Episode 21: Ease vs Easy - Choosing the Path of Most Comfortable Resistance
Emily discusses the difference between ease and easy and why difficult things can be approached with a mindset of ease and comfort.
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The reason that I like talking about ease and joy and flow in my messaging is because I was one of the entrepreneurs that made things harder than they needed to be. I could have done it with more ease. Doesn't mean it would've been easy, but I didn't have to make it so hard. I didn't need to be paddling upstream.
I didn't need to put my worth on the line. I didn't need to be constantly trying to prove that all of the successes, the achievements, that the money, that anything that was happening was because I worked really hard for it.
Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so, so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money.Just go to money woundsquiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent results. And if you're loving my vibe and want to work one-on-one to call in more feminine energy wealth, I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on social media or go to emilywilcox.com to learn more.
Hey, hey, I've got such a juicy episode for you today. Quickly before we dive in, many of you have reached out to ask how we can work together, and I do have limited openings to work with me via one-on-one private coaching inside the Rise Mastermind, and I've actually even opened up a few spots for human design readings.
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And recording this for a podcast, and I'm super excited because I wanna talk about this conversation around ease versus easy. What I've seen lately in messaging is that there's these two seemingly very different camps, and for the longest time when we talked about work and entrepreneurship and building businesses, we were all bought into this idea that it was hard, that it was a grind, that it was a hustle, that you had to outwork your competition.
That if you were the one who could just stay alive the longest that you would. Right. And as we've had this collective ascension and awakening, or reawakening, I should say, to divine feminine energy, we've been able to release some of that, right? And there's been this new narrative around. Ease and flow and not working so hard and allowing ourselves to receive.
And you know, I'm here for that. And then what's happened is that some of the original camp has come back and said like, look, if you think business is gonna be easy, you should just quit right now. You shouldn't even start. And there's kind of this blowback messaging against the divine feminine. Energy, which is sort of like people are lying to you.
No one's telling you how hard it's gonna be people are acting like they're manifesting from their bathtub when they've actually put in all of these unseen hours in order to make that thing happen that someone just happened to buy the while they were in the bass. Right? And here's my hot. I really believe that like two things can be true and there's duality to everything.
And so we can look for the both and, and then we can use discernment to figure out which messaging is actually what we need and what will be inspiring and moving us towards our goal at any given moment. And so, I wanna use an analogy to help kind of paint the picture of this, right? And it's the analogy of a river.
So for those of you who may have seen, I recently posted something on Facebook about, you know, not wanting my business to feel like a 30 mile march. And instead I was like, I wanted it to be like a 30 mile float down a lazy river, right? So we're gonna keep going with that analogy. So there's so much that happens before we come into this life.
There are soul contracts and there's karma that we're agreeing to come back into this human form to work on. Right? So in the analogy of like life school, Before we come into human form, we're choosing our life school. And some of it's kind of chosen for us based on our karma, right? So we have these like mandatory classes that we're gonna need to take, and then we have these electives.
And so there's a lot that we've already agreed to and we typically don't know what that is. and then there's the free will that we have in this lifetime based on the decisions that we make and all of that. So if you think about a river, which river we're on has probably been predetermined before we came into this lifetime.
So we might be on a class five. and those of you who have never done whitewater rafting, class five is the hardest rapids. So it's a river that has a ton of rapids that has really hard rapids to navigate through without having like a horrible outcome. Right? People like die on Class five rapids. We might have be a class four or a Class three river.
We might be a class one river, like. We don't have a lot of control over that, so is our life going to be easy? Probably not. I think most people who even on paper, their life looks easy, whether or not they're a business owner, whether or not they're an entrepreneur. If you ask them, do you have an easy life, they can probably point to a lot of moments that have not felt.
So life's not exactly intended to be easy, and we don't exactly have control right now in our human form of which river we're on. So if we don't get to decide which river we're on, what do we get to decide? Well, we get to kind of have some control over how we're navigating the river and what our attitude is toward it, right?
So we could take the approach of. I don't even wanna be on this river, so I'm gonna be spending all of my time trying to get off the river. I'm gonna be paddling upstream as hard as I can. I'm gonna be trying to get to shore. I'm gonna be grabbing at every branch because I'm just not happy with this experience.
We could take the approach of white knuckling it the whole way, like, I'm on this river, but it feels so scary and oh my God, when is the next rapid gonna come and when is it gonna capsize my raft? And when am I gonna meet my maker? We can take the approach of, okay, I'm on this river. This is a chill moment.
Let me just enjoy this chill moment. Let me take in the scenery. Let me get some breaths. Let me just like refill my cup. Oh, here comes another rapid. Okay. What can I control? I can steer. I can control my attitude. I can believe that I'm gonna make it through. I can try to work with the current instead of against it.
When we do that, we find ease. Doesn't mean it's. We may still be navigating a classified rapid. We may still be facing a life or death situation. We may be facing the most difficult thing we've ever faced in this lifetime. Not easy. Can we do it with ease? Can we avoid making it more difficult than it needs to be?
The reason that I like talking about ease. Joy and flow in my messaging is because I was one of the entrepreneurs that made things harder than they needed to be. I could have done it with more ease. It doesn't mean it would've been easy, but I didn't have to make it so hard. I didn't need to be paddling upstream.
I didn't need to put my worth on the line. I didn't need to be constantly trying to prove that all of the successes, the achievements, that the money, that anything that was happening was because I worked really hard for. That's the opposite of ease. That's basically saying, I was in a point where the river was chill and I could have been floating and just taking it in and receiving, but instead I had to try to change the course.
I had to try and paddle upstream. I had to make it feel harder because otherwise I wasn't worthy of receiving. So in my messaging, I tend to talk to the entrepreneurs that are doing that same thing because that was my lived experience. Does that mean that when you tune into Gary v's messaging and he's talking about how you need to work really hard and you need to hustle and grind, and that building a business is difficult, does that mean that he's wrong and I'm right?
No. No, it just means that we're talking to different people or people who are in different phases, right? There are people that need. The pep talk that needs someone kind of yelling in their face so that they make some changes and so that they decide, you know what? I am gonna go all in on my business and instead of, you know, watching an hour of Netflix every night before bed, that's actually gonna be my time when I'm gonna do something to make my life better.
That's the time when I'm going to, you know, invest in my business. If I only move it forward one inch every night, that's okay. I'm gonna do it. There are people that equal. Need that message. I'm not one of those people. So when I lack discernment, I'm not filtering out the messages that I don't need. In fact, I'm allowing them in and from a very wounded place, taking that in and doing even more of that.
Right. So if you are someone who has a tendency to be too leaned back to want it to be too easy, to the point where you're actually avoiding the obstacle and you're avoiding the difficult thing that needs to be done, you've gotta use your discernment. To say, you know what? I actually need to listen to some podcasts and surround myself with people that are going to be a little bit more motivational and that are gonna talk to me about the fact that, hey, this is gonna be a little bit hard cuz that's what I need.
But if you're someone like me that has never had a problem with work ethic, that has a tendency to overwork and overdo it, then you've gotta use your discernment also. And you've gotta tune into the people that are saying, you know what? When it's easy, let it be easy. Ah, what a gift. What a gift that it feels easy right now.
Receive it. Lean back. Let yourself be poured into Let your cup be filled. Enjoy the scenery, soak it all in, anchor in this moment, and when the next obstacle comes, it'll be okay. , you know how to work hard. You know how to do what needs to be done, you know how to navigate the rapids, but don't make it harder than it needs to be.
right? So there's this false dichotomy right now in messaging out on social media and in all the spaces where it's like, it feels like there's two different camps and that there's this manifestation, ease, flow. Make money from my bathtub camp. And then there's the hustle grind. You better F and work hard.
And if you don't wanna work hard, you shouldn't even get into business. And what I'm saying is that they're both okay. They're both fine and they're, in my opinion, they're not actually in opposition to each other. Right? Can we respect the fact that there are billions of people on this planet and there are going to need to be different messages to motivate and encourage different people?
You can't control which river you're on, which you can have an ease filled float down the river by not making it more difficult than it needs to be. So here's another analogy. Think about choosing to climb Mount Everest, right? No matter what. That's going to be challenging. There's no way to do Everest where it's going to feel.
By nature of choosing to scale Mount Everest, you're saying, I wanna do something really hard. I wanna do something that very few people ever do. Right. To me, that's kind of like choosing to be your own boss, to run your own business, to build something that hasn't really been created before, to share your unique gifts and expression with the world.
That is a difficult thing. Most people don't choose to do that, so you're choosing to climb mount, ever. We're not saying that it's going to be easy. How do we do it with ease? That's the more appropriate question. We know it's not gonna be easy, but how do we do it with ease? What's the most effortless way to do this hard thing?
Well, I imagine that there are probably different paths to the top of Mount ever. Do you wanna take the path that's straight up, that no one's ever done before? There's no trail in place. Do you wanna take the path that takes a little bit longer, but your elevation climb is a little slower, so your body has a little more chance to get acclimated.
You've got a little bit more rest built into the hike. Do you wanna choose the path where there's literally boulder, after Boulder after Boulder in your path, and so every 10 feet, you have to stop and you have to chisel away a giant boulder before you can move forward again. When I say it this way, you're gonna be like, yeah, duh.
Of course I don't want the path with a zillion boulders, but we often choose. We often choose it. I almost said you do choose it, but I don't know specifically if you do. So I would rather say it as a we that feels a little bit more accurate, but ask yourself, where am I actually choosing the path with a bunch of boulders and why?
Why am I doing that? Am I doing it because there's a part of me that actually wants to punish myself? Am I doing it? Because there's a part of me that's actually afraid that once my business is successful and I have all this money, that I'm gonna be judged by my community, by my friends, by my family, by the people that actually mean a ton to me.
So I really want them to see how hard I'm working because if they see how hard I'm working, then they'll still love me when I have money, when I have all the. Why do we choose the path full of boulders? There's always a reason. And when you ask yourself better questions, you'll get better answers. So that's one to ask.
Where can I allow myself to take a more effortless path? Can I allow myself to have a Sherpa? Or do I have to carry my own backpack? Is it really important to me that I have a hundred pounds of gear on my back? Or can I allow the accomplishment of getting to the top of Mount Everest to be enough? And I can tell everybody, you know what?
It was incredible. I did it and. I had so much support. I'm so grateful that I had someone carrying my stuff. I'm so grateful that I paid for a guide that showed me the way. I'm so grateful that there was someone that prepared food for me. Gosh, I couldn't have done it without my team. Does that take away from the accomplishment?
Only you can answer that. Only you can answer that. And there are people who choose to go it alone, and there are people who choose to get a lot of support along the. , and neither one is right or wrong, but just being honest with yourself about what you're choosing and why you're choosing it. I'll tell you, I had an example just yesterday, so I'm not exactly ready to fully reveal what I'm doing, but I've had this divine download that I've been sitting with now since March, and a part of it is going to be a.
And I've gotten a recent surge of energy to really work on this, and I'm really feeling motivated to get this out into the world now. I had an idea in mind for the way that I wanted this quiz to work. A lot of the quiz building software out there is super basic. It's like they're just trying to generate.
So it's like, just ask your people three to five questions. Keep it positive, keep it super lighthearted, and you'll get their email address and let that be that. That is not the vision that I have for this quiz. I want it to be super impactful. I want you to really learn something about you that you've maybe never known about yourself.
I don't believe that you're only gonna get one outcome. Okay, so I want you to be able to get multiple results and you'd be able to see the strength of each of those. And I want it to be really meaningful. So what that meant is that when I actually went to start looking at all of the software that's available for building quizzes, I was coming up against roadblock after roadblock because the way in my mind that this needed to be done was that I needed to have waiting on the.
So that how you answered it actually assigned a different weight, a different point value to the potential outcome that you were going to get, and that you could still get multiple outcomes and that you could give multiple answers to any question. To me, that doesn't sound wild, but. Looking at all the quiz making software out there, it was not going to happen.
The only way that I could find that functionality was more of like hardcore survey software. So think about like if you've ever been in corporate America, oh my gosh. HR used to send us out these surveys where it was like all of these different things and you had to pick strongly disagree, somewhat disagree, neither agree nor disagree, somewhat agree, very strongly agree.
It was like, and then I still don't think it would've even spit out the types of answers that I wanted because surveys are really more about data collection, not so much about sharing a result with you and teaching you something about yourself. So I was starting to get frustrated. I was like, had tested out five different softwares.
I wasn't finding what I needed, and finally I just took a breath and stepped away from it and I said, I feel like I'm paddling upstream. This does not feel effort. , it does not feel like there's any ease right now, you know? And my husband was like, can you hire a coder? Have somebody develop this for you.
It'll just be on your website. I'm like, yes, I could. I absolutely could do that. But when I tune into the energy that feels like swimming upstream and do I wanna swim up? So I just asked my higher self, like, show me a downstream solution. Show me something that I'm not seeing that will allow me to get a really meaningful outcome that will allow me to build this quiz in the way that I want it built without having to paddle upstream to make it happen.
And so I like didn't do anything yesterday afternoon, and my energy was zapped from the ways I had been beating my head against the wall all morning. . My daughter only had a half day of school cuz it was her first day. So I read my book for a little bit. I took a nap. Then we went and picked up little brother from school.
We all went to a park. , I was feeling rejuvenated, so I got to be like the good mom at the park and actually like did the monkey bars with my kids and pushed them on the swing. Whereas if I had still been feeling depleted, I would've just sat on a bench and you know, if JJ would've said, mom, will you push me on that swing?
I would've been like, no, honey, not right now. And then after the kids went to bed, I was like, okay, I wanna come back. And I just started building it a totally different way and in like 10 minutes, 15 minutes, maybe I had something that felt really, really good. Is it a hundred percent there? I'm not sure I gotta revisit it today.
I gotta get a little feedback from some trusted people. But boy, do I feel like I'm floating downstream. So I just share that as an example. Is building the quiz easy? No, I would not say it's easy. So the question for me is, can I do it in a way that feels filled with ease? Because when we're making aligned decisions, when we're doing the things that are part of our bigger mission are part of the way that we're meant to be impacting on the world, we have the energy to do those things and frankly, I don't mind if there's obstacles.
I don't mind if I have to navigate some rapids during this lazy river float. What I don't wanna be doing is perpetuating my old pattern of making it harder than it needs to be, and paddling upstream when there's actually a beautiful downstream solution. So this just goes back to asking ourselves good questions and using discernment.
Using discernment about who gets space inside our mind. Who are we following on social media? Who are we listening to on podcasts? What books are we reading? And are those things making us feel motivated, making us feel good, making us feel like we're moving closer to our goal? Or are those things just perpetuating an old pattern that actually needs to be released?
And you gotta use your discernment. You're the only one that can answer that question. But my wish for everyone is that you can find the path of ease knowing that life is not meant to be easy, that you can find the ease, because you know what happens in the ease. What happens in the ease are all the beautiful moments.
it's like the stop to smell the flower moments. It's where we get to enjoy the journey. It's where we get to have so much gratitude for the fact that, gosh, we're not where we wanna be, and we are where we wanna be all at the same time. You know, my mentor calls it one foot in gratitude, one foot in desire.
That only happens when we're in a state of ease. because when we're paddling upstream, we're two feet in desire. We feel lack. We feel very uncomfortable with where we're at, and we're trying desperately to get to a different place and it doesn't feel good. And we can spend decades of our lives in that energetic state.
So my desire in recording. Is to show you how beautiful the path of ease can be and inspire you to look at the places in your life where you haven't allowed it, and then allow it in. So if you're watching this on the replay, if you're listening to it on the podcast, please screenshot it. Tag me. Let me know how this landed for you.
Share a. Where you've not chosen the easy path, where you've not chosen a path of ease and where you're committed to making a shift. I really would love to hear that from you. And with that, thank you so much for tuning in. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day and we'll talk soon.
Thank you so much for listening to today's show, changing the way feel and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that it starts with you tuning in and it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook. And tag me at m makes money and you know what moves the needle the most.
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