Episode 25: Time Bending with Emily Wilcox
Em dives deep into great masculine and feminine strategies for making time your ally instead of your enemy.
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So with time bending, we can set intentions and we can have fun with specifically saying, okay, universe, I really desire to time bend today. I'm looking at my schedule and I can see that it has the possibility of being a day where it feels like I'm doing one thing, the next thing, the next thing, the next thing, and the next thing and the day.
But I really want to experience spaciousness in my schedule today. I want it to feel like I have an abundance of time. So let's do that together.
Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to moneywoundsquiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent results.
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I'm actually doing a solo show today, and it's on a topic that I'm really excited to bring to you. It's something that we all experience, but our experience is very relative. It's something that we often weaponize against ourselves, and that is time. And I'm challenging myself to do some more solo podcasts because I do have a lot to say and I want it to feel like you and I have a relationship.
And sometimes I think when I'm holding space for interview, which I love and I hope that you love, but that we're not necessarily building a relationship that we could. So I'm gonna weave in some more solo podcasts. And I recently had a friend who is also a mom and she was staying with me for a week and our kids were doing a camp together.
And so, you know, there was some logistics to be coordinated and that kind of thing. And she asked me, she's like, you know, you seem to have a really good relationship with time and. You don't stress about it and yet you're also still like intentional about it and on time for things and you know, can you just riff on that a little bit?
And so I thought it was such a great question and that's what made me wanna share it here. Because it took me a long time to get into a really beautiful relationship with time. I think we've all had experiences where we've felt a lot of scarcity around time. We've felt like time wasn't on our side.
We've weaponized time against ourselves. Right? I created a sense of urgency or not allowed ourselves to celebrate something or felt like we were a failure because we didn't do something or accomplish something within a certain amount of time. And so there's a couple of things here because first of all, we need to understand that to a large degree, time is kind of made up, right?
We all abide by this idea. A month is either 30 or 31 days. So hello right there. If that doesn't tell you that time is made up, right? We've got this calendar system and we've all decided that a day occurs when you know the sun goes up and then the sun goes down, and then the moon comes up, and then the moon goes down, and that's one day.
But if you can just stop for a second and imagine a world where we all decided that a day. Was the sun goes up, the sun goes down. The moon comes up, the moon goes down. The sun comes up. The sun goes down. The moon goes up. The moon goes down. That's one. , right? So if we all agreed to that, then all of a sudden our days would feel much longer.
Our months would feel shorter if we were still operating on 30 sunrises being a month, maybe we would change that. Or maybe a month would now be 15 days instead of 30 days. But we could all collectively change our definition of time if we wanted to. Right. And the reason that I like to do that thought exercise is it sort of helps me remember in times when I'm going to that place of weaponization that there's really no need for it.
And. , that's typically helpful when I don't get something done right within 30 days, right? It was a monthly goal and it didn't get done within 30 days. Okay, well, if it got done on 31 days, but this month was only a 30-day month, but last month was a 31-day month, but this month it took me 31 days. So did I fail because I didn't get done within the calendar month, or can I give myself some grace?
Was it close? Same thing with a quarter. Great. So it's like 90 to 92 days or something in a quarter. Okay. Well if I don't get it done, if something didn't happen quite exactly right within those 90, 92 days, like, does that mean that I'm a failure or can I still continue the momentum? Still keep working toward the thing.
Not get so fixated on time that all of a sudden it feels like the weapon, right? So time is very relative and when we can just grip it a little more loosely, it helps us to play with it and ultimately to go into co-creation with it, which is what I'll also be talking. So before I talk about time bending and being in a more co-creative relationship with universe around time, I also feel like I need to say that it is important in my opinion, that we do honor and respect time.
So meaning, Having some intention around honoring the passing of time, using our time with intentionality, spending time looking back to see how far we've come. I also set intentions around the way that I interact with time, so it's important to me to be on time to things. I don't like being late to meetings.
I don't like being late to kid drop off or pickups or things like that. Now, of course there's flexibility, right? Like if you get a party invitation and it's like a three hour party, I don't feel like I have to be there minute one, right? So there's some social context, but if it's something where the social context is that it starts at a specific time, I do desire to be there on for a variety of reasons. I wanna respect the other people that are involved. I understand the ripple effect. You know, if I'm late and then the meeting goes long, then that could potentially impact other people and what's next on their calendars. So we need to do the practical. to make that happen before we really talk about the energetics, because specifically around time, I think sometimes we use energetics as like the Hail Mary, the get out of jail free card, and that doesn't really work if we're not also doing our part and we're not using like some practical like masculine support systems to help us with. Right?
So what do I mean by that? Well, putting things in your calendar, having reminders set, using some sort of a planner system, like use a few things that are easily available to you so that your brain doesn't have to be in the background. Always thinking about. . So the more that you can make it so that you don't have to be focused on time because something else is keeping track of it for you, the more you can then surrender into the feminine energy and have a different experience of.
My other point around having some intention and having some self-discipline is that time often helps us to either strengthen self-trust and strengthen self-commitment, or it reveals to us where we're undermining that. So if I set an intention, To go to the gym at four o'clock every day, and then every day I'm either late to the gym or don't go to the gym at all.
I'm undermining my trust in myself. I'm undermining my belief in my word, right? And so that happens often around time and the types of commitments we make. So really honor and respect. and don't take it lightly when you make a decision like that for yourself or if it involves someone else, right? If you tell somebody like, I'm gonna be there at two o'clock.
See you there. and then you're not there at two o'clock. Not only does that impact the other person, but it also impacts you and your relationship with yourself and whether you think you are trustworthy. And when you do that, even on a small scale, it affects how you feel about yourself on a big scale. So if you don't trust yourself to actually be there at two o'clock, when you say you're gonna be there at two o'clock, when you go to create a goal for yourself to do a hundred thousand dollars in your business this month, or $200,000 or $500,000, how much do you think that your brain trusts you to follow through on that?
If you can't follow through at being there at two o'clock when you said you'd be there at two o'. , so you may have some energy to clean up around that if you desire a more magical relationship with time and a more trusting, loving, supportive relationship with yourself and your word. So these are all just invitations to look at and to get curious and to notice the places where perhaps the energy is untidy, right?
And get that cleaned up. So once the practical stuff is cleaned up. You're a person that for the most part, barring extenuating circumstances, you show up. When you say you're gonna show up, you honor your commitments. You're on time for meetings. You use some basic masculine structure to help you, like calendar alerts and reminders, a planner, so you're not thinking about time a lot, and yet you're still able to be on time for things, right? So all of that is cleaned up. Then there's a couple things. One is changing the story in your mind when things go wrong. So in my personal experience, I always had the intention around being on time, and I had the self-discipline and the follow through most of the time. I also made that mean something about me, which meant that there was a flip side, and the flip side was when I was running late. It was remarkably stressful because I was also making that mean something about me. Like, oh my gosh, what is this other person gonna think of me? Crap, I'm gonna seem so flaky.
I'm gonna seem so unreliable. I'm gonna seem like a person that can't follow through with my word. I am worried that I'm gonna show up looking like a total stress case. Oh my gosh, what if I'm missing this huge opportunity? What if by the time that I get there, my opportunity is gone? I can't even meet with the person that I was gonna meet with.
I had all kinds of really unhelpful stories. Being late, knowing that I was gonna be late, but not able to do anything about it, created so much stress and. and I really realized this had to change because I had a long career in pharmaceutical sales. And if you know anything about pharma sales, you basically have this.
Geography, that's your territory. And then you're doing a lot of driving around to doctor's offices and sometimes you have appointments, sometimes you don't. And I live in the Los Angeles area, so there's a traffic component. That I don't always have control over, right? So I'm basing things off of Google Maps and trying to give myself enough time while also not creating so much buffer that I am being inefficient, right?
So sometimes there were like these decisions that I would have to make where it's like, okay, I have a lunch with Dr. Smith and from where I'm at right now, according to Google Maps, that's gonna take me 45 minutes. Okay, cool. Well, right now I have an hour 15, so I've got like 30 minutes to play with and there's another doctor's office right around the corner from where I'm at currently.
So I'm gonna try to pop in, see that doctor first, and then head over while I'm in this first doctor's. There could be an accident. The traffic situation could change. I might end up waiting, you know, 15 or 20 minutes to see that doctor. Like he might be like, oh, Emily, I'm so glad you're here. I really need to talk to you.
Let me just finish with this patient really quick and then he runs into a treatment room. Well, crap. Now I can't just ghost him because, sorry, gotta go to another appointment. So like things would happen a lot that weren't fully in my control and I had a lot of long drives and so I found myself often driving, looking at the clock.
I kid you not at least every minute, Sometimes it'd be an hour-long drive, so we're talking about me looking at the clock at least 120 times. It was not healthy. It really was not healthy, and so I decided that I wanted to change my relationship with time, and I wanted to change the stories that I was telling myself about what was happening.
So a few things. Number one, I gave myself grace, right? So instead of being like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be late. I'm gonna look so unreliable, I'm gonna look so untrustworthy, I'm gonna look like a person who doesn't follow through on her commitments, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was like, okay, I'm doing my best.
I'm someone who most of the time is on. I am someone who has a track record of being very reliable. This is not the only data point that this person has with me, right? It's one of many. This doctor knows that I'm trustworthy. He knows that when he calls me, he'll get an answer. She knows that I show up when I say I'm gonna show up.
And these are also understanding humans, right? So I don't need to rush in. With all of my ungrounded energy, feeling stressed out, apologizing about the traffic and making a big thing about it, because that's also not helpful for what I'm trying to accomplish, right? In having a professional conversation.
So, can I breathe? Can I calm myself down and can I change my nervous system response to this? So that was the first step. Then I took it a step further and I was like, you know what? What? . This doctor's running behind today too, because that happens a lot. What if something weird happened in their schedule too, where either a patient got behind, a patient needed longer, something changed in their schedule, maybe they tried to fit in an extra patient on this doctor's schedule last minute.
What if I arrive? And that is the very moment that this doctor is finally ready to meet for. It doesn't matter what time we were scheduled for. What if this is the actual time that it works out for this doctor? Ooh, gosh, that feels so much better. And I'll tell you, when I started playing with time and playing with my story around it, changing my nervous system response to being late and playing in the what if.
Around what was happening on the other person's schedule. I cannot even tell you how many times it came true, how many times my being late actually ended up being the timing that corresponded perfectly with this other person. So I love that now, and I use that, but I only use it as a backup. So sometimes where people go wrong is they're like, oh, I'll try that on for size.
And then it becomes like their mainstay, right? And the thing with love of attraction, and the thing with co-creating with Universe is that if it's not in our highest good, it doesn't work out. So if I was someone who was chronically late and then I was just trying to create a story that that didn't ever inconvenience anyone else, that would not be in the highest good of the collective.
So therefore me trying to create that story wouldn't work and I would start to miss appoints, miss opportunities. I would start to have people express their displeasure with me because I would need it called to my attention so that I could clean up the energy and do. , right? So where it works for us and we're, we can be playful with it and actually get results with it, is when we are doing our best and we are setting intentions and we are honoring time.
And then when things don't go quite right, we get playful with it. We play the what if game. We trust that it's all happening for the highest good and you wouldn't believe how often that is. The. . So then especially once I became an entrepreneur and I had way more control over my schedule, I started playing with the concept of time bending and time bending has to do with how we experience time, right?
Because we've all had times when we look at the clock and it's like, holy smokes. How has three hours just flown by? Right? It felt like three minutes and it was three hours. We've also had the reverse where. , it feels like three hours has flown by and it turns out it was actually 30 minutes. What? Why? So with time bending, we can set intentions and we can have fun with specifically saying, okay, universe, I really desire to time bend today.
I'm looking at my schedule and I can see that it has the possibility of being a day where it feels like I'm doing one thing, the next thing, the next thing, the next thing, and the next thing and the day's. But I really want to experience spaciousness in my schedule today. I want it to feel like I have an abundance of time.
So let's do that together. And when I set that intention around time bending, I can't tell you how often I have had that experience where on my schedule, it makes no sense. It does not look like I'm going to feel abundant with time. It does not look like I'm going to feel spaciousness in my schedule. And yet, because I co-created that with the universe, because I set the intention around it, it's like every minute feels like five minutes.
And it feels so spacious and I'm able to like get so much done. I feel like I have time in between calls or meetings to do what I wanna do to go to the bathroom to get a snack. Like I'm not rushing at all. Timeing is so magical to me, and it's something that I write every week on my weekly planner.
There's a part of it that's the universe's to-do list, and I always put time bending in there because then I see it all week too, and it helps. Remind me, and it helps me to continue to have it in my consciousness so that I can help co-create that experience. And it has allowed me to be so much more in my feminine energy to be creative, to feel like I can go slow, like I can savor each moment, like I can be really intentional and really present in each moment.
And. Experience it in a way that feels magical to me as well. So I've not had it where I've just gotten so used to time bending that it doesn't feel magical, like it still feels really special and it still feels like this incredible thing that I have so much gratitude for. . And again, if we try to use it as this tool of like, oh, perfect, I'm gonna set the intention to time Ben today, so therefore I'm gonna add double the things to my to-do list that I would normally add, because now I'm just gonna get all of that done.
It doesn't work like that when we try to use it as like this masculine strategy and this force, and we try to just use it to make ourselves a workhorse again, that's not in the highest good and therefore it falls apart, so you've gotta be in the right energy for it. But I really invite you to play with your relationship with time.
I would love for you to screen. You're listening of this episode. Tag me at m Makes money on Instagram or just tag at Emily June Wilcox on Facebook and let me know how this landed for you. Let me know how you're playing with it, how it's changed your relationship with time. I feel like that would be such a fun thing if I start getting tagged in a bunch of time bending things like for me, for you, for us, right as my mentor, Melanie and Layer always says it.
For me, I'm getting more reminders of time bending for you. You're now sharing it with me, which makes it more real in your life. And then for us, because we get to like collectively turn up the volume on it and start to play with time and start to bend time more regularly, which brings so much more magic and gratitude and appreciation and love and flow into our lives.
So I can't wait to hear your. Let me know how it goes, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Thank you so much for listening to today's show. Changing the way we think, feel, and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that it starts with you tuning in and it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook and tag me. And makes money and you know what moves the needle the most.
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