Episode 35: The Wealth Codes from $0 to $38M with Melanie Ann Layer

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Transcript

Welcome back to the Em  Makes Money Show. I am so thrilled. I have such a special guest here with us today. Melanie Ann Layer is the founder of the alpha femme brand. She is known for her unique approach to feminine leadership and wealth energetics from bankrupt and sleeping in her car to launching alpha femme and bringing in $38 million since its creation in 2017.

Melanie's shift is a testament to her work that now serves. All around the globe and this gorgeous human being happens to be my coach and mentor as well. So Melanie, thank you so much for being here and welcome to the. I love you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to dreams come true. You know, I'm like, I'm so happy to be one of the human beings that benefits from Melanie's work.

Emily: I'm so happy. I'm so happy that you are too. Yeah. As your bio alludes to you've had quite the journey with money and evolving into the kind of woman that can restate. Twenty-five million in a single year. You've got so many codes around money and wealth, and you've been so generous in the ways that you've shared them with us.

So I'd love if you would just kind of talk us through at a high level, like, what are some of the money wounds that you uncovered and healed along that journey? I think the biggest wound was. Like the victim perspective that I was not available to receive money, like the laws of the universe, somehow didn't apply to me and anytime anything bad would ever happen around money.

Melanie: I really kept it as that. Of once more being right about the fact that that was true. And I wore it like a badge of honor at the poverty thing. And I think a big part of the reason for that is the beginning of life that I had in a lot of the conversations that I was a part of. It was like rich people were not very nice people.

And, you know, having your parents home was a privilege. You have. Over having rich parents, you know, I was lucky my parents were at home. We weren't rich, but I had great parents when the rich people, well, who knows what they're like. And, and, and a lot of the movies I'd watch, even as a kid, like the rich people or the bad people in the movies, it's always that way.

And the poor people, they like. They're romantic. They have these incredible moments there they're deep and they're passionate. And then the rich people are these like villains every time. So I think that being the victim to money was safer to me than potentially becoming a villain. Yeah. Yeah. And what happened, I think is I got to the end of my money and my life fell apart and I realized that I didn't feel like a better person having less than.

And I just wondered what it might be like to just have enough to not have to worry about it. And I remember one of the first conversations about money, like an internal voice that I had. That was like, made me think and made me question was like, what if being rich just means not having to ask money for permission?

What if it isn't about money? What if it's just about everything that you truly are, you get to have, and that you don't have to ask money for permission? What if it only becomes not about the money when you don't need money anymore? As a matter of fact, it's more so about the money when you don't have.

And I was like, okay, well, let's try that on. What would it look like to just be free from my identity is built by my. Everything. What, where I eat, where I go, the countries I've seen basically the memories in my mind, who I am, that's based on how much money I've made. So do I even really find out who I am until I'm financially free?

And that was the first reason for me to actually be interested in money, was to find out who I am. And it was not a power thing. It was not a trying to prove it thing. It was not a struggle thing because the beautiful part is. Because I realized when I went bankrupt and I lost everything that I really didn't need money to be happy, but it didn't take away my joy.

Like it didn't take away anything. It just, I just had no money. So when I met Kevin, we both didn't have much money. And like I say, we fell in love. We had minimum wage and romance. Like that's all, that's all we had. And I was so. And we had no money, but there's things I wished I could do with him and see with him.

And those things were limited by money. So I was like, what if there was just no limit? What didn't I be the same person? And what I found out is like with the process of becoming who I am, I've become a better person along the way, just with the intentionality and the desire to be. But fundamentally I didn't have to change who I was in order for the money to come.

I just needed to invite it a strong belief that it would be good for me. And that the laws of the universe supply.

Emily: I love that so much. And you know, when you talk to me about this concept of really getting to know yourself, right? Like that, having more money or the absence of needing to ask money for permission really allows you to explore yourself in a new way. That was so meaningful to me. And I didn't realize that that was something that came to you really at the beginning of this whole journey. 

So I'm curious, because for many people, myself included when we allow ourselves to start to dream bigger, And really have some desires and dreams. So you're in this place where you're dating Kevin, there's a lot of romance, but you start to think of all the experiences that you could have. If there were more money. I think for many of us, those dreams and desires immediately feel like lack in our body. How do you coach women around really holding the vision for the dream and the desire, but not having it feel like lack in your body, which then creates so much distance between you and…

Melanie: That's such a good question. A big part of it for me is I really listen when there's sentences that make it so mainstream that everybody says them a question them, like one of those statements is money. Can't buy you happiness. So many people have said. Rich people have said that. Why would they say that there was this thought, like, let's say I was in my old relationship where our problems were fundamental like we were not a right match. Would adding money have actually changed that relationship? No, it wouldn't have changed the cheating or the lying. It wouldn't have changed. The lack of respect. It wouldn't have changed that it would have just changed that maybe we lived in a better house or we went on better trips.

Or we had a better sense of style, but it wouldn't have changed the relationship now in a relationship like the one I had with Kevin, where we could just sit underneath the stars and talk for hours. Would it change our relationship to have money or would it just mean we may be sitting in some incredible country where the stars look brighter instead of on the back porch of our tiny little place in Toronto, you know, would it be that when the check came, we didn't have to stop talking to figure out how to pay for.

That it would just get paid as the conversation kept going and we'd continue talking on the car, ride home all the way home. Would it be that right before Christmas, when the car broke down, we would have to choose between the Christmas presents. We were going to buy each other or making sure that we could continue to go to work in the new year and make decisions like that.

Like, those are the parts, but our love for each other was there and our acceptance and our care for each other. It was so present that money would have made things better, but it wouldn't have changed. And that's where I started to really understand. If you don't get to a place in your life where you're genuinely happy without the money, when the money comes, you're going to start focusing on the parts of your life that aren't good enough. And what a shame that is because wouldn't it be great. Instead if when the money comes, you've got everything else in place and you get to just celebrate everything that you built and everything that you've done. And it's like, just add money that that's, the vibe is build the life of your dreams. Clean up your emotional state, learn to be a person you're proud of. Love your life in its simplicity and its lack. Find your path. And then add money. That's the magic. I'm the money. First you've got to spend the rest of your life, become a better person. I prefer the other way. So I just started working on both things at the same time and I became a better person in the process and the money was growing in the process.

And now it's like that cliche statement of having it all. I have it all because it didn't just focus on making money on my journey here. I focused on the teaching, the, you know, the feminine energy energetics I teach in femme fatale and the leadership I teaching off at alpha. And it wasn't just the money and the business.

It was the woman who owns that business, who I am like the making of Melanie on layer, not just the making of. 

Emily:  Yeah. And it sounds to me like essentially rightsizing the lack, right? Like if you're like, well, if all I lack is money and that's this one little piece that gets to add fun, but I can focus on everything else that I have, then it doesn't register in your body as lack in the same way, righ?.

Melanie:  Exactly. But if I think that money is the key to my. It's going to feel like lack. And then by the time I get the money, I'm going to have a very rude awakening also. 

Emily: Yeah. I know. I wonder with people that have cracked the money code first, right? Like tiled actors and, you know, we have a lot of examples of people that for whatever reason, or are born into a wealthy family like, I look at that as you've really cracked the code on receiving overflow of money without having to work hard for it. Yeah. And yet there still is a sequence of other codes. And so there's working on being a person that can find worth and value in yourself and in the world and in your impact and have healthy relationships and all of that. So I really resonate with what you're saying about like, if we crack all of those codes first, right. And then the money comes. It really is a beautiful sequence. 

Melanie: It is. And I have to take into consideration that like, when I have kids, they will have the money code first. Yes. It's going to have to be a very important part for me to say, okay, they won't need to figure out how to make money, we're going to have to focus on being extraordinary people. Then that's going to have to be the thing. I think for a lot of people, because. They have money and they haven't yet maybe found the personal development world, or they haven't really been a part of communities that prioritize this kind of work. They think they're good because they've got the money. And that's where we see all the stereotypes of the mean rich people are often from the rich people who are born with money, who never did the internal work. That's what it is,  but this new paradigm of people who are bridging this gap from poverty to wealth, I think this, this is changing the world on a major scale. People who are actually born with no money and then transitioning into this, cracking the code at some point during their life, and then understanding and being able to hold the understanding of wealth and poverty, that is such a gift that duality gives us so much with. But not everyone has that, or they have it the other way. They're born into richness and then they lose everything and then they achieve their wisdom.

 So now for us entrepreneurs, our journey and where it's going to be important for us is to create a generation that's born into money that actually understands the importance of life beyond money. That's going to be our job for the next generation. 

Emily: Yeah. Talk to me more about that, because I know that there have been points in my life where I was worried about this hypothetical scenario, where my, where my kids got the silver spoon, so to speak. Obviously, this is something that you've thought about probably you and Kevin have had discussions around it. And I think often there's either not enough care and thought put into it. Or it's almost like I see parents retraumatizing their children by really wanting them to have to go through the same struggle feeling like, well, that's, what's going to make you into this person, right is you need to learn how to make money.

Yeah. Let's, let's dish out some hard money wounds here to our children who don't really even have to have that as part of their curriculum. So I'm so curious to hear what your thoughts are on this. 

Melanie: Oh my gosh. Your questions are awesome. So we have talked about this and obviously. It's one thing to talk about it. It's going to be another thing to go through it. Yes. It's always easier to parent hypothetical children. 

Melanie: These hypothetical children of mine. They're fabulous in my head, these kids, they listen to everything I say it's. Okay. So what, what we know for sure though, as you saying, like re-traumatizing, the kids is something that a lot of people do, even without the money. If a parent has lost a parent, it's like, you need to understand the pain. You don't understand, like you have two parents.

I want to show you what it's like, you know, or we lived in a tiny house. If this bad things happening to you, you need to really be okay with this pain because I've been through pain and I've watched parents do that. I've also received that in my life. And I don't think that that is the case. That's not the reason. Same as when I'm coaching a client. I don't hope she goes through the money pains I went through. I believe she can calibrate to my understanding with the right communication intentionality. 

So what I believe is that what is lacking in these cases is just more forethought, more actual prioritizing of the things that you want to prioritize instead of trying to create cause and effect, making it more of a conversation making it more like what else is there? 

So I imagine like one of the things my family and I do is at Christmas, we sponsor families who have gone through something really difficult and we buy their Christmas dinner and that we buy Christmas presents for all of their kids. And we wrap all the presents and we take the presence and this is such an incredible thing that we get to do. And I would want to involve my kids in doing something like that. You know, when we did Queens of the internet. So I did for every person who donated $111 on top of their donation, they received a crystal water bottle and my entire family came together. We had to wrap all these crystal water bottles and ship them all over the world. I would want to involve my kids in that kind of thing. 

I want to have conversations about inequality. I want to have conversations about privilege. I want to have conversations about poverty. I want to have conversations. And then I also want to do something about it with my kids, so that they are firsthand experiencing. They're privileged. And the matter of being able to do something about it, instead of being in there on the receiving end of it, but not by retraumatizing them, by giving them a sense of responsibility of what they can do to make the world a better place.

And that I think is going to be the key. The other part is not making everything about money. So Kevin had said to me, if we tend to get to a place where the kids would be the priority for you, I don't want to have them. I agree. My business has changed throughout the years and it continues to evolve, but on the day where we do decide to be parents, I want to be able to be able to focus on my kids. Not, oh, moms busy moms, busy moms. That's not going to work for me yet. I don't want that. I won't give up on my business and I want to continue growing it. But I want to go to places where we have no wifi. And we'd just go play. I want to build, you know, pillow forts in the living room with my kids.

I want to be present. I don't want to just, just be a career woman and there's a nanny or, or Kevin raising my kids. I want to play with them. I want to have them feel loved and alive. I want them to feel what matters. And one of the things I think is that historically you have time or. Yeah. So the parents who don't have money, they stay at home with their kids. They love their kids. They teach their kids valuable lessons. The parents who have money, they're not available. They're busy. They have nannies. The kids grow up without their parents. I'm excited to bridge that of saying you build a life with so much wealth that you get to be a present parent, because I think that's the new paradigm.

Emily: Amen. And I'm so excited for you to be a mama cause you're going to be amazing. And I feel like there's going to be some incredible programs and teachings that come out of all of it too.

Melanie:  I look forward to it. 

Emily: So last thing on this topic, do you feel like it would be important for your kids to understand how to earn money?

Like do you feel like inherently, they need to know how to make their own money? Or do you feel like that's part of the gift of the legacy of this work? 

Melanie: I think that getting to know my hypothetical children is going to be the key to knowing that answer because there are some people who really just want to be a wife and a mom and they don't want to work. There are some people who are very drawn to traditional education and want to have a good job, a solid education and get a job as a CEO of something, you know be a doctor, a lawyer that, that sometimes dwells in the child for others. There's the entrepreneurial spirit. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. There's the pop star rock star spirit. So I think that it's difficult to answer that question because it depends what they want to do, but what I see myself bringing forward with my kids is an opportunity for them to try the entrepreneurial world sooner rather than later, to see if that's something that they would like to do if they love school and they want to be academic, like that is incredible,but if they have that little hustler spirit, you know, I'm not going to make them feel like that's not good enough. Yeah, I'll just be open to what their passions are and if they want opportunities at lemonade stands or, you know, whatever it is that they want to do, I will be their greatest cheerleader, but it'll just depend what they want. And I want to be really present enough to be able to tell what they want versus what I want. 

Emily: Yeah. I love that. Okay. So I want to rewind a little bit and go back to this point in your journey where you started to say, you know what, let's try this on for size. Let's see if adding money to this equation actually is a good thing versus the old conditioning that I've seen, that it's not a good thing. It makes families fall apart. There's no romance when there's money and all of that kind of stuff. And I've heard you talk about you started making money and then you got to this point where you made a shift to start living ahead of your money. So talk to me about what that meant to you and what your spending behaviors were kind of before that shift and then what got to change.

Melanie: Okay. Perfect question again. So when I first started saying like, well, let's try this. Let's see what money can do. I had no concept or understanding of building wealth whatsoever. This was not about becoming wealthy. This was about having money, which was still light years away from the situation I was in. But I would imagine if I had money, what are the cool things I'd be able to do? And it was mostly for people I could pay for my sisters semester. I could help my brother with his student things. I could wipe my parent's debt. I could take Kevin's parents on a trip. I could take my parents on a trip. I could pay back something with someone owed someone that was making them stressed.

I could be the one that buys all the Christmas presents, so no one needs to worry about it and we'll make them from all of us, but I can take care of it. And it's not a problem. I can make people feel important. I can make people feel special. I can buy people what I want them to have. I can go to beautiful places, make memories more romantic. So it was all about spending the money I made. It was like money equals doing. That was what money was for me. What are all the beautiful memories I can put it in.  So how could something that brings so much joy to me and everybody around me? How I'm giving everything I've got, my life is a masterpiece.

I'm constantly making everything better for everybody. How could this be bad? Now, there was a day where Kevin said to me, I want us to start living ahead of our money. And I said, what does that mean? And he said, it means that instead of spending on whatever we want and then making the money to pay for it, we have the money and then we decide whatever it is that we want to do.

So it still wasn't about becoming wealthy. Instead of saying, oh, well this trip ended up costing us 10,000. We've got to make 10,000 now because it's on our credit card. It's like, we've got 10,000, where do we want to go? And that changed the game also because what we realized living ahead of our money is that sometimes it felt good to just do a smaller thing and have money leftover. And that's something we'd never had before money leftover, it was a foreign concept and I'll never forget the first time at the end of a month, we did the books and there was $10,000 left over. We're rich. Like we are so rich, this is insane. And then a hundred thousand dollars and then a million dollars.

And there's this feeling of like building a net worth right now. What I realized in this process is there is never going to be enough money to make a person feel circumstantially safe. So if you're not building wealth for the right reasons, and you're trying to build money to feel safe. So that one day you don't need to worry, that amount will never come.

This is why there are literally billionaires that are still going to work in the morning because they have more money than they would ever need to pull the plug on everything. But that feeling inside of like, we have enough, it does not exist. So what needs to happen is what's the energy. Where I can hold the frequency of money and my life together. What's good for me, my family, my wellbeing, and the wealth, all of it all at the same time, because there never comes that moment. You think like, I've done enough, I'm done it. Doesn't come. There's always a feeling. What if it goes, there's always a feeling because money changes how it feels like a hundred dollars.

It feels like a thousand dollars feels like $10,000 feels like a hundred thousand dollars, feels like a million dollars. The experience of money changes and the emotion of money. So, no matter how much you make, you'll find a dream, a goal, a wish, or a thing that matches that price point. You'll find a coach at a higher price point, a house at a higher price point a car at a higher price point a trip at a higher price point. There's always going to be there's a world beyond every world because every time someone achieves that world, they want to create the next world. So you realize once you enter the money game, that if you're not very conscious with your wellbeing, your state of mind and your heart, it's very easy to lose yourself in this race to nowhere.

And that's the important thing is to stay connected to not just the success, but who you imagined you would be when the success came. Why did you start doing this? Don't forget that don't lose sight of the woman you thought you'd be, because you can keep pushing her back and back and back attached to more, never enough. It's so easy to get lost in that. 

Emily: Yeah. So much truth there. I'll tell you, everyone listening, this is why it's so important to be surrounded by people that are a few steps for 10 steps ahead of where you think you want to be because there is so much wisdom and everything Melanie is saying. I've experienced it myself like the first time I had a hundred thousand dollars cash month, it felt really bad because I had made it mean something so different than what money could actually provide. I thought I would feel like I had made it, like I was successful. I thought I would feel more rich than I did, like all of these different things. And then it was like the money came in and the feelings, the feelings didn't change. And so then to hear it from you, right. However many fictitious steps ahead of where I'm at. It's like, it's just the reminder to do the inner work along the way and become the person who feels successful just because she is, feels worthy just because she is, feels safe, just because we know how to create safety inside of our own body is because money can't give us those things.

Melanie: That's why, if you work on that and then you just add up, you're golden. But if you think that money is the gateway to those things, it's a long road to nowhere. 

Emily: Yeah. So when you started living ahead of your money, this is a question that comes up all the time. So I want to zoom in on this piece a little bit.

I imagine that there were moments. Where it required a different level of self-discipline than what you had been doing previously. So let's say that there was something, you know, to the tune of a thousand dollars, whether it was buying something for someone in your family or paying for something. And it was like, okay, well, in the past we would have just pulled the trigger on it and then found a way to cover. Now in this time, maybe we have to wait a moment, like take a beat, get the thousand first. And for so many again, that almost registers as lack or a losing sight of why you're really doing it. And so, did you have any sort of mantra? Were you able to connect into the feeling of what it meant to live ahead of the money in a way that helped you feel really aligned in those little moments?

Melanie: So what really helped me is knowing that I was living ahead of my money for Kevin. He felt safer when I did it that way. And although there were so many things that I wanted to do for other people. Kevin is my people. And if he tells me he feels safer this way, then I'm going to do that. There's also a level of care for like my partner and his feelings are, that really helped. But the other part of it, which I think is like a really important piece of the puzzle is the intentionality. How I moved that in my mind is to say, instead of it just being like, oh, I can help. I'm helping. There was this feeling of. I want to help. I'm going to help. How am I going to do it? How am I going to present it? What's a month, what's a month to pay for the student thing? Like, how am I going to present this? How am I going to say it? How am I going to do it while I'm building the money? My energy is in tangling with this amazing reality where I'm. Drop this news and it's going to be really amazing and I'm playing the scenarios in my brain and like, am I going to write it on a pen, a letter? Or am I going to say it over dinner? How am I going to do it? So what I did is I used the time instead of feeling like I was putting time between my desire and the achieving of it. I took the time to create intentional moments and memories around money. So even when it works, it was things like, let's say there's a new restaurant.

We wanted to try what was like, okay. So let's plan the perfect evening. What will it be like, how will we do it? Let's really get intentional about it. Let's put it on the calendar so I can get excited about it. What will I wear? And I turned it more into being excited to get to things, the journey towards things. And even now, like we were at a place where it, money is not an object anymore. You know, there's anything that I want. I could go, I can pay for it cash right away. Yeah. But I still prefer the feeling of like, let's make it amazing. Like for Christmas I bought Kevin and Cadillac. I could have bought him a Cadillac. Any moment I could have said it any day, let's go get a Cadillac. But we had just bought a Lamborghini in the summer. We have never had beautiful cars before. Like I had a specific, I slept in and then we bought a Ford when we first started dating and we've had that Ford ever since we left it at every airport and drove it around the country in the U S like, we beaten this thing up, like crazy. 

We've never had beautiful cars this year. We wanted to buy beautiful cars. G wagons take two years in Canada before you can get them. So we managed to get so the cap, so the Lamborghini for me, and then it was like, do I just buy him a Cadillac or do I create something really amazing where I'm putting the space of four or five, six months where at this point $10 million comes in that span of time. But I give him a key chain for Christmas and the key chain is for the Cadillac with a big red bow on it. And like that’s even better. So I found a way to create space without lack, like not arching time to laugh, but instead attaching time to like, I have time to create this meaningful moment. That's so much better than just let's go by Cadillac, which is equally cool and amazing. And it's a vibe within itself, but this is the way I've found to make putting time, not a lack things.

Emily:  I love that so much because it works so perfectly with all of the teachers who teach on law of attraction and things like that. But when they talk about just holding the vibration or holding the vision, sometimes it feels like well, but how, and this feels like such a tangible example of how to hold it. And not only just hold it, but actually like have the energy bill. Yes, the building of the energy has been the best part for me.

I've realized the more excitement, the more joy, the more gratitude I have in my body when I do the thing, the better, the more intentionality, you know. If I get excited about something and then I. It's frequency is so different in my body than just like I had the idea and I did it and it's done the buildup. And then it's like, at anything, you know, when you're in a moment of intimacy that up, it creates such an incredible release. And it's the same thing in life. Is it fun to have immediate gratification? Yes, but when you learn the art of the buildup, you never go back. Honestly, I could choose, I could choose immediate gratification on anything that I want now, and I still choose the buildup.

Emily: Ah, I love that so much. So I'm curious, hearing you talk about the things that you fantasize with money like helping family and then wanting to make Kevin feel safe. I wonder just knowing a little bit about you and your birth order and the way that, you know, kind of took a mother role in your family. Do you feel like some of that initial motivation, like was kind of a trauma response, so to speak and if so, was there a point where you did some healing around like allowing yourself to receive or just wanting it because you want it not because you're taking care of someone else. 

Melanie: Yeah. It was definitely a trauma response. I think that everything we become originally is a trauma response. I could have just as easily become a very selfish person that doesn't want to help anyone as a trauma response. There is something to be said about who you are in the depth of your soul, that it changes the trajectory of the trauma response.

So it's like, yes, it was. And I'm grateful for who I was. That's the response I had, B=but the thing is there was a breaking point for me, where I went into a total victim mentality later on in my life, after I'd done so much to help. And after I'd tried to be such a good kid, and then it felt like life was just happening to me and bad things were happening and it was not fair. And then I went into the super victim mode and I was very rebellious of all the rules and all the things. And this is how my life started to go downhill. So it's like I did the whole doing everything for everyone in order to be validated and loved. Then I did the whole pulling the plug, not letting anyone connect to me, punishing everybody in the name of being the victim of everything.

And then there was the moment where I was left alone with myself and there was no one to be responding to other than me, there was no one to blame. There was no one to point fingers at like, it was me in the front seat of my car, in the cold. And it's in those moments with myself and in choosing this personal development work that I realized that self-responsibility and taking ownership is something that I never had done in my life.

It was always about fixing things, breaking things, altering things. It was never self-responsibility. And this is the journey of reclamation of my own power. All of those things that I realized I was actually good at become a journey of my heart and not trying to be validated. I have a brother and a sister who are extraordinary people and neither one of them need to do anything for me to love them. And neither one of them need to do anything for my parents, for them to live. And I'm aware in my grown woman-ness that I would not need to do with thing for them to love me. And I love making them happy. It's like a huge part of what makes me happy. And I feel like somehow I've become the path of least resistance for money in my family.

Everyone believes that I can make it, and so I do, and then everyone gets to benefit from it, but we all have different rules. My sister is the life of the party, and my brother brings the calm energy and the wisdom and make sure everybody's on the same page. And my mom's like the young youthful, childlike energy that makes sure that all of our traditions happen. And my dad is the energetic provider, making sure that everybody's doing what they're supposed to do. And we all take our roles really seriously. And in our adult world, everyone's way helps everyone. And I'm just grateful that this is my superpower and their belief in my superpower makes it even easier to tap into. And my belief in their superpower makes it easier for theirs to keep going. And it's like, we support each other with our belief in each other and ourselves, which now comes from a healthy place.  There was a lot of healing around my family to get here. 

Emily: Yeah, it's so beautiful. And I love the way that you openly share about your family and the way that you talk about being the path of least resistance for money because this is something that I see so many women needing to heal in order to really step into this superpower. And I know for me too, like I always had a feeling of like, yeah, I can do it. And I want you to do it to you being my spouse. And there is something so freeing about just owning the fact that you might be someone else's path of least resistance.

And can we all step into our own superpower and recognize how there is a synergy. We don't need everyone to be the money person.

Melanie:  Like what are we going to do with it? You know, like this is a thing with me in Kevin. Before we had no money, we were great together. And then all of a sudden I broke through in the money, but he kept the frequency of romance and he kept the frequency of everything that ever worked for us. So now we have all the magic, the romance and all the things we had before and access to whatever we want. And we have this elevated experience of life, but I'm not going to discredit who he is, which is who he was when I met him and say that that's.

Important than what I'm doing now because I didn't believe that was true when we met. So why would I believe it's true now? It's not everyone's gift on earth to make money. You feel it inside when it's something that you want to do. It's okay. You know, for the longest time in my life, I didn't really care about money because I thought I had to. choose. Money or being a good person and being happy. And I would have chosen being a good person and being happy every time I would not choose money over wellbeing, quality of life, love romance. I would not. Now that I realize that I can have it all, that means it's so important for me when there's people in my life that hold a frequency that's different than money. They are the most important people in my world because they make sure I have it all. 

If I just have money for me, money for my partner, money from my parents, but then who has what else. So I feel so grateful to tap into Kevin's romance superpowers, and my mom's childlike wonder superpowers. And my brother's wisdom superpowers because I have it all because we are all able to just focus on what we're really, really good at. And we all benefit from it. I will be on the path of least resistance with pleasure, and I'm going to empower everyone around me to be what they want to be. Kevin is a romantic, magical lover, and I am so grateful to have him. And I would never exchange that for him being good with money. It is not important to me at all. We have what we need. And I think that when we we say like, if one person per family cracks the money, and at one person per family makes sure to always invite everyone over and make sure that you keep doing the family thing. That's the magic. It's not about. Well, I figured out how to do this. You should too. It's like maybe you've got something to teach me. And when we can really look at each other and honor each other for our gifts. This is another thing a lot of people experience with rich people is like, they look down at people I've managed to be rich. You're still poor. There's something wrong with you. When in fact it's like, this is the code I've cracked, tell me about what makes you happy because you might be able to teach me something. And then I have more of the same, More of the same, more of the same, more of the same. And then we have all the money we could possibly wish for. And we realize how much we're lacking.

Emily: Yeah, to me, it's a code that you have really around taking money off the pedestal. 

Melanie: Yeah. It's just, that's one of my skills. Like everyone else has skills and if they wanted to learn this one, they could, because it's just a skill. Yeah. When we talk about Kevin not needing to earn the money, he does play a really important role in your business and in your life as it relates to money.

And so I want to segue into this question around, like talk to me about your money team. Who helps support you with money? What does that look like now at this level? 

Melanie: So, this is the beautiful thing. Kevin works with me not to make money. He works with me to make sure that I'm happy and that we are connected and our relationship works well, and that my business makes me happy. His reason is not money. I work because this is my purpose and I love this work, but I work because Alpha Femme is my business, but Kevin's role inside of the business is not because of the business. It's because of me. It's his love for me that creates his work in the business, which is so refreshing because he doesn't make the decisions for money purposes.

He makes the decision for my well-being purpose. So amazing. Yeah. So he works with me and inside of the brand, but it's more so for quality of life and togetherness rather than the bottom line, the people I have on my team that are supporting me with the money is the part of my team that pays the commissions that receives the payments that records all the payments and keep it Infusionsoft and make sure that everybody gets tagged in the right things. But if a payment gets skipped, they reach out to the people and say, Hey, we're noticing a payment gets skipped. If there's ever an issue with the client, it goes directly to them. There's ever a default in payment or someone trying to default on their, you know, my team takes care of that.

So I'm very supported that way instead of. Then I also have like my legal team that makes sure that we are protected, that everything that we're doing is above board, that if anybody is ever wanting to do something that could harm the brand that's being taken care of through my legal team.  I also have my tax team.

So that makes sure throughout the year that because we have Alpha femme and Alpha productions. So making sure that all of our expenses goes in the right company, that each credit card is being utilized properly, that every expense is being monitored correctly, like so that we pay the right amount of taxes correctly, the way it's supposed to be. So we don't get in trouble or get audited or do make a mistake. Like I have an extraordinary tax team for that. We invest, we have investment properties. We own land. We have investments in the stock market and things like that. So we have all of our investment team as well. So it's grown quite a bit. In 2021 was a very pivotal year for that because we invested in a lot of teams around money.

Emily:  Yeah. I'm curious, you know, I think you're at a point with money where look, if you wanted to retire, you could retire and you know, your lifestyle would be fine, right? Like it could be pretty cushy. I know that you don't want to do that because you feel like you still have this mission and purpose. And I'm curious, are there still money goals that feel really motivating and exciting to you as well?

I can't imagine what my life would look like without this work because it's constantly giving me. An extraordinary sense of purpose. Like a dream of Christmas time I got sick and I unplugged for quite a while. I moved all my calls. I didn't have a program. We were supposed to do a masterclass. I canceled it so I could take care of myself.

And when I came back, it felt like the Twilight zone. It's like what means anything.  Even with the state, the world is in right now. It's not fun. If we're not building, what are we doing? So I can't imagine just stopping even for my own wellbeing. Like I want to think, I want to feel, I want to deepen my connection to my life.

I want to feel stuff I want to think and feel and be engaged at the most high possible frequency. I feel so grateful that this is my life, the conversations we have in the hyper mind, the one-on-one calls like I hang up and I've got chills and I'm like, oh my gosh, this gives my life meaning and purpose. I could retire.

And then I also wonder I probably miss it, but there are pieces that, you know, what I'm excited about is to say, I want to build more of my digital work, you know, we'll make a few million dollars a year right now off the digital courses that are already pre recorded that people purchase. But most of the work is in my life programs and then the hyper mind, and then my private coaching, but the bulk, I would love for the bulk of it to be in pre-recorded programs and courses.

And that eventually I get to the point where when I decide I'm launching a new live thing. It's like, oh my God. You know, instead of like, we, of course you just want every month. So I do want to get to that point where I'm working less, but I don't ever want to get to a point where I am not working, that doesn't feel aligned at all.

And I think I will always have a small mastermind or a few private clients, because those conversations the way I see it, we make this industry go forward with the leaders talking. It's in the greatest minds that have already achieved all this stuff and have arrived at this next, talking to each other, that new concepts are born.

That new questions are asked that we push the envelope. So without me being here, speaking to the women who are here with me about what's really next, I can't really be crafting the next level of thought, the next level thing. So it's important for me, for you, for us, that these conversations continue.  When it comes to money goals, it's so strange because I still don't attach money. It's more of the growth. So it's saying, can I continue to grow in this industry past this point? Is it possible to get to a $25 million a year and still experience business growth? Is that possible? Is it possible for this industry to continue to flourish? Can we raise the bar?

Because there are some things that I see in this industry that if they continue this could break the industry. And then there's other ways of operating that. I know if we really come together and raise the bar, this is an industry that is like revolutionary and that can go generations and generations and generations and create millions and billions of dollars for women all over the planet to reclaim their sovereignty, but those same women could sabotage the whole thing with some of the things I'm seeing in the industry right now. So there's like this, I want to be a part of solidifying it. I want to create this vessel for the entrepreneur. There is for women in feminine energetics. It's important to me, the goals aren't so much financial, but there are still milestones that I'll attach a meaning to so that we can have a party like we're at 38 million and 12 million from now. I'll be celebrating $50 million. $50 million company to date. That blows my freaking mind. And that will happen this year. Most probably, which means five years of Apha Femme, $50 million. The thought of that blows my mind is the most extraordinary thing. Like I'm so excited to celebrate that. Is it because I need it.

No, like what's another $10 million. Like it's not about the money anymore. It's about the consistent growth, the evolution, it's about being a woman who's brave enough to speak about money with other women, even though it puts a target, even though a lot of people don't like it, even though all the things like to continue to speak about growth and evolution, to continue to prove that we can still do this, that there is no ceiling with the sky.

Isn't even the limit to be that little. That's what inspires me more than any other thing. 

Emily: Yes. I love that so much. It's like what the money represents. And it really is true at every milestone that like our brain can't really wrap around the money and there's something kind of fun about that liike it's this dumbfounding sort of feeling. Yeah. 

Melanie: Like I want to normalize it and it still blows my mind. Like I want it to be normal. Like millionaires in my world is normal. And still I think about it sometimes. And I'm like, can we just talk about the fact that you just made a million and a million dollars, please? I never even met a millionaire until I became one. You know what I mean? It's like, how does this even possible? But it is. And that's the exciting part. And the fact that this is just the beginning and what we're paving the way for, for women in the future is so incredible. What is going to become true for the generations to come because of this work that lights me up.

Emily: Yes. Yeah. The ripple effect. Yeah. The setting free, like even just that one piece that you talked about before at the very beginning, which is if money isn't part of the equation, who am I? if I get to order anything on this menu, if I get to choose any restaurant to go to, if I could shop at any store and buy any item there, what would I pick? If that were the only thing that money gave us, what a gift and what a ripple effect of truly knowing self on a new level, 

Melanie: That's the journey like, where would I live? What kind of house would I have? How would I decorate it? Which couch would I pick? If I could pick any single one, what would my style be?

What would I wear? Am I boho? Or am I like classic elegance. Like, what am I, how do I do my hair? How often do I do it? Do I have manicured nails? Am I the kind of person that likes the spot? Or what do I like? What do I do if it's not like, oh, well, I can't do that. Right. You know, that's too expensive. And it's the discovery of who you are as a limitless being on this planet is such a cool experience and watching it change and, you know, connecting to new people who are aware of this whole other thing that you've never heard of. And then you realize you love that, you know, like it's just this ever growing, ever changing experience.  It makes life mean something. 

Emily: Yes, absolutely. Well, I feel like we could riff on this all day.

Melanie:  I agree. 

Emily:I thank you so much for being here for sharing your energy, your wisdom, all of the codes that you've cracked so generously with us. And I have zero doubt that everyone listens is going to want to follow you immediately and jump into your world if they aren't already. So can you please share, like, where are your favorite places to connect with people? 

Melanie: So as crazy as this is, I've built this whole thing with only social media.

So the only way to connect with me is Facebook and Instagram and Facebook has been giving me a hard time lately, but still, if you want to be a part of a community of people who like money pop in all the time, my free Alpha Femme group is an amazing place to connect with other entrepreneurs who are really celebrating big money.

So that's a fun place to be. But my Instagram, I have two alpha femme and Melanie and layer on Instagram. And if you're connected with me there, you know, everything there is.

Emily:  Yeah, and we will throw all of those links in the show notes. Melanie does incredible free master classes. She has so many ways for you to get to know her, her body of work and the incredible community that she's built. So, Melanie, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being on the show. 

Melanie: This was so fun. I love you so much. 

Emily: All right. And thank you for listening and we'll talk to you soon. Bye.