Episode 38: How Our Rockstar Spouses Support Biz+Life with Nekole Amber Eaton


Join Emily in a casual conversation with Nekole Amber Eaton on celebrating their rockstar spouses and honoring them for their incredible roles in their family and business.

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Transcript

The Em Makes Money Show,

Episode 38


Guest: Nekole Amber Eaton


Emily: It's like the strength to just be the grounding force. 


Nekole: Yes.


Emily: And the stability in the household, the strength to be the one, carrying a lot of the financial load and just doing it because it's what needs to be done. And that there's joy in providing for the family. 


Nekole: I love that. It's the quiet confidence of the strong man, men that we have and not needing to be in the spotlight and happily supporting us in the spotlight. What a beautiful combination.


Emily: Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so, so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to money wounds quiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent result. And if you're loving my vibe and want to work one on one to call in more feminine energy wealth. I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on social media or go to Emily Wilcox.com to learn more. 


I am here with one of my biz besties, Nekole Eaton. I've interviewed Nekole before for the podcast, but this time we wanted to have a more casual conversation about something that I think doesn't get talked about enough in our industry, which is really like the role of our partners, our spouses in our business and in our lives, just like how integral that is to us being who we are and doing what we do. So, Nekole, thanks for having this conversation with me.


Nekole: Absolutely. The timing is perfectly aligned. I'm so excited to be here and just chat.


Emily: And I just wanna share the context of this a little bit too, because you and I are in a mastermind together and what we both kind of notice through the help of our coach, is that the way that people perceive us on our social media and through our businesses. Is in such a way that there's maybe a natural assumption that like we are the superstar of our lives in all the ways. And we are, I will own that. I do feel like a freaking superstar. It can sometimes be perceived in a way that like, diminishes the role of our husbands and you and I have like, freaking amazing husbands.


Nekoke: Yes. 


Emily: That, you know, often we talk about like the woman who's doing it all. You're running a business, you're raising your kids, you're doing this. And I feel like we both have the kind of husbands where it's like, you could say the same thing. How the heck do you do it all?


Nekole: This is exactly it, we'll keep it PG, but we have like a little nickname for Mike.

We call him the mother F and dragon slayer, because he really does. It's like whether it's in the home, outside of the home, the kids, the cooking, like he can do it all. And it's in the day to day. Sometimes we forget how special that is, you know? I feel I, of the line that Melanie, our mentor often says, like, you wanna normalize this, but not desensitize it. And there's such beauty in that where it's like, we can be partnered with our equal, a rock star who can do it all and is behind the scenes supporting everything, keeping everything together, but just really remembering that like it's special, you know, it's really, really special. And I kind of moved through my waves with that as you know, in the mastermind recently where it was like coming back to holy crap, I have a, a gym, a gym of a partner. And without him, this road would look so different and I'm certain, it would take me so much longer to be where I am today because he's held so much space for us and me in terms of being able to invest my profit. From my business back into me, my growth, my development, my business, growing my team. And so just so much gratitude for these men.


Emily: Absolutely. I think in our industry often there is a stereotype of like, kind of a house husband who is, you know, maybe not earning the money, but is playing a support role, right? With the household and helping us feel like queens and that kind of thing. And I love that. I think it's a really cool. Redefinition. And so I think it's really important that anyone listening to this doesn't feel like there's a right way or a wrong way. But I think the thing that is a little bit more unique in our marriages is that our husbands are playing a significant role financially. 


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: And also doing a lot with the kids and also like Jeff cooks most of our dinners, I would say like 90%.


Nekole: My co, cooks all of our meals. Without him, I don't know. We'd all be out buying things constantly. So, And like you said, hold us financially. Without him, this whole thing looks completely different.


Emily: So, right now in this current season, Mike is taking care of all of the household expenses. And then what your business brings in is being reinvested.


Nekole: Yes. That's exactly it. And like I just said, it's just, it's incredible when we peel this back and we look at that like a man who is willing, you know, because there are partners who are like, I could do this and that, but it is a lot, it's a lot to do and hold. And so just honoring them for that because it's been a path. I mean, I, what I've been at this now for three years, little over three years headed in four years. And, and just, he's seen me through every stage. And not only just like, yes, I'll support you in this because I know it's important to you, but then like going above and beyond. And I wanna showcase how I see you in your power, you know, setting up this incredible photo shoot, everything.


So, while it may not be something that's typical or normal, like you said, especially in this industry, I think it deserves, as you said, the conversation and just to be celebrated. Because we've had the conversation of like, Mike's like, I don't think people know, you know, what it is I do. And he's like, and that's fine. And he's like, but I also feel like that could be reflected in our dynamic. And so what does it look like to have this conversation and not just celebrate them in the home, but celebrate them and talk about this and normalize this with our peers.


Emily: And like, it feels so good for me to be, like recording this as a podcast as well, because one of the things that Jeff volunteered and wanted to do when I launched my podcast is he was like, I'll always listen to the raw versions and I'll pick out like the quotes, that'll be like the teaser trailers and I'll write the show notes. He really wanted to be a part of it. And it was like this really special thing. And there was like, once or twice where there was something that I said in a podcast where I was talking about how I felt and like my experience in our marriage at certain points where I was the steady like, income provider while he was doing entrepreneurial stuff and like building things towards our future. 


But like he came back to me and he was like, is that really how you felt? His receiving of that was like that I really diminished his role. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Obviously,  like that was not the intent. And it was my truth at the time, which was like, I really felt like I was the one making sure we were okay financially. Now I know that a lot of that was like my own wounding around, like not feeling safe, if I wasn't in control of money. And so then I also like, really typecasted him.  


As being sort of irresponsible with money. And so I think part of like the really cool healing that's happened in our marriage is that in order for me to do what I'm doing in building my coaching business, it meant that another business that Jeff and I have where I was the CEO and I was in control and I was making all of the decisions, like I really asked if he would be willing to step up. And lead that company and he has, and so like he is holding us financially in that way. And also it's really giving me so much evidence to repattern my old way of looking at things, which is like, I'm the responsible one. I'm the safe one. He's, it's loose with money. He does whatever. And it's like, okay, well, is that actually true? Or am I willing to look at it from a different way and really see the ways that he's providing so much safety for our family? Well, I'm the one doing the quote irresponsible thing, right? Investing a F ton of money to be in a mastermind before my business was making that amount of money. 


Nekole: No, I think that's beautiful. A full circle moment, right? Where you get to switch roles and then. Deepen lean into the trust. Right? Because now, you're just created so much evidence that like, we are safe. Money is still coming in. We have a roof over our head. We have meals. He's holding it down. He's still make, like it works. It gets to work and you get to lean into your feminine and, and build something incredible that wasn't on your radar. Right? A few years ago. Couple years ago. It is beautiful. I love that so much. And we had the conversation around this with them, the surprise that, that Mike had put on from you guys.


This man, he went to great lengths to just create this incredible experience with the celebrity photographer and the night before he had planned this whole spa experience with me, in a really great friend. And then he, after the spa day, I got surprised at the penthouse suite in the Ojai Valley, which is this incredible resort. And I remember I came in to celebrate inside of the mastermind and I was like, you guys, this is like, this is incredible. I love this so much. It's the most romantic gesture. I can't even believe it. And also there's a part of me. That's like, how much money did we spend on this and there was this contraction, you know, like, I know he's got this, like he's held us through all of this. And also like, that feels like a lot. And Emily and I were having the conversation of like, do we trust them? Mike said to me, he's like, are we doing this? Or aren't we doing this? Are you a wealthy woman? Are we embodying? This is, this your next level? Let's go. And Emily, I'll let you just say like how that expanded YouTube.


But for me it was just that, like, we get to have these moments that are like, so expansive and still feel safe in them running, you know, the financial aspect and holding down the home. And, and just remembering again, that the roof is over the head. The, the meals are coming. We're still growing. Money finds us. We get to just really bask in, in the growth and the evolution of our business, of our relationship.


Emily: It was totally an expander for me. And like, even as you're sharing it, I can still feel resistance in my body. This is still a growth edge for me because Jeff and I's pattern in the past was like, he was the gas and I was the brake. And so there's a part of me that still feels scared where it's like, well, if I'm not the brake and we're both the gas, do we just drive off a cliff? And it feels great for a little bit until we realize there's no land below us. And then we free fall.


There is a part of me that still feels scared with that. And yet, and I think like for women, this is a, a difficult part of, like leaning back into the feminine and trusting and surrendering because it's like, we want it, like, we want our men to plan these romantic gestures. And yet like part of the reason that they don't, or they haven't is because, they pick up on our vibe of like, the criticism or the judgment or the worry. And it's like, if we can't really be in our full receiving of it, which I know that I'm so guilty of, then it's like, it doesn't really feel good for them to give it. 


Nekole: What's the point? Right? If we're gonna micromanage how they do it, what's the point of them doing it? I think that, that was beautiful, I'm glad that we're talking about this even more because the lesson continues to unfold in that where it's like, we have this conversation, I'm like, still sense that like, how can I lean back even more next time, something like this comes up, you know? And full body trust it because that's the very beautiful point. 


Emily:  So I would love for us to just, like riff on and share some of the awesome things that our husbands do. Just 'cause I, the way that I experience it is that it's so many of, like the little things that really add up like you and I were together on Sunday.


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: And we were gone most of the day and maybe a little longer than we had expected. And so, I had an hour and a half drive home. And during that drive, I was like, I'm gonna be getting back late on Sunday. And normally on Sundays, like Jeff and I will, meal plan for the week and we will order the groceries. And it's like, it's often a shared thing and sometimes one of us will do it or sometimes the other does, but it's not one of those clear things were, like one of us, it's one person's responsibility. And then while I was driving, I start seeing these little text notifications pop up and I realized that it's our Instacart.


I already knew that that meant that Jeff had already meal planned for the whole week and that he had ordered the groceries for it. And it was like, there weren't any words spoken it. He just knew that it needed to be done. And he did it and did it without any resentment of like, well you were just gone all day having a bougie lunch with your friends. And I was stuck at home with the kids meal planning for the week and, by the way, cooking dinner for tonight. And it just honestly, like, it blows me away that there isn't any resentment there and that he really just views it as, like part of the ways that he can support the household and, like be a great dad and a great husband. 


Nekole: I, so honor the men who just step up and do it, you know, and there's no story about it. It's just like, this is what I do. This is, I am a great dad. I am a great husband, you know? And it's funny because yes, we were together on Sunday and similarly something was planning out like that in our house where I live about an hour away from where we were meeting. 

Emily, you were further this time and so,

my kid just planned. Let me take the kids on a nice little hike. We'll get outside. Naya takes a midday nap. She'll be, like nice and calm. She goes down. He hung out at the house with Kai and then Naya wakes up and he packs 'em all up. And he goes to the grocery store, 'cause on Sundays typically we do grocery shopping, took both kids in a whole foods, did the whole bit. And then, you know. 


While I'm out having this great time, he's cooking a meal for all of us. And I remember like, 'cause we ended up having a really late lunch and I was like, I gotta get back. You know, I really wanna, he's cooking this really nice meal. And I pull up into the garage and it's just like, Hey babe, like welcome back. Did you have a good time? The plates were out, you know? And it's just like, oh my gosh. Oh my freaking gosh, you know? It's one of those moments and it's been a minute since I've really been out, that like I've had a couple of outings. But with Naya being an infant, I've really been at home a lot. It's a new experience for us because instead of one kid, now we have two kids and it's like, I'm getting back in the groove of being out with my girlfriends and socializing. And it's like, how is this all gonna go? What do I need to hold my breath? I come back in the kids. How have they been like, is this gonna affect the rest of the evening? And just to see what he's capable of holding and doing it, it's honestly super inspiring. And it makes me say like, and this was like the lesson that we've moved through lately.


It's like, what can I do? Once a day, just something small to show my gratitude and my appreciation, because it really is special. It really, really is. And I want him to feel that, and he hasn't always felt that from me, you know? I have allowed it to become a desensitized thing at times. And, and that's created friction. And so coming back to like, how can I show this gratitude and this appreciation for this, like amazing man that I have in my life and this, this incredible father. So that's the practice. 


Emily: I love that. And like, you know, when you're talking about what Mike's day was and, and what Jeff's day looked like on Sunday, like I also just wanna give the context that like our kids collectively are not at easy ages. You don't know what you're gonna get. And it could be like kind of a shit show of an afternoon where, you know, like JJ just sometimes decides that like his only volume is yelling. He's just gonna be trying to pick a, a fight with his sister the whole time that will end in like the two of them biting each other. And, you know? So like when you're talking about Mike, like going to the grocery store. With both kids and then cooking a nice meal. I mean, there are days when, like, for me as a mother, like just those two activities would be enough to take my cup down to zero. The cup is empty. I have no compassion or sympathy for anyone or anything.


Nekole: A thousand percent. And if I'm being honest, like I don't, if I have to go grocery shopping, which honestly is rare. This is how amazing my husband is. I'm like, I'm not taking the kids, I'm not doing it. You know? And so not to interrupt that train of thought, but just the consideration, because he knows it's like a year of Naya, in the nursing. And the waking up and he understands like, okay, mom just needs a moment of quiet. I'm connected to this girl at almost all times. And so just the willingness of like, I get. Let me take them. Let me give you your sacred space. It's everything.


Emily: Well, and I really believe that, like part of the natural return of the appreciation for Mike is intrinsically tied to you going out and socializing and filling your cup. Because I think like when you are a little bit in survival mode, it's more difficult to, like zoom out and appreciate these other people in your lives. But like, you know, when you grow out with a group of women in a group of other mothers, there will be talk about the husbands and what the husbands do or don't do. And my experience of that has always been that I return with the greater appreciation for Jeff, because like, not that there's an actual comparison game happening, but it's like when I hear some of the ways that the division of labor shakes out in other households. And I compare it to my own household, inevitably. It's like, I'm so lucky.  


Jeff is like such a freaking rockstar in all of these areas. And like, I think one of the things that's really special about our relationship is that like, it truly does feel like a team. It does not feel like a keeping of score. It's more like, how can we help each other? How can we help the family unit in just recognizing of, we both know what needs to get done on a weekly basis or a daily basis, and just working together to make sure that like we both are happy with it.


Nekole: That is the key. And honestly, I feel like Mike and I are like, evolving into a next player a bit, because if I'm being like completely frank, when I look back at like the last year, I definitely feel like I was in more of like an observer role, you know, like I'm running the business, I've got the baby, we're managing school with Kai he's in he's out. And there was so much happening. And again, just with, like Mike's ability to do things like I let myself kind of fall back from the team thing and really moving through this, this past month together. And the conversations we've had have really opened my eyes to like, where do I get to go? You know, now that I'm, like emerging from this infant stage, and I'm really like stepping into a whole new level of power, it's like, how can I contribute even more as a team member?


Because really that, that is so the key it's like, it's not the keeping of scores. It's not, I did this and I did this. And I mean, all that builds is resentment. You know, and, and a tearing of the foundation that you guys built, but really like, here's our vision, here's our goals. These are our life goals.

How do we contribute together? We, we are, we're both forces in this world. We're better together than we are apart. So let's put our super powers together. What do you need? How can I support you? That's just the energy, that's the vibe, you know, and everybody wins and having kids witness that is such a beautiful gift.


Emily: I totally agree. I'm really happy with the way that we're modeling it for our kids. It feels super special.  And, you know, I was kind of thinking about like, why don't I publicly praise Jeff more? And if I'm being completely honest, I do think that there is a part of me that wants to take credit for all of the good stuff that's happening in our lives. And it's weird because it's like, it's not in a way of, like that Jeff didn't do it. 


Nekole: Right. 


Emily: Cause I know that he did, but it's like, I think I am happier in the spotlight than he is. And so it feels a little icky to say that out loud, but I just, I wanna keep it real. You know, that maybe this is like part of a growth edge for me in the same way that like, I would share about the mentors that I'm working with and how important that's been in my journey. And it's like, when I think about that, it doesn't take away from what I've accomplished. It's like an augmentation.


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: So, why am I not shouting Jeff from the rooftops?


Nekole: I, no, I love this. Because now you have like me thinking, and I I'd say that I've been operating in a similar pattern too, but I honestly think the root of it for me was like learning to stand in my power and own the things that I have done because for so long it was like, no, no, it's nothing.

It's, you know what I mean? And really always giving that power away. And so along the journey, learning to stand it and be like F yes, I did this and own it fully. You're like, you forget that. And also, you know, it's just like.


Emily: Right.


Nekole: I did, you know. 


Emily: Right. 


Nekole: You know, but these things come in cycles and, and it's a beautiful lesson and remembrance because it fortifies that foundation, you know, and how special is it. That we get to have this conversation and the men get to listen to this back and just feel our deep gratitude. Again, we're better together than we are a part and everything that we've created together, you know, together so.


Emily: Yes, exactly. Any masterpiece, is not a solo effort. You know, and you look at all the academy awards, speeches and everything, and it's like, and it takes a whole freaking team because if the script is bad, guess what the actress isn't gonna win, you know, without the agent, without the director, without like everything. And the spouse and the nanny, and like all of the pieces of their lives that have to come together. And then I think the other thing for me that has created maybe a little bit of subconscious resistance for talking about this is that I feel like on social media in particular, like when we talk about our marriages, it ends up looking like a highlight reel. It's the once a year anniversary post or posting on their birthday or like when they do some incredible big surprise. And then nothing in between. It's like, it should go without saying like Jeff and I are about to celebrate our 12 year anniversary. Of course it hasn't all been magical and amazing, but I do think that that's a little piece of resistance for me. So I wonder if like, maybe we can talk about. You know, just also some of the challenges, even in really good marriages. 


Nekole: Yes. I know. It's actually funny. You mentioned that because you know, in parenting, Mike and I are actually doing a collaboration together this month, just about our path, like honoring our relationship as partners in parenting, you know, and the challenges and the struggles that we've moved through as a couple as partners in parenting. Right? Because it looks different. Pre kids, it's like, a cool. It's just us. You have no idea, you know? And then it's like, figuring out, well, who's gonna take this on and how am I gonna support you here? And I had this expectation that you would do this and it fell short and I'm feeling like this, and there's a whole new chapter, a whole new book on, like how to be together in parenting, let alone just together in your relationship. And so many ups and downs in that. But I agree. It's like these conversations will servs so many people, to just talk about the ride, the journey and not just the peaks, you know, the valleys hold a lot of codes and information and breakthroughs for us, if we're willing and courageous enough to have these conversations. 


Emily: For Jeff and I like one of the things that's kind of come up recently. Is just this idea of like, how much we've changed as individuals. So again, like married 12 years, you know, I think we were together two or three years before that. So, you know, we're talking about like a decade and a half here, and we've both changed in really good ways. And honestly, sometimes I'm in shock and awe, like our growth and evolution has stayed in a parallel path because it's, like pretty astounding. And it's like, one of the things that has recently scared me is really like tapping into where I feel. And I know my life is going and then feeling scared. That, maybe Jeff wouldn't be on the journey the whole time. And then I brought it up to him and he was like, I'd be lying if I said, I haven't thought about that. And I was like, what? The moment it popped into my head, I was like, so scared about it and was like, okay, we need to talk about this.  


Nekole: My God. Glad you mentioned it, actually.


Emily: I'm like, can we just have an agreement that like, if our mind is ever going to the place where there's a scenario that does not involve us being married to each other. That, like we have a conversation around that. But it's definitely feels like a growth edge for me to even like, bring this up and share it, 'cause it feels like, so vulnerable and tender. And it didn't come out of a place of, like, huge conflict. You know, it's like, it came more out of a place of like, there's this big vision and like really appreciating the bigness of the journey. 


Nekole: Yes.


Emily: And like, feeling like, Okay. Is this what Jeff signed up for? Are we still gonna be a match. At the end of this thing. And what if we aren't, could I handle that or would I wanna dim down my vision in order to make sure that the marriage is good?


Nekole: It that is scary. That is incredibly scary. And I actually feel like this conversation I've seen post around this in our industry, especially, you know, especially when you have relationships or dynamics where it is like the womans. Bringing in everything financially doing everything. And then it's like, there becomes this gap. Right? And in my time being in this industry, I've seen marriages that have been like, okay, here's the point? You know, here's the inflection point where someone didn't sign up for that, you know, they weren't on board for this. I think, I mean, it sounds like you and Jeff have been together forever too. Mike and I. I was 20. He was 19 in moments where it's like, holy moly, like, are we sustaining the growth of this? I think like if we made it past age 20 and 19, you know, like literally I was working at TGI Fridays, Mike was at a tanning salon. They laid him off because they were closing the shop. I was bringing home $20.


Emily: You got laid off from a tanning salon.


Nekole: You got laid off from the tanning salon. I'm bringing home $20 in tips like that was it. And it was like, Hey, we're going to Ralphs. We're gonna go and get the ling cuisines. It's 10 for $10 and we can get a gallon of milk. Okay. Sweet deal. This was our beginning. And I think like, with no emotional intelligence. No, like healing of past traumas. And when I look at that time in our life and our ability to make it through that shit storm. I'm like with all the tools and resources that we've gathered along the way, like we've got this so long as it's a desire, like we've got this and I'd imagine the same is true for you and Jeff, like you've made it through babies.


You've made it through building a freaking seven figure empire switching roles. Hiring a whole team. I know it's not seamless this transition with you coming into the coaching industry, but like here you are. And you're thriving and it's like, as long as you guys both desire it, you're good. You got this, you know?


Emily: Thank you for that. And it's so true. It's like, I definitely feel like the bigger challenges are in the rear view mirror. And I think one of the gifts of my mind going to that scary place is that, makes me emotional to think about it. But it's like, if we don't have our husbands and like, we don't have a happy family, it's like.


Nekole: What's the point?


Emily: None of it matters. 


Nekole: None of it matters.


Emily: None of it matters. 


Nekole: That's a beautiful reset button, you know? And then when you ask the question about like, you know, to give credit and the tendency to wanna stand in the spotlight and say all of this. And when you say what you just said, you know? And it's like, these are our people, this is what life is about. This is why we're doing what we're doing. Then gosh, you know, it really grounds us into like, everything else. Is it just extra? You know.


Emily: It truly, truly is. And I think, you know, we get to see that too. In the circles that we're in. Where there are women who seemingly have it all and they're working on manifesting their soulmate partner. 


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: They desperately want a family. 


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: You know, and it's like, we take for granted having it. And it's like, if we didn't have it, that would be like the thing on our vision board. Our heart's desire.


Nekole: A thousand percent, ever. And like that has always been, I mean, ever since I was young before I like met Mike. It was like, I wanna meet the love of my life when I am young. It was never about being a billionaire as the vision came later or anything. It was like, I know my soul's desire is to have this incredible connection with my partner.


We experience life together, the ups, the downs, you know, and we just so happened to be blessed to be able to bring two kiddos along for the ride. And they teach us just as much, if not more. And it's like gratitude every single day for this. This is it. This is the legacy. This is the beauty. These are the moments. And then, everything else is play. And we forget that we get to play together, you know? So grateful. 


Emily: What I'm realizing through this conversation too, is that I think because we did both meet our partners young, like I was 21 and I was just coming out of another relationship. So I wasn't actually even looking for anything. And it's like, I've never had a period in my life where I felt like my biological clock was ticking and I didn't have my person, or I've never online dated. I did not have to go through those experiences of wanting it and not knowing how to find it.  


Nekole: Yes.


Emily: And therefore it is easy to take for granted.


Nekole: Yes.


Emily:  That piece of things.


Nekole: Yes. Similar. I had come out of a long term relationship too and met Mike probably seven months later and I was not looking, you know, but it was like when, you know, you know, and so to grow up together, as you said, and to not have to want for anything, you know, in that department, like this was just your person who came in life so early. It's the greatest gift. 


Emily: And with our babies, like not having any significant hurdles. As far as conceiving. 


Nekole: Yes.


Emily: That's another huge one. I think we all know, at least someone in our lives that wants a baby more than anything in the world. 


Nekole: Yes. Yes.


Emily: And it's not happening.


Nekole: Yes. And honestly, like the whole experience of becoming a mother obviously profoundly changed me. And it's my work now because, the gift of being a mother and the gift of having children is, you know, I mean that, it's the topic for another day, 'cause I could go on for hours, but it's just anchoring in the gratitude for life and the people who make life so beautiful, so bright, you know, and even like, our friendship and our connection. It's like, oh God, this is, it's just, this matters. Our relationships matters. Most, more than anything else. It feels good. I feel like this should be like a thing, Emily. I think you're owed to something. I feel like every so often there should just be like a gratitude session where we comment.


Emily: Yes. 


Nekole: We celebrate what we have, what we've worked through, you know, the lessons that have come from the difficulties and just seeing each other in our human experiences and.


Emily: I think so too, like it's conjuring up so much gratitude for what's already there, which is amazing. And you know, we're not the easiest women to be married to.


Nekole: No.


Emily: And so I think sometimes it's like our spouses almost get typecast in a way of, like being the more submissive, like personality. Or just the more like, go with the flow or whatever in the relationship. And maybe they are like the more relaxed one. I think that certainly can be the case, but like, what I wanna acknowledge is that it actually takes a really strong man. To be with a strong woman.


Nekole: I feel like you need to say that one, one more time.  


Emily: Yes. Yes. It takes an extraordinarily strong man. Yes, to be with a strong woman. And that strength does not have to look like I'm the provider, I lay down the law or I'm the disciplinarian, like the ways that we were sort of conditioned to believe strong men looked.


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: It's like the strength to just be the grounding force.


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: And the stability in the household, the strength to be the one carrying a lot of the financial load and just doing it because it's what needs to be done. And that there's joy in providing for the family. No one's getting pats on the back every single month for paying the mortgage.


Nekole: No cookies have built us. Yes. 


Emily: Right. But if it wasn't getting paid, it'd be a five alarm fire.


Nekole: Exactly. No, I love that. It's the quiet confidence. Of the strong man, men that we have, you know, and not needing to be in the spotlight. And happily supporting us in the spotlight. What a beautiful combination. I feel like it just with any of us, I feel like in the hyper mind, our nature and our tenacity and our vision and our boldness, like, it would take a strong man for any one of us. But I look at me and I'm like, oh my God. Especially at the age of 20 and 19, we were kids. To find someone who could hold all of this at such a young age and rock with you through the ups and downs of life. I feel like we need to make an award for these men, you know, like how many years it's been, we've been together for, it'll be 14 years in March, married for nine this year. And it's just like bra freaking, Oh I applaud you.


Emily: Yes. 


Nekole: It isn't easy. It isn't easy.


Emily: I know. I just laugh at, you know, we had no idea what we were signing up for. And it's like, do you ever, when you're getting married, like you're saying yes to a life with someone without having any idea what that life's gonna look like and who that someone is going to evolve into. And I'm just, like, so grateful that Jeff and I's evolution has unfolded in like such a beautiful way where it's like, we continue to, you know, just so appreciate, like Melanie talks about the idea of movies, right? And it's like, we're the starring role in our own movie. And they're the starring role in theirs, but like we're the co-star and the fact that like year after year, we still wanna be in the same cast with each other in these co-starring roles. As the vision gets bigger, like at the heart of it, it's still the two of us.


Nekole: It's a gift to be chosen again and again. And I think that's the thing it's like. We said I do in the ceremony, but it is a choice every day to be in a relationship with your partner to evolve together. To become more together to solidify the foundation that you've built together. It's a choice. And so just the gratitude of, like having the opportunity to choose our partner again and them. Receiving that and choosing us. Day after day after day, when the clouds are dark and gray and it's rainy and it's stormy, they still look at you and they're like, I love you. And I still choose you. Even if you drive me, net sometimes, you know.


Emily: I know it's so special. So, I guess what I would love to invite people into. So, anyone who's listening to this, whether it's on the podcast, whether it's on the Facebook live, whether you're watching it on YouTube, if you're feeling inspired by this, I really would challenge you to write something up. About your spouse or your partner and the ways that they support you in your life, support you in your business, how important their role is, you can tag Nekole and I, and we would love to see that and help celebrate it.


I just think it would be really cool in our industry to see. So many more of these types of posts and just an acknowledgement of, you know, there are women doing it on their own, and that is so incredible. And there are so many of us that have this incredible person behind the scenes that's making so much of the vision happen. I'll be the first one. To be clapping on those posts. 


Nekole: Yes. I'm with you. Please tag me too, because as you said, Emily, it's time to normalize these conversations and give our partners the gratitude, the appreciation, and their little mini spotlight, because they deserve to be seen.


Emily: Yes. Well, I'm excited for the day when we get Jeff and Mike.


Nekole: I know.


Emily: Together in a room.


Nekole: And I have to say this. I actually think because, that table, I don't think Mike's seen the table that Jeff made, but it is Mike's dream to have a table like this. So the, they've got a craft. They get to talk about these. I can already see it. 


Emily: Yes.


Nekole: It's gonna be reflections.


Emily: They can talk, woodworking and they can talk about being married to us, crazy bitches and surviving it all.


Nekole: Exactly. 


Emily: So Jeff, Mike, we love you. We're so grateful for you. 


Nekole: Thank you for choosing us. 


Emily: Thank you for choosing us.


Nekole: Yes. 


Emily: We choose you. Again and again and again and again and again.


Nekole: Every day. All day. 


Emily: Every day, all day. All right, let's wrap it up. Goodbye. 


Nekole: Thank you. 


Emiy: Thank you so much for listening to today's show. Changing the way we think, feel and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that. It starts with you tuning in. And it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook and tag me at EM Makes Money. And you know, what moves the needle the most taking just a minute to leave a five star review on iTunes. This show isn't free to produce. So let's multiply those dollars invested to help this show reach a bigger audience each week. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it. And lastly, if you want more connection, more EM Makes Money style, rifts, and a safe place on the internet to talk about money, jump into my free Facebook group, the money club it's linked in the show notes. Until next time I'm wishing you health, happiness, and boatloads of money.

 

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