to a lesson, a person or something that has served me. And I think that's where we can be empowered in our investments today in the future, but also in hindsight and kind of repair those old wounds that might still be holding some coding for us. 

Emily: I totally agree. At times I've made wrong investments. I mean, to the tune of like 30 grand, which is not nothing, but at the time it felt sort of devastatingly wrong. I just made a $30,000 mistake and now my money mindset has shifted so much that I'm like, actually that was kind of a cheap lesson like that wasn't too bad. 

Katie: It's funny. You say 30,000 because my husband and I have been talking about, we've made it. I don't want to say bad cause it's not even complete. It just was in hindsight, like not the thing we would have done with our money and it was that number. And he's like, well, we learned a $30,000 lesson. I'm like, you're right. And we'll never do it again.

Emily: And we can welcome that money back. So like that's a practice that my husband and I have, and I want to hear about some of the manifestation stuff that you do with your husband, but we will, we have like a little ritual around money and we do these money dates every week. And like one of the questions. That we kind of prompt ourselves. Is there any money that we'd like to invite back? And it tends to be the money that we think was gone in a way that doesn't feel good. So anything that felt like it was a wrong investment or that the money just left and we didn't get anything for it.

It's like just energetically making ourselves available to invite that money back because like the money still physically exists. It didn't, it's not gone forever. It's not like we lit it on fire. It still exists. And why can't it come back to us multiplied. It really can accept that we energetically block it.

So, talk to me about some of the manifestation practices and some of the ways that you bring your husband in that co-creative energy into what you do. 

Katie: So, he is a spleen and explicit, kind of I say, a projector. So it's really interesting. And that I'm a sacred generator. So it's really interesting our dynamics together with his spleen in my sacral. And so for him, it's. He has to get very clear on what he wants. And then also, I will say sometimes it feels like our husbands are not as evolved as us spiritually, but they actually really are. They're just, if they men, they show it differently. So recently he's gotten really clear about his career and what he wants, and he was saying something. Well, it's going to take two years and I'm like, well, will it now I could pop in immediately. And I'm just like all airy fairy about it and not really putting any grounding to it. And he's, I don't even know. I think it just percolates with it in his head. Well, anyway, two weeks ago he comes home and he's like, I was having a conversation with somebody and they asked me what I wanted and I told them, and they were like. We have that, it's available right now.

He's like, "what the heck just happened"? So it's cool to see his belief in what's possible begin to expand. And then my lesson over the last few years has been to just release him and not try to control his evolution and journey. And then just be this flowy, feminine part of me. Trusting that he is going to be able to do it. And I think that's a big thing for us driven women to like, release our husband, to just go do his thing and trust that he's, he's got it. We don't have to control their growth or their process. And it definitely won't look the same as ours.

Emily: I love that so much. Have you always been in your feminine energy, in your romantic relationship, or was that something that you had to shift?

Katie: So, I am more of. like a masculine core, like strategy structure. That's me, for sure. The feminine side has always wanted to come online massively and I blocked it out of control. And so once I healed the control issue and just opening my heart again, like to actually be healed, by him spiritually, emotionally, physically, all of it. He really showed up and was actually like, I just kept sitting here. I just remember for years just being like, I just wish he'd do X, I just wish he'd do Y and it was like, he wanted to, it was just, there was that energetic block and the moment I really relinquished that was when the connection was able to be there.

Emily: I very much resonate with that as well. I, for years, had to be in my masculine because it only felt safe for me to be in control. And so, like my husband was willing to be in his feminine. And then now we've really been working to rebalance that. And I mean, not, it's not hard work, but it's just like, it's just more of surrendering and it's a shifting of dynamics and like being willing to meet each other where we're at now versus falling into the old patterns or the old habit.

Katie: it's crazy. Cause like when you look back and you kind of figure out the energetic roots of why you started your business, it makes all the sense. I started my business to provide something that I did not get like in childhood. And so it was a trauma response. We start our businesses in a way to respond to this, like internal battle. And so when you recognize that you can then start to kind of untangle the other things that relate with your business, the way you receive money, but also the way you receive love and affection from those around you, clients or your spouse. 

EmilY: Hundred percent. Okay. So I want to rewind a little bit, cause I wanted to kind of connect the dots on your journey. So you went to school for accounting. Did you ever get like a nine to five style job or how did things sort of unfold in your career and like what were you making at each of those steps along the way?

Katie: I always made decisions through the lens of where was the vision. So when you come out of accounting school, there's a couple of choices. You can either go private accounting or CPA, public accounting and CPA would have required me a fifth year of education. I was getting married and I was having kids. So, no, that was no, that was the plan. And also public accounting. You work crazy hours usually the whole year, but definitely for those four months of the year.

So that was out. So then I went into banking and did sales and banking entry, which was fun. So that, that brought in the sales thing. Then I ended up in real estate who worked for a real estate broker. I was hired for accounting, but it quickly turned into marketing and quickly turned into like the right hand of the CEO and like running all that.

So that was the place where I then started playing around with working from home where I realized, okay, wait a second. I'm working 40 hours a week in an office. But I get stuff done really quickly. So I want to be home with my baby. I was about to have my first born. She's eight, almost nine now. So I pitched the boss. I was like, "Hey, listen, I'm going to work from home. I'm going to do 20 hours in the office and I'm going to go home and work the other 20 hours". Well, I went home and the other 20 hours, I got it all done in the office. So then it's, you know, I'm on call at home, which is great. I get to be with my kid. And this is when I also started to play around in the online space and started to listen to podcasts and listen to personal development. And then you just kind of get in there and you figure it all out. 

Emily: And how much money were you making with the real estate agent?

Katie: Gosh, I think it was making 60,000. 

Emily: Okay. And you start to get this idea of, like, I got some time on my hands. I've always wanted to build this company. I always wanted to be a CEO. So, then.

Katie: Then, I started doing some, like VA operation stuff from home. So I start to see what I'm doing for this guy. And I started to play around with like, Upwork and all those different channels like that. It's just so weird because I didn't really understand what I was doing. But I could see the value in being a personal brand. So I started building that and then it turned into coaching kind of, I just wouldn't have defined it as that. And then the year I truly went into coaching was 2018. 

Emily: Okay.

Katie: That's been a thing. 

Emily: Okay. Was that the year then that you left the real estate agent job or did that have happened sooner?

Katie: That happened sooner. 

Emily: Got it. So you were doing some virtual assistant stuff and that sort of thing. And as you moved into coaching?

Katie: And consulting more strategic type stuff and then coaching.

Emily: Okay. Walk us through the numbers. I think this is always like the most fascinating part for the people listening to my podcast because, It's like sometimes we get a false perception of how fast things take off or how slow it takes or, you know, what the money journey really is. So tell us your money journey 

Katie: So, In coaching. It was really slow. Honestly, I wasn't the person out the gate at six figures in 2.7 seconds. So it wasn't easy. For me, money doesn't drive me. The impact that money can create drives me, but what drives me is the relationship and what I can help others create. So I had to realize that early on, like if I'm going to make six figures, most likely I have to go help somebody else make six figures. And that was the message that I got.

I remember clear as day when we switched the brand from one K mom, which is what it was at the time. I only could, really, it shows my belief in myself. I only believed that I could help somebody make a thousand dollars online. And also that's all I had done at the time. So that wasn't an embodiment. I was in integrity with that. And so I remember, like, having like this. Coming up to Jesus, It's normally like, quite literally drive, not appearing visually, but in my spirit, I could hear, "you will make six figures by helping them make six figures". And I finally released all this fear of like, you've got to make it first. You've got to invest it first. You've got to, whatever first, and then they will come and then realize that, no, I'm of service and I'm going to show up and help the people that are in front of me. And I help them win. I will then win because of that. 

So, that became my, like mode of operation. And sure enough, pretty quickly people came in. They're like, you know, can you help me get to multiple six figures? I'm already at six figures. Yes I can. But I don't think I would have said yes. Had I not had that moment a couple of weeks prior to this conversation. It's just interesting to look, that like I hit six figures and then multiple six figures when I decided to be in service to those in front of me and not in service to this ridiculous money goal that did not light me up. I love the money goals. But it did not pull me forward. 

Emily: Well, and I think what, you know, what you talked about as far as like, do I have to go first and then in order to be able to help people with it? I do think that that can really trip people up and it's like on the one hand, you know, we want to be in integrity with like what we're speaking about and kind of, you know, being the embodiment of that, but also like, depending on what kind of coach you are, like the financial result might not be at the forefront of it.

You know, it's like, if you're helping with systems and process and business scaling or things like that, it's like, they will make more money, but you're not exactly out there staying like, you know, I'm your seven figure coach. Who's made a hundred thousand dollars, which unfortunately we do see some of that.

Okay. So when you were the one K mom brand, that's what you were making was like a thousand a month. And then do you remember, kind of like year by year. How your business grew or what those numbers looked like?

Katie: 2020 was it definitely a multiple six-figure year? And I don't specifically remember the years, but that was a year.

That was huge for me, but also for every single one of my clients, we saw huge growth that year. And it required a lot of stabilization that came, that next year, 2021 was a year of like, okay, well, we just had, like massive growth, like let's stabilize and continue to grow. And then 2022, we've got over, like 150,000 just in recurring revenue.

Emily: That's so great. I love recurring revenue cause it's like, it's so nice on her nervous system. It's like, okay, we can be a little riskier now in what we decide we want to offer or the way that we run the business, because it's like the money is, it's taken care of. It's coming. I can trust it. I love that. Is there like a number that you're playing with for 2022, that would feel really good to receive?

Katie: Not really, to be honest with you. I'm not, like I said, I'm kind of not driven by it. So the moment it gets. I just am really aware of, like the way things feel in my body that I just don't play too much in that realm. It's more about service for me and just the heartbeats of the humans that come into my world and then the money kind of takes care. That's how I play with it at least. 

Emily: Well, I think it is really important to know yourself because sometimes. And I used to have this to where it was like anything stated like a goal sort of immediately felt like lack, like lack of time to hit it, or am I off track or how much money has come in? Okay. But I can't celebrate that because you know, it's not what the goal is. And so for me, I do play with numbers a little bit, but I hold on very loosely and I don't usually attach time to it because that helps it to feel interesting or curious or expansive in my body instead of like a contraction. So, you get to know yourself.

Katie: I'll get like hits of numbers and at the time does it come with it? But it's just like, oh, that would be fun to receive. Can we just use it, comes in, like that kind of thing, but it's not real. I'm not sitting here like crunching numbers. We bring in X amount of people, a little equal, blah, blah, blah. Right? That used to be me. 

Emily: Well of course you had the accounting background and then you worked in the banking industry and then real estate, like it's very. You know, these sort of masculine and logical spaces where it's like, oh, well, let's just do the math and figure out exactly what we need. And so I think for, especially for many of us women, that's like a piece that we have to, like recover from, in order to allow some feminine energy in like, what if life could actually surprise and delight you? What would that look like? 

Katie: So true. 

Emily: So what are, like some of the favorite ways that you play with manifestation?

Katie: So, for me, I'm a non-specific manifestor and human design. So like, it's more about the feeling. And so, like I said, when I get, like a little hits, of like, Ooh, that'd be fun. It's almost like this, like a carrot dangling in my field right here. I will play with it until, until it's just time to put it away, you know, until you start to kind of feel yourself getting into the, but how is this going to happen? Kind of a thing. And then that's when I released it in. I don't know, but the how will come. So I just like to be driven, moved rather by these little intuitive hits that come in that are like, oh, here's that?

Or I'll witness somebody else have an experience. And then my sacral kind of goes, oh yes, that's something you want. And then just to play, like for example, one of the things lately has been owning, like a beach home. And holding retreats there and renting it to other online entrepreneurs to hold their retreats there. So, that's been something that's just been fun to just play with, you know, and just, we don't have to figure out how or when, and just, or even where, cause there's a bunch of beach options. Just to be in the unfolding of it. And the excitement of that.

Emily: Yes. I totally feel that. And I've had something similar recently, too, where it's like, oh, like I can't wait for us to own some Airbnb properties in places that we also would like to visit. But it's like, there's no part of me that feels like it's time to take action on that yet. It's just like a fun idea and letting myself be in the fun and playfulness of it. And just like, curious about the way, and the when, that it will happen. But knowing that I'll know when it's time. 

Katie: Yes. That's it.

Emily: Totally, I feel you on that. Do you get your kids involved in any of your manifestation practices? 

Katie: They are so intuitive. It's insane. But I, let me think. My youngest, she has said, since we moved to Texas, we were in Florida and most of the homes in Florida are, like ranch style. And in here there's like mostly two stories. So one of the things she'll say often is, like "I miss Florida", I get into the reasons why she's like, "I don't like two story houses". And so now when we look at houses, I'm like, we're going to get a one story. So like, she is a part of, as co-creation for sure, with both of my girls, it's just, for me, it's about guiding them into trusting their intuition and helping them keep the thing that lifted for so many of us. And that is their connection to God that they have.

So clearly the words come out of their mouth. I'm just like, where'd you hear that? And to have them literally say, you know, God told me, or I told me, or I know this. You know, it's just, it's wild to witness and just support. But yes,  we, language is really important too, in the way that we communicate with them. And if there's something we aren't buying, it's not about 14. It's about choosing, we choose not to purchase this. So that's a really key distinction that I've done with them and tried to do. It's hard sometimes, because language is so ingrained on us. But it's a really huge shift. That's very simple to make.

Emy: I think this is like one of the most interesting pieces of motherhood for me, too, is just noticing how our kids don't have the conditioning and, you know, unfortunately, or fortunately, I guess like we're the ones that put that on them. And so, like you said, allowing them to keep their connection with source and everything, and they think everything's going to be an instant manifestation cause they want to just manifest through us. And then, so it is interesting when it's like, okay, they want the $20 thing. Of course we can afford that. And we're not always going to buy the $20 thing right away, just because. We could, because I don't feel like that's necessarily the most responsible thing for my kids. And yet I also still want them to feel so abundant and so open to possibilities. So it is this interesting dance of decision-making and our kids are always asking for things. Of course. So we get lots of practice. 

Katie: And it's really interesting to watch. I've got one kid that always feels. So like her conditioning, it's very much my wounding from it, from my childhood, but it's like, everybody else has it and she doesn't. So she's the one that gets left out and then the other one is like, so grateful. So happy go lucky, like just assume the sale and just so much easier. I just noticed this is going to be, like terrible to say, but like I just noticed my mama heart just like easily giving more to the one that's in that state. And so it always shows me. The state of gratitude that we're in. That's how God feels bestowing blessings on us.

Emily: Yes.

Katie: If we can just be in this place of like, I have everything and I'm full and thank you so much. And I'm also loving life and this is beautiful. I was like, okay, here's more, more, more, more, you know, meanwhile, it's just cool to see, just them. They're just incredible mirrors for me. 

Emily: It's so true. If you want to get me to say no to something, bug. Annoy me, you know, it's like when our kids are just like please, but can I please, please, please,  you're just like, no, like leave me alone. I might've actually been a yes, but now I'm a no you're annoying. And then the one that's just like, oh my gosh, it would be amazing to have this thing, like, and then releases the attachment to it. It's so true that you naturally want to fulfill that desire for that child.

Katie: Okay. So that's the best way to explain it. My oldest one, she will just like throw herself in my lap and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. But then somehow, I won't even notice it. My oldest will bring it up. She'll be like, how did she get there? The other one, like, so softly caressed her herself into my lap. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. This is just, I don't know. It's just crazy to witness the differences.

Emily: It is. It is. And I totally feel you, my children are both really different and it's like my daughter who is like, so keyed into fairness. In a way that is really triggering to me. If you look at the actual truth of it, I feel like she often gets more than her brother for a variety of reasons. She's older and so she earns an allowance. And so then she has more money to spend on things and all of this, but she'll be the first to point it out. Any time, her brother has something that she doesn't have. And it's so triggering for me. And also I know it's triggering because I have that in me. So it's like, motherhood is such a trip that way where you're like, why is my kid like this? They're like that because of me. Why does it bother me so much? Because that's a part of me that I still don't love. Damn it.

Katie: I get so fascinated by this stuff, because, so Valentine's day, this is kind of, off money topic, but Valentine's day the kids did like these Valentine grams at school. Did you guys ever do those growing up where you like, send chocolate, roses or whatever or candy? So I have this wounding that none of my family knew about. My husband didn't know. And he was in high school. My mom didn't know, but I never got a chocolate rose and I had a boyfriend, James Fleming. And so I made sure, my kids are in elementary school, but I made sure that they were gonna send it to all the girls in their class, dollar each kid. I didn't want anybody to be left out. Every girl got one times two children, my own wounding. Right? That was my energetic reason for doing this, which is probably number one.

But anyway, my daughter comes home from school and she's like, I only got one and Brenda got seven and I'm like, oh, prenup. It doesn't even matter who Brenda is. But to me in my wounded child heart, it was like the popular girl in the room. Right? And so I'm driving home and she they're both in the back crying. And then my other daughter realizes she got none. And so everybody's crying and I'm in the front seat crying, just trying to, like deal with my stuff before I respond. And I just realized how in this moment it was my opportunity to like go back to high school me. And like, repair all of that and then help her realize that, like, this wasn't about what you received. This is about what we chose to give. And I asked you this morning, did you want to give it to all the girls in your class? And you said,"yes". And so, that's the excitement that we got to give. What if you were the one somebody else received? Then to see her eyes start to shift, she started to light up and realize, you're right. This isn't about the fact that I only got one sour patch, not seven or whatever. And it was just, but I had to heal my thing so that I could show up for her healing. But her thing also triggered within me. And we got to have a simultaneous family healing.

Emily: Right. Yes. And that, I mean, like this is one of gifts of the motherhood. And I think, especially with our kiddos, like this age that they are, although it'll probably continue cause Lord knows I've got some unhealed business from middle school and high school too. You know, I feel like they're at this age now where it's like, they're just starting to come into self. My daughter is seven and you know, just being able to so easily see my inner child through her and understand the conditioning that happens and work on healing, my own inner child, and then like showing up differently for my daughter. I'm really grateful for that gift of motherhood and interesting from, like more of a money perspective, I was doing, like a guided visualization recently. Now mind you, the visualization did not guide me into this thing, but you know how sometimes you just start it and then you go on your own little journey and you get what you need.

So, the person facilitating it did have our inner child. Showing up in this visualization, but then the little journey that I ended up going on with my inner child was energetically giving her all of, like the key things that she didn't get that, like I'm still aware of right now. And it was so fascinating and it was so healing and there was stuff that came up that I had even suppressed.

So, I gave her the eclipse glasses when I was in fourth grade. And I didn't ask my parents. I didn't ever want to ask my parents for money because they fought about money. And so I wanted to be the peacekeeper. The eclipse glasses were probably like four bucks and they probably would have gotten them for me had I asked, but I was just like, whatever, here's the eclipse glasses? Here's 10 pairs you got them.

The class ring, did you have a class ring, you did? I did not have a class ring, but I remember looking through the catalog, knowing that there was zero chance that I was gonna ask my parents for this, but in my mind, imagining, like which stone would I pick? Which little icons would I put on each side of it? Because that was a very important piece of your identity. Right? Which icons did you put on your class ring? Do you remember?

Katie: I can't remember. Cause I don't give a shit about it anymore.

Emily: Right. I know it's like the dumbest thing, but to my inner child who didn't get one and I had forgotten about this until it came up in the visualization and I was just like, okay babe, like have the class ring we got it, done, like purchased in the quantum, check it, you check, check the letterman's jacket. And so it was so funny, like all of this stuff that came up and it felt, actually so healing, it felt like really healing in terms of, like money and manifestation to just actually go back and like energetically give all of this stuff that like 0% of me wants it right now.

I guarantee you, if I'd had a class ring and a letterman's jacket, I would not still possess them. I'm the person that just donates stuff that I don't want anymore. I don't hold on to nostalgic things. So it's not like I actually want one in the physical. But I just want that version of me that wanted it to know that like everything is available to her and she's got it. 

Katie: That's so cool. That's so cool.

Emily: So now if you go back and find your class ring, you're gonna have to send me a DM and be like I had the music note and I found.

Katie: I think I did have the music notes and the volleyball. I think that's what it was.

Emily: Okay.

Katie: But it's literally, I'll go look after this call. I know exactly where it is. 

Emily: I know right, where it is. 

Katie: That's so funny though.

Emily: So what was the music note? Are you in a band or do you sing?

Katie: Choir. Show choir.

Emily: So, I'm so jealous, I wish I had a great voice.

Katie: That's how we met. My husband and I.

Emily: He was in show choir too?

Katie: We met in, like a summer musical. 

Emily: I love that. 

Katie: Thank you.

Emily: So do you guys do karaoke? 

Katie: He's not that good.

Emily: Oh, what!

Katie: No. Just kidding. I don't mean.

Emily: Don't mean that good to do karaoke.

Katie: Well, he is good. We don't do karaoke now. We really don't sing that much anymore, like publicly. We sing in our house. 

Emily: That's what we do too. What is kind of public. Because my husband plays guitar, so, like we'll have friends over it. And then we ended up just, you know, playing our favorite songs and sing along. And like, my voice is adequate, but it is one thing where I'm like, if I had like my little magic wand. I'd give myself a better singing voice. Well, this isn't so fun and I love how these conversations just, like take on a life of their own.

But I actually love where the conversation took us because I know that so many people in my audience are mothers or desire to be mothers and want to kind of get this visual of, like what it looks like to be running a business and really showing up for your kids and doing the inner work. And I actually think that our conversation ended up giving a really good glimpse into that. And I also would love for everyone listening to be able to connect with you directly as well. So can you just share like your favorite places that you hang out on the internet? 

Katie: Yes. So Instagram is my favorite. Come and hang out with me in the DM.

Send me a message and while you're at it, take a screenshot of the show and tag Emily and tag myself, Katie Fleming, because we love. I mean, I don't know about you, Emily, but I love to reach out people. I'm gonna share this podcast and just get this message of the fact that money gets to be easy in our world and we can have the successful life and business that we desire. So come hang out with me on Instagram. 

Emily: Yes. And be inspired to live The both and life that Katie is a beautiful embodiment. So Katie, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you to everyone listening and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. 

Thank you so much for tuning into today's show. Before you go. I have something fun to share. Now, when you leave a review of the podcast on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube, take a quick screenshot and send it to hi@emilywilcox.com. You'll be entered into a drawn to win a free one-on-one. Voxer coaching day with me and you help the show reach more new listeners, such a win-win. I also invite you to follow me on Instagram at Em Makes Money and to jump into my free Facebook group, The Money Club, which is linked in the show notes. Until next time I'm sending you all the magic money vibes.


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