Episode 31: Removing Rules Around Money with Emily Wilcox

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Emily shares how changing the way she looks at money allowed her to feel more abundance. Find out why parking her money for a variety of reasons and putting rules around it does not work for her.

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Transcript

Knowing that the money is working on growing and multiplying and returning to me doesn't mean that you need to do it my way. It's really just an opportunity to examine where are you creating rules around money that are causing you to feel a way you actually don't want to feel when you can reclaim your sovereignty, reclaim your power.

When you can truly trust yourself with money, when you can truly trust money, it changes the game. It changes the. And if this resonates with you and you notice that you're actually in abundance, but you've been creating a false sense of lack in your life, then you get to look at that and you get to do something different.

Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so, so good, and before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking. This is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to moneywoundsquiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent results.

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Hello and welcome to the Em Makes Money Show. I am here fresh off of the Thanksgiving holiday week, so by the time you're listening to this, it'll be a little later than that. But I sincerely hope that everyone is having a beautiful holiday season, and I am here to talk to you today about destroying the rules around money.

This is something. That has been really revolutionary in my life. I was inspired to record this episode because it recently came up with one of my business besties. and she was talking about how she is finds herself in a situation where her credit cards are full. She is kind of in this weird duality where she's feeling some lack, also feeling like she's on the right path in her business, and also she has a lot of money tucked away in stocks and retirement accounts and things like that.

It's not as though she's actually. And I could really relate to what she was talking about because for years I had a lot of rules around my money as well. And I think this is something really common and is often considered actually like good financial practice, right? That we have money in these certain buckets that we don't touch, or we only touch them for these specific reasons, right?

This is my retirement fund, so I'm not gonna touch it. And this is. Home fund. So it only gets to be spent for a down payment. This is my kid's college fund, so we're not gonna touch that. And we created all of these buckets of money with these different purposes, and we put all of these rules around them.

In theory, it makes sense, right? And I subscribe to that for many, many, many years. So if you're listening to this and you do this too, know that I'm not here to make you. . What I'm here to do is explore the energetics around this and underneath this and behind this. What I found in my own life is that I was artificially creating lack, and I can say that this is what was happening with my friend as well, right?

She's feeling like she has maxed out credit cards. She's feeling like she doesn't have enough money coming in to cover her expenses, and yet she also has over six figure. Monetary equivalence that she's not allowing herself to touch. So her everyday experience is lack the truth of the truth is that there's an abundance, but she's not touching the abundance.

And that is so much how I had my money set up. And I actually thought that this was really helping me, that if I felt the lack, then I would behave differently. That I. Pinch pennies that I would watch my budget more carefully and that it would actually lead to more abundance. So I had the mentality of like squirreling away money.

So I had like different I RRA accounts, different 401k accounts, different whole life insurance accounts. Like I had a lot of different money saving and growing vehicles and I would never look at 'em. In fact, like my goal would be to forget about. Because then they wouldn't get touched. Right? What I understand now is that we actually manifest based on our feelings.

And so whatever the predominant feeling is in your life, that's what you're an energetic match for. And when I was behaving in this way, I was an energetic match for lack. I was an energetic match for not enough. I was an energetic match for just getting. That's how I felt all the time. That's how I genuinely felt.

I didn't actually feel abundant. I didn't feel like, Ooh, I actually have so many secret money STEs everywhere. This is magical. This is amazing. I didn't feel that what I felt was the account that I looked at regularly, where there was just enough. I really weighed my purchases against did I really? Did it make sense?

Was there enough money coming in to cover it? I didn't wanna go into debt and all these different things, and so that cycle perpetuated. I didn't get rich from these methods. It wasn't like I had scrolled away so much money that I was actually just. Getting so rich while living on getting by. I was just creating more feelings of lack, more feelings of not enoughness, more feelings of just enough, not just feelings of it, but evidence of it as well.

What it took for me was actually taking a fresh look at money when we understand money to just be energy and to be a neutral tool. Then we can look at it differently. And so I suggest that you do this, even if it's just a thought exercise. I give you full permission to go through this thought exercise with me and change nothing.

If you still desire to have a four that you don't touch a kid's education fund, that you don't touch retirement, account that you don't touch, and well life policy that you don't touch, you are allowed to do. For me, when I looked at what the true energetic signature was around all of those rules, it boiled down to a couple things.

It boiled down to, number one, I don't trust myself with money, so if I actually gave myself access to all of this money, There was a little part of me that was afraid that I would mismanage it, that I would spend it on things that weren't in alignment with my long-term vision. And so therefore, I had to create rules.

I had to put money in different accounts. I wanted to not see it every day so that I wouldn't feel tempted and I wouldn't make a decision that I would later regret. So that was one thing. Mistrust of. The other piece of it was mistrust of money. So not trusting that the money wouldn't leave somehow, that the money wouldn't go and never come back.

I didn't have a belief system at that point. That money could grow through circulation. And so it was almost like I was putting money in jail, right? Because if it's in jail, then I'm in control and I know where it is and it's not going anywhere. So I had all of these little money jail. And then we wonder why more money isn't wanting to abundantly pour into our lives.

Well, the money that was in jail called all of its little money friends and was like, don't come to this lady. She's gonna put you in jail. You don't wanna be here. Stay away. Keep your distant money, wants to go where it's gonna be. Enjoyed, loved, adored, circulated. Where it gets to go, it gets to come back.

I think about a romantic relationship. Would you choose to be with a partner that like locks you away until, has tons of rules around what you can and can't do? Or would you wanna be with a partner where there's a lot of trust and you can each live independent lives, but you also really enjoy your time together?

You can go, you get to come back. Like it all works. It functions. There's a level of trust and love that's at the foundation of everyth. Most of us want that in our romantic relationships, but most of us are not in that type of a relationship with money, and I certainly wasn't. With all of these rules and with money jails left and right.

Something that I heard from a friend of mine is that money grows through circulation. It's like blood. Blood can only do its job if it's pumping and if it's moving around, it's gotta be able to carry the oxygen to all the different places. If it's stagnant, if it can only stay in one place, nothing works.

It doesn't function right. And we end up asphyxiating basical. We need blood to circulate. That's actually how it functions. And if we can borrow that belief for money that it needs to circulate, that's actually how it functions. It allows us to have a less grippy relationship on money. For me, when I allowed myself to remove some of the rules and really anchor in that I trusted myself and that I trusted money, and that money could grow through circulation, that it could come, that it could go, and then it could return 10.

What it allowed me to do is actually to feel more abundant. My predominant feeling now is not lack. It's not just enough. It's not just getting by. I truly feel so much more abundant. I feel like I'm in a relationship with money where there's more surprise and delight where there's more unexpected money showing up in ways that I couldn't have imagined.

There's more joy and generosity. Spending and it's interesting because right now there actually is less money in my bank accounts than there used to be. But my feeling around it is so different and I really trust in the investments that I'm making and I know that the money is working on growing and multiplying and returning to me doesn't mean that you need to do it.

My. It's really just an opportunity to examine where are you creating rules around money that are causing you to feel the way you actually don't want to feel when you can reclaim your sovereignty, reclaim your power. When you can truly trust yourself with money, when you can truly trust money, it changes the game.

It changes the. And if this resonates with you and you notice that you're actually in abundance, but you've been creating a false sense of lack in your life, then you get to look at that and you get to do something different, and you get to set yourself free. You don't have to continue living that way.

That's the message that I had for me, and that's the message that I have for you. I'll tell you, it has been the most liberating thing so, so, so liberating to not feel lack day in. Day out the way that I used to. And when I think back on that into the fact that it was self-inflicted, it's so wild. It's like almost comical to me.

What was I thinking? Why did I do that to myself? But when I honestly looked at it, it really is part of our predominant belief system around money. It's so common. To put rules around money. I don't have to make myself wrong about it. I don't have to demonize the teachers that are teaching these belief systems around money.

It's just that they're not understanding the energetics. And when we look at the energetics, if we're creating systems and rules around our money that are causing us to feel lack, then we will attract more lack into our lives. If you're okay with that, that is your choice as a sovereign. If you're wanting to feel more abundance, if you're wanting to feel more trust, if you're wanting to feel more joy, if you're wanting to feel like money gets to come and go and come and multiply and return in greater supplies, that's a different feeling.

It's a different vibration, and you've gotta make different decisions in order to make that happen. Let me know what landed for you. Drop into my d. Tag me in a comment, share this episode. It would mean so much. I hope you have a wonderful day and we'll talk soon. Thank you so much for listening to today's show.

Changing the way we think, feel, and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that it starts with you tuning in and it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook and tag me at m Makes money and you know what moves the needle, the. Taking just a minute to leave a five star review on iTunes.

This show isn't free to produce, so let's multiply those dollars invested to help this show reach a bigger audience each week. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it. And lastly, if you want more connection, more Em Makes Money style, rifts, and a safe place on the internet to talk about money, jump into my free Facebook group, the Money Club.

It's linked in the show. Until next time, I'm wishing you health, happiness, and boatloads of money.