Episode 19: Growth Often Doesn’t Feel Like Progress and Killing the Ego with Tasha Wall

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Tasha Wall is a “hotness” coach for women who are ready to rock life’s runway. Tasha helps women prepare for a sexy body, business, and bank account.

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https://www.tashawall.com/

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Money Wounds Quiz: https://www.emilywilcox.com/quiz

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Transcript

 

Emily: I will just put a little disclaimer on the front of this show, that it will be explicit. I just know this about Tasha and I want her fully unleashed so that we get like the best version of her. So, little ears probably should not listen to this episode. So find some time when it can just be you and yours or your earbuds because this episode is rated TV, M A L S A.

Tasha: So I started doing like consistent 30 to $40,000 months. And then in my ego death, it was like, here you go $8,000 a month. I was like, basically my worst nightmare because of what I would make it mean, which is you're not moving forward, you're going backwards, this is embarrassing. This is where you were. At three months or three years ago. And I really started thinking about, like, "Tasha, out of all the things you've done in your life this is the thing you're embarrassed about". Cause I've done so much healing on men and sex and things like that. And like "Tasha, you have talked openly about like fucking guys' girlfriends and giving blow jobs in the alleyway for free let me ask"? It was for free, this is for free and I did not receive an orgasm after.

Emily: Hello, beautiful souls. Today's episode is so, so good. And before we jump in, I have some exciting news to share. If you've ever wondered where you're blocking money, this is for you. I've created a free quiz to diagnose your money wounds so you can heal them and unblock yourself to receive more money. Just go to money wounds quiz.com and answer six quick questions to get your insanely accurate and potent results.

And if you're loving my vibe and want to work one-on-one to call in more feminine energy wealth, I would love to hear from you. You can shoot me a DM on social media or go to Emily Willcox.com to learn more. 

Hey, Hey, I've got such a juicy episode for you today. Quickly before we dive in. Many of you have reached out to ask how we can work together. And I do have limited openings to work with me via one-on-one private coaching inside the rise mastermind, and I've actually even opened up a few spots for human design readings. So if you're ready to step into feminine energy wealth, this is for you. If you're serious about ditching those old limiting beliefs, you're tired of having the hustle to grow your business and income, and you're ready to attract more money, joy, and ease from feminine energy, this is for you. If you're tired of being in control all the time and feeling the pressure of your business and your household, then this is for you. If you want to be relaxed and work in life, but don't know how without all the balls dropping, then this is for you. So head to Instagram or Facebook and send me a DM, or you can click the link in the show notes, take the action now that your future self will thank you for.

Welcome to the show. I am super excited today because I have the one and only Tasha Wall, the hotness coach for women who are ready to rock life's runway. She helps women prepare for a sexy body, business and bank account. When you enter her world, her clients and masterclass clients become fully activated with a level of heat. They didn't know it was burning inside them. Tasha, welcome to the show.

Tasha: Thank you for having me.

Emily: I'm super, super excited. And as we always talk about in boxer, I will, just put a little disclaimer on the front of this show that it will be explicit. I just know this about Tasha and I want her fully unleashed so that we get like the best version of her. So the little ears probably should not listen to this episode. So, find some time when it can just be you and yours or your earbuds, because this episode is rated TV, M A L S A.

Tasha: Mature Audience for Language and Sexual content world. 

Emily: So Tasha, you are like one of my favorite people inside of our mastermind because your level of vulnerability and your willingness to just share whatever is going on inside of your head with the group of 18 other women, I think is, like, absolutely remarkable.

Tasha: Thank you. Sometimes I'm just like, what did you just say to the million girls?

Emily: But I love that about you and I get the sense that, like you lean into that feeling. I don't know if you ever feel discomfort around topics anymore, but I get the sense that if you do, you just, like, lean into it.

Tasha: Okay. I used to get discomfort. I guess this is what I feel is like, oftentimes we will have a practice mentor or like a practice mastermind. And it's usually like the first one that you've been in and it tends to wreak havoc on your nervous system and you get very insecure. And so I already had that. So this one, I'm just the full name and what it was is I just was like, I'm paying to be here. I am not walking away without what I wanted to get. And I just be exposed myself to the trauma over and over and over again. And it was, it was dream was hard. But then eventually after doing math, now there's just no room for embarrassment, shame, guilt, weirdness, like it just can't exist.  

Emily: I love that, I love that. And since we're gonna be talking, all things money on this show as well, I have a feeling this conversation is gonna be very non-linear, but I feel like you recently had a breakthrough around, like feeling more shame or embarrassment around a certain dollar amount than other things in your life.

Do you wanna share that? 

Tasha: It's pretty crazy because, Okay. So we have the things that we need to heal, right? So the things that we feel confident in healing, we will openly speak about them. And especially in this industry, there's a lot of celebrations around money and this math and that does matter because that is a representation of our dedication, our knowledge and all of that. And so we get really comfortable sharing the things that we field and then the things that are new to healing, we will not feel as confident about.

So we all know, like I went through a bit of a dark night of the soul last month and I've been on this continuous journey of healing money. And what happens in dark nights of the soul you go through ego death. So typically they'll attack an ego death attacks, your highest point of power. So anything that makes you feel better than stronger than more independent than, and you don't even know you're doing it. So for me attach my physical human, because my body is my point of power. And then my second point of power was money. 

So I'd started doing like consistent 30 to $40,000 a month. And then in my ego death, it was like, here you go it was $8,000 a month. I was like, basically my worst nightmare because of what I would make it mean, which is you're not moving forward, you're going backwards. This is embarrassing. This is where you were at three months or three years ago. And I really started thinking about, like "Tasha out of all the things you've done in your life this is the thing you're embarrassed about"? 

Cause I've done so much healing on men and sex and things like that. And like "Tasha, you have talked openly about like fucking guys' girlfriends and giving blow jobs in the alleyway for free, let me ask"? It was for free, this is for free. And I did not receive an orgasm after. I went through binge eating disorder and I used to take, like, pills to basically make myself have diarrhea, like an $8,000 is the embarrassing thing to me. And I just had to get to this moment of like your beans stupid. Just get over it.

Emily: When you share that, I mean, first of all, it's just, it's so comical because of your willingness to just go there and lay it all out on the line. But it also shows us like the stories that we have around money and what we're making that mean about us and how intrinsically tied in that is with, like our worthiness. That is the thing that feels the most shameful to share. 

Tasha: And somewhere in there somebody else gave a blow job in the alleyway and I now freed them, isn't it true? 

Emily: Exactly, exactly. Well, and I do feel, like, wrapped in that story. It shows how much healing you have done around sexual shame, because certainly for many, many people listening, like that would be the part that they would be. Very scared to disclose, but for you, you're like being there healed that, it's the 8K a month that I'm still working on healing the story around.

Tasha: Because, I want it to be the one who's skyrocketed and never looked back, and having an income Jeb going from $40,000 to $8,000 that's not the story I wanted. And sometimes growth doesn't look like progress and we use money as a gauge for something. And what I realize is like I was using money as a gauge for.

Okay, now I'm worthy of, or for basically being able to lean back. When I make this much, I can lean back. Once I hit this much, I can lean back. Once I hit, relax.  

Emily: Well, and the timing was interesting too, because it was right when you were deciding about whether or not to rejoin the mastermind for another year, which is like a really significant financial investment. So I'm wondering too, if there was a part of you that was like, okay, by the time I'm finished with this year, I'm gonna be at this amount per month and then I'll be able to re-up and it'll feel really easy. 

Tasha: That's what I wanted it to be. So I did to become time in for enrollment. It's a no-brainer like it was to be. And obviously like living in Melanie's world, she grows so fast. Her prices grow so fast and it feels, it can feel, like this I'm trying to keep up with the growth, right? But I wanted the story to be was, I'm making a $100,000 a month, this isn't easy $10,000.

Emily: Right. 

Tasha: And that would have felt like me and my power, but what it ended up looking like was I just had my lowest month ever. And here I am, re-enrolling in the biggest and even bigger investment and that also is power.

Emily: I would argue that that's more power. It's just hella uncomfortable.

Tasha: And the ultimate fear really is just debt, because I've never had debt in my life. I've, I started a business with $0 and to me, debt was the ultimate failure because that's the thing I've never had. And so I had to go through a month where essentially my business went into a deficit for that month. And really I had to zoom out on the big picture and say, okay, yes, that month my business went into deficit, but for the year, I'm still times three, times four. And then we get with time all in there and everything too.

Emily: I think that's super, super important. So I'm really glad you're sharing it because there's so many ways that we weaponize time and money against ourselves. And even the stories we've created around what a powerful move looks like. Right? In your mind, it was gonna be more powerful to be at a 100K a month and be able to just easily re-enroll.

Well, it actually takes a lot more power to say, "I'm gonna commit to something for the next year". That actually costs more money than I made this month. 

Tasha: And this was where it came down to the difference between making a decision for knowing. Because sometimes that happens and making a decision from trusting and sometimes the most more powerful thing is a lesson in trust and making the decision while in trust, knowing that you could fall on your face and you just trust that you'll handle it. Even when that happens. 

Emily: Totally like something that's just been revealed to me in the last couple of days is that I was wanting to follow my intuition and make very soul guided decisions because my ego had decided that if I did that, then I would get the outcome that I wanted.

Tasha: It's so fucked up. I like the ego finds these tiny little loopholes and you don't even realize you did it.

Emily: And you like in the ego will use, like spiritual things too. So you think you're being, like, so spiritual, so soul guided and really, it goes just like, that's cute. I'll let you make decisions from your intuition because then intuition won't steer us wrong.

So we'll get the exact outcome we want. And it's like, and it had to be revealed to me, of course, by not getting the outcome that I wanted, from a decision that still I can feel what a full body. Yes. The decision felt like. So I know that I actually was tuned into my intuition, that I was making the decision from an aligned place, but the outcome is unfolding very differently and it's like, well, our soul wants what's for our highest good. And what's for our highest good often comes wrapped up looking like an obstacle, like a roadblock, like a red light and like a dead end.

Tasha: The face of, I'm in a power suit, fortunately.

Emily: So again, that's one of the things that I love about you is I feel like you are really good at articulating this inner process and kind of like deconstructing your decision-making and your thought process around things. And you take all of us with you on the journey in a way that's super fun. And you know, for those of you who aren't in Tasha's world yet. Cause you're gonna want to be. And at the end of this show, I'm gonna make sure that you know how to follow her and connect with her. But if you've never seen Tasha, like, she's freaking gorgeous.

I'm looking at her right now and she's in an eighties prom dress. That's like the deepest, like V plunge. It's like totally strapless off the shoulder. She's got gorgeous long dark hair, that's like perfect. She just looks incredible. And when you look at her on Instagram, it's like the same thing. It's like picture after picture. She does all these creative wigs and interesting styles, but, like she just looks like she could be on the cover of a magazine and you know, just in full transparency. 

The first time I saw that and she calls herself the hotness coach, I was like, this bitch is so superficial. It's all about the physical and that you meet Tasha. And she is like, Psychic as hell. She's like using her intuition, tapping in like channeling for you and for her clients to get to like down to not even just the feeling level of what's going on behind things, but like the soul level. And it's been so cool and like healing for me too. Experience  the fullness of you and like the duality and that both can exist together. And it's actually like a really cool, beautiful marriage of the physical and the metaphysical. 

Tasha: Okay. So here's the thing. Is that, I use my body as a tool to channel. And so, because of the way that I eat and because of the way that I exercise and this math it's constantly clearing out the energy so it is the tool. And also, like, let's say you're stepping into a container where there's a lot of powerful women and maybe some of them are making three, four or five times as much as you, and you've got to be able to stand in your power while you're with somebody who you perceive as stronger, more, better than you.

The only reason why I'm able to do that is because I hold power in my body. And I somehow can channel that to be able to still show up as myself and stay confident and show up. But side, the people making 300, 400, $100,000, $3 million, like all of that. Right? And I strongly believe that I channeled through my nipples, vibes, I believe that I said. But we send energy out of it. 

Emily: Of course, of course you would have that belief. 

Tasha: You asked to stop scrolling when my nipples are there, like you have to. But so, because my strongest point of power is my body. I typically have led with my body a lot and then also brought my soul along with, but my new rebirth and transformation is, I'm starting to lead a lot more with my soul.

My soul is now the stronger energy between my soul and my body. So for people who have very strong humans, it is harder to get your soul to overpower your human. If you've been through a lot of like tough stuff, if you like have a lot of very masculine structure and stuff in your life, And what happens is your soul is always trying to talk to your human, but constantly my human would argue with my soul and I was aware, I was like no soul.

Actually, I wanna charge $3,000 more than that. I don't wanna charge what you say, No soul, I'm pretty sure I want a boob job. And my soul was like, and so there would be this constant feud between my human and my soul. And when you go through an ego death, you have no choice, but to start listening to your soul. And so this new phase is like being more guided by soul. My body is just there. My body's never gonna, like, I don't even have to mention my body because it's so obvious. It is gonna think, so soul guided.

Emily: I love that. And I'm curious in your business. Do you tend to attract clients that are more interested in the body of transformation or that are more interested in the intuitive guidance or is it a mix?

Tasha: In the beginning days. It was more the body transformations. So that tends to be all my passive income now. And now because I've intentionally tweaked my marketing. It's a lot of women who have already mastered body and we have that in common. And so now they speak the same language. There's something very specific about someone who's gone through a body transformation or feels things inside their body. Now you're speaking the same language and now you can evolve in business together. And so now I'm attracting more intuitives and everything like that. Almost everyone is an entrepreneur now.

Emily: That's so interesting. And I love it because like we do get to grow and evolve in our businesses and we get to play and do what feels fun in the moment.

Tasha: There's so many different phases. I'm sure all of us had that phase of when we were coaching every day women, right? We were coaching everyday women and then we have switched to more like entrepreneurs or whatever it is. So that's why I think it's really awesome to have in your business, different levels and stages and different opportunities for people to either access your content or you, because although you might be past the everyday woman phase of your life, that is important.

Emily: Well, and that you haven't like burned down the old in order to create the new, right? You still have recipes and cookbooks and meal plans and programs available for women that, you know, are trying to lose 20 pounds. And I think that's so cool, right? That all of that can still serve and get them into your world. And then maybe they do evolve into wanting a deeper relationship with you. And, you know, they are a woman in business. They are an entrepreneur and then they wanna jump into your mastermind or they wanna jump into, like a one-on-one coaching relationship with you. 

Tasha: And you know, a really recent break here that I had. Cause I'm pretty sure all, most of us entrepreneurs have been through a phase where we were doing a lot of lifting with clients because that was a reflection of where we were at. And then what we do is really, we realize that's too hard. And so we transitioned into a different business model. And then what we do is accidentally we start avoiding the old business model and we'll put up defense mechanisms in prevent that heavy lifting and, and we can do this with price points as well. 

So we can have in our head what we pictured, the quote unquote high-level woman can pay and then we'll price something in order to avoid what we picture to be the lower level woman or beginner. And we'll be like, okay, I'm gonna price it here. So that annoying people can't pay it. And then we start using money as a tool to put up defense mechanisms, but money is not related to value or the type of client. Cause there's high level clients at $200 price points. It's just really just alignment. And are we, we mind fuck ourselves in so many of these different little ways.

Emily: I think it's a great point. And to me it speaks to the value of having a coach or a mentor or being in a mastermind because these things can be so subtle that it's pretty difficult to unpack them on our own. You know, it's like, I'm feeling a little something with my pricing. What is it? Can you help me figure this out and getting some feedback?

Tasha: Yes. And we will blame the price point for the type of clients that attracts, but really it's the reflection of where we are at. That's attracting the clients. It's not the price point. And then we blame the price point. 

Emily: I know. It's super interesting. And I find that so many of my breakthroughs, like it starts with, like just a little whisper.

It's like something just feels just like a little bit off or there's evidence of something being a little bit off, right? The new clients aren't coming in or the revenue levels not quite where you want it to be, but then it's.

It's kind of like finding the needle in the haystack because it's not this glaring shouting thing. And then, you know, and it'd be easy to ignore if you were actually very committed to leaning in and going deeper.

Tasha: That's probably not worth mentioning or I'll just sit on it a little longer. It'll sort itself out and then you just look at that tiny little, the cool thing is, is that once you've done all this work, it's a little tweak that makes a huge difference. But you often need an intuitive or a mentor to help you find that little tweak because it's so buried under weird shit.

Emily: And I'm usually, like under a few layers of defensiveness too. Right? Cause I know as you've been exploring your price points, like there was a while where it was, like, no I like my price exactly where it is at. And then it was like a few days later, you know, here's what I'm thinking or here's what I'm feeling. And it took you a few weeks to kind of come to the ultimate conclusion of what was actually happening.

Tasha: So what can happen sometimes, or in my instance is we will price something maybe fairly high cause we have in our heads, somebody who's gonna take a lot of lifting, but we'd still be okay with it. So we're like, okay, I have in my head, this person. And based on the people I've taken in the past, not based on the even better client. And then we will price according to that structure, instead of the price that actually just comes through from your soul. Cause we'll be like no soul that's too cheap, soul.

You're screwing me over here. Fuck you assault and listening. And so if we were actually picture a really easy client who didn't take lifting at all, and actually you guys were just rising and she was on par with your intuition on par with your power and everything was on par and you just bounced off one another, like a pier suddenly that doesn't feel like I have to charge a billion dollars for it.

Emily: Right. Yes. I love that. And I'm like, I'm really excited for you with this breakthrough to see like the next wave of clients that you call in. Because I just have this feeling that you're gonna be in Voxer every day being like you guys.

Tasha: I love, love, love, love, love, love, love the clients that I'm working with right now. These women are amazing and I intend to attract really like sexually liberated. I attracted, like I work with like strippers, or like Escorts or X Escorts, like people who are really wanting to kind of like own their slots, you know, I tend to  type of women because I finally, you know, what's the most healing thing to look at back at something you're ashamed of and look, like it's just a hilarious joke. 

Once I stopped thinking about that stupid blow job in the alleyway is like, oh my God, you were on your knees and this man. He barely knew your name. And I was like, it's a funny, fucking joke. You were just owning your power. That's owning your sexuality and probably he's gonna talk about you till the day he dies.

Tasha: I'm not surprised at all that that's the type of woman that you attract because you are so in your power around sexuality and like there's zero ounce of shame in you and judgment. Right? And so when I think about like, you know, women who have been sex workers, like they get judged all the time. So, of course, they're not gonna want to hire a coach or a mentor that's gonna have even, like one ounce of judgment against them for the choices that they've made.

Tasha: And Cassie was so healing for me from the hyper mine too. And I know she's probably gonna come on your podcast as well. Just when you own it, just when you're on it. Because she has a background in adult films, she came and she was like, "I was in porn and it was really fun". And I was like, "what's"? Then all the stuff I did was really fun too.

Emily: I love that. Well, and you know, like I came into the hyper mind and I was immediately like, so triggered around all of the sex stuff and I, but I knew I was like, okay, this is coming forward for me. Clearly there sexual shame to be healed and like more empowerment that can happen. And so I just kind of, like leaned into it and started having, you know, tough conversations like with my partner and started like doing more healing with myself and reading books and like, and it's been amazing. It's like, as soon as we start looking at all of our triggers as, like something that's coming up for healing, it's like, it's up to us. Do we wanna stay triggered? Or are we ready to lean in and look at it?

Tasha: The funniest part of all of it is how vanilla I have now. But he'd tell my husband about my past, because then he's gonna remember that blow jobs exist. Don't tell him!

Emily: I know. Well, this is the duality of Tasha. You were just, you know, you hold it all. And I love that about you as well.

Tasha: I own, I fully own my vanillaness  as well do.

Emily: There's nothing wrong with it. As long as you're not desiring something else. And then just getting stuck with vanilla. 

Tasha: I just don't need to be spanked, choked and thrown against the wall to have an orgasm. I'm, I can have an orgasm missionary, like, I simple missionary sex, and I've convinced my husband it's the best sex he's ever had in his life. 

Emily: It probably is.

Tasha: You know why? Because it's, it's soul connected. Can take something super simple and add something like eye contact and all of a sudden you uplevel it like 10 times.

Emily: No, I totally agree, like I hear, you know, some of the shares in the hyper mind around sex, I'm like, that just sounds like a lot of work like. 

Tasha: You know what Tasha, you need to play with yourself for like two hours. I'm like, what two hours I could watch in two hours? What am I doing for two hours?

I just like, have three snacks, watch Kardashians and have nobody else touch my privates for two hours. I don't know what y'all are doing for two hours, but I'm good with that. 

Emily: Yes, totally. And that's like, you know, my Enneagram three, like very wired for efficiency. I'm like, woo. It was very, like inefficient use of time.

Tasha: And do you have kids because. I'm pretty sure my kids have their headphones on in the kitchen and this has got to get her done, 

Emily: We're on the clock buddy. I love it. So I'm curious, like, have you always been an entrepreneur? Did you ever work like a nine to five corporate job before you became the hotness coach?

Tasha: I worked as a server and I was the worst server in the world. Cause I would not smile. I wouldn't smile because I don't just walk around with a smile. So men would say to me like," Ooh, okay and can I get a smile with that"? And I would literally be like. "Can you say something funny"? Because, why would I smile anyways?

I did serving jobs and that was mostly what I did before I became an entrepreneur. I also worked with people with disabilities too. I know, crazy way. And then I became a personal trainer working at a gym and then I broke off and started my own personal training business. And that was the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. So I've been an entrepreneur for 14 years. 

Emily: Interesting. So you know, this is way more than one episode's worth. If we were really to go through all of the money wounds and all of like the deconditioning around limiting beliefs. But I'm curious if there were like a few big ones that stand out to you. That you had to heal in order to step into bigger levels of wealth.

Tasha: Massively. So I never even thought about money and tell after my second son. It was always just, I always had enough. I just felt like I had a super healthy relationship with money and it was never a worry, I wasn't loaded, but I had my personal training business and then I had my second son and I just, life was so busy with between postpartum depression and him having colic. And balancing as a mom that my business just crashed. I had no nothing in my cup to take clients and I, I just had no clients anymore. And it was all referral based. I was making maybe up to $10,000 a month. And then when it crashed, I was forced to pivot because I had no time.

I couldn't just take hourly clients. And then my business was born, but there was a huge wounding there because I had never seen my bank account go down like that. And my clients go down like that. Of course it was the blessing I always needed. But in that moment, I had to rely on my husband for money for the first time ever. And that took a lot from my self worth. That wasn't fun for me, even though he had no problem with it, it made me feel crappy. So that was the biggest one because after that, I always had a fear of clients running out or money running out. Because it was my first experience with it running outside. I spent a lot of years white-knuckling.

Emily: So, do you feel like there were certain money wounding that you had from childhood? Any feelings around there's not enough or you have to work hard for money or people that have too much money are, you know, evil or bad and taking it away from the rest of us? 

Tasha: So the fear of debt for sure, came from my childhood because my parents, like my parents, are blown away that I have a mortgage still, because buy a house for $30,000 and paid off in five years, constantly talk to me about debt and like the fear of debt and this and that. And then it also affected my worthiness around receiving money and where it showed up post was receiving money from men. And it showed up mostly in like dating.

My parents, for example, my parents would never take us out for dinner. That wasn't a thing that we did. And if we did, it was like you order water, you don't order chocolate milk or water. And so I noticed that as a single woman, I couldn't get guys to take me on a date. It was like, I didn't feel worthy of being spent on. And if I did, I would immediately feel I owed them a hand job.

Not for this sandwich. So what would happen is, I was always really good at getting my desires, like getting the guy, getting the hot guy, but never in the way that I wanted. And I wasn't able to keep them around. And it was because of worthiness. What I really wanted was a man to hold me and take care of me. And I just attracted douchebags where I had to pay for everything. And so once I worked on that, like it was money and worthiness and men was so wrapped up together. And once I kind of worked on that, then I found my husband.

Emily: Interesting. So it feels to me like maybe you were able to heal a lot of your relationship with money through your relationship with your body and self-image.

Tasha: Okay, now I'm super hot. So now I deserve the date. Now I'm super hot. So now I deserve to be wifed up. So that was and although that's not the angle I would take now. That was the first step that I had to build to like feeling worthy. 

Emily: I can see that for sure. So how did you go from, as you call it white knuckling and your business, which I think we can agree as masculine energy, right? The grip, the control, the needing it to be a certain way to having a little bit more trust or a little more feminine energy around the business and receiving of money. 

Tasha: Melanie was the biggest turning point for me there because before it was, I would always change what I was doing. And there was a piece of that that helped me grow. But Melanie was the thing in helping me go deeper. And once I learned the defense mechanism. That's when things really broke through for me. So I'm trying to think if I could, like pinpoint it and I don't think I can, like pinpoint it to one thing, like just constantly asking questions, just constantly bringing stuff to the table. Well, you know what it is identifying fear. Because it was always me white knuckling was me running away from the fear.

Emily: And it was like the fear of that primarily you think, or the fear of.

Tasha: Running away from the income dip. So like, okay, I'm not chasing money anymore, but then instead of chasing money, I would run away from the dip, again a mind fuck. And I'd be like, but I'm not chasing money. I don't understand. 

Emily: I'm not chasing money. I just need to hit exactly what I hit last month or more and we're good.

Tasha: To say that I succeeded to say that I grew because my worst nightmare is not growing. My worst nightmare is going backwards because I've worked too hard to go backwards.

Emily: And what does it mean about you if you go backwards? 

Tasha: And then not having to prove myself anymore. Cause once, so it was okay. I have to prove myself to men. Okay. So now I've healed that. So then what I was doing is I have to prove myself as a powerhouse in the industry so that I am worthy of people hiring me so that we can do life together. Cause that's what I want. And then once I realized if women were not hiring me because I was a powerhouse and they were just hiring me. Because they felt so connection that brought me back to home. 

Emily: And it's so interesting, right? Because it's kind of like, Bernay Brown's work around the power of vulnerability. We all want these perfectly buttoned up stories. I started my business and my income grew every month and that's the way it is, but I can still help you if you're getting started, because I still remember what it was like to be there then. And it's like, I feel like there's a lot of, kind of like fake, vulnerable shares in the coaching space. 

I'm gonna write something out and it's gonna sound really vulnerable, but it's all wrapped in the most perfect pretty well. And you know, and I'm like the hero of my own story. And it's like, when we're actually willing to experience the feeling and share the fear, it's like, we think that, that's like the very thing that's gonna repel clients from us. And instead, it's the thing that magnetizes them to us because they're like, she actually gets it. What I've been through. 

Tasha: Exactly. And if we compare this, like, even if you look at, like, let's say, if you were looking at a husband to marry and you were scared to tell him maybe how many men you slept with. And that he wasn't gonna marry you because of it.

It's the same thing as money. Right? So if we're scared to tell the women that we had an income dip or that we're struggling with this, or we're struggling that whatever the surface level thing is, that means they don't actually love you. They don't actually like you, they just like that it's up to you. So as long as we're hiding the thing on the surface level, cause the other thing that we will do too, is we won't share the vulnerable thing until it's seven years in the past. 

Emily: Yes. 

Tasha: It's all healed now I'll share it. 

Emily: Right? And that's the fake vulnerable share.

Tasha: Exactly.

Emily: Yes, we are sharing something vulnerable, but it's so freaking healed at this point that there's zero fear around sharing it. Instead of like the post where it really is your growth edge, you're like scared to hit posts. You almost don't even want to read the comments, that's a real vulnerable share. 

Tasha: And you don't have to like say every nitty gritty detail, but you can still share what, you know, you can still try to, okay, this is something really cool and marketing that has taken a big turn for me is instead of looking at pain points and clients and this man, and like what I think the client needs to hear instead looking at what am I going through right now? And what is the lesson I've extracted from it? And okay, so maybe I don't want to like share every intimate detail, but I'll still share links and the lesson to where I am right now, so that I can attract someone who's on par to me right now, client who is on par with me five years ago, a fake vulnerable share where you're sharing the thing that you healed five years ago. You're just fucking yourself over because you're now not attracting clients on par with you. You're attracting clients who are where you were five years ago. So all you're doing is like, down level in your audience.

Emily: This is such a mic drop. This is such a mic drop because this happens all the time.

Tasha: There are diluting because you're diluting your fear. You're diluting your energy. So now what you're doing is you're attracting the lesser version of you because you're diluting it. And now you're making yourself invisible to the people who are on par with you. 

Emily: I also wonder Tasha if we attract clients that want us to be their savior when we do that, because essentially like we're sharing something that's so healed that it's like, I kind of feel like we would then tend to attract the client that's like. She can totally help me with this. She's gonna fix this for me instead of when we can share something that's a little more current, a little more raw, a little more vulnerable.

We're actually attracting the client that says, like, I see her in her power and I want to be near her. Not, she's gonna fix my ish for me. 

Tasha: Cause you basically put yourself on a pedestal. I totally, I agree with that a hundred percent. And here's even something that I could today tweet is "What we'll find or what I do". My strategy, my masculine energy thing to do when I'm not feeling inspired or I'm just feeling blessed or mad. And I don't feel like I can come up with a post sometimes I'll just go back to like some old content that did really good and I'll reuse the old content, put a new picture and basically bandaid my energy, essentially be realized.

Where if I did the thing, that would be a little bit harder and drop into my feeling of meth and make a post in my meth, that would probably actually be more efficient than the old post. And it's not that we can't do a little mixture of both, but again, we're doing the easy thing by just reusing the posts that we know got a lot of engagement, so that we can create a false, energetic high on our page while we're feeling a neutral. Because we think neutral, quote unquote bad. 

Emily: This is so interesting. Not where I expected the conversation to go, but I feel like I'm connecting so many dots right now. It's really, really cool. And it reminds me of what our mentor Melanie teaches in her cash program, which is that "People think that they can only sell when they're high vibe, but it's actually that we can only sell one we're in our authenticity".

So if we think we can only sell when we're high vibe and then the rest of the time we're faking it. And we're pretending to be high vibe, it doesn't work, right? But we could actually sell from meth. We could actually sell from sadness. We could actually sell from annoyance if we allowed ourselves to show up authentically in that energy.

Tasha: Because that is alignment and because the connection always overrides.

So. That's like, I'm, I'm the same. I'm still putting, like, dots together on all of that. It's pretty cool. If I just have breakthroughs there.

Emily: Totally. And we're, like, learning through this conversation, so we'll have to have a part two once we've, like, more embodied and integrated all of this. 

Tasha: Well, cause the yang, right?

So there's the light and the dark. So the shadow is just as magnetizing as the light. When you just allow yourself to be in the shadow that's half of your energy. That's all, that's the lusty or feeling that's the root or feeling that the more sacred sort of feelings. And so by embracing your shadow and being in your shadow and allowing yourself to use magnetism, to pull things in from that space, if you happen to be in that space, and if you happen to be in light, then pull things in from the light.

Well, actually like the shadow is more of a like pull in and the light is more of a blast out like an expansion energy. And I think that comes down to like the inhale and exhale of life. Right? Do you can't always be exhaling the light? You've also got to be inhaling, exhale that's part of what that's what gives your business life in a heartbeat? Yes. So without the shadow piece, without the inhale and exhale, it's just a layer of you. It's not actually the life of you. It's not your heart. It's not connected to your heart. It's essentially dead energy. 

Emily: I love that. And just trusting both, right? The inhale and the exhale. It's such a good analogy because it's like, we equally need both. Right? And I've heard a poet write about whales and it's like, "Whales need to dive deep in the ocean". That's super important for them. It's where they eat, they play, they do all this kind of stuff, but they also equally have to come up to the surface to breathe.

Tasha: Both.

Emily: So they need the depth and they need the surface. And I think, often worry, they're judging the inhaler, the exhale we're we want to be deep all the time. And we judge, when we have to come back up to the surface, instead of just accepting the path, the path that there's actually so much divine intelligence in the way that we're built and the way that we're supposed to do life.

Tasha: And here's a really cool way that we could find balance with, like working and also relaxing is like, let's say there are entrepreneurs out there who sell everything evergreen. And so that's all like old content, old energy, but, but what you'll see with them, like Amanda Francis is an example. She's got everything on evergreen, but most of her posts are present, present. Most of the time she's posting, she's pulling inspiration from where she is right now. And feel pulling in other people who are a little further back in their money journey, but because her energy right now is present, I think that's what's keeping the life in her business. I mean, I don't know the behind the scenes, but I feel like that's probably a good efficient way.

Tasha: Absolutely. It's like just playing with the energetics and you know, and, and you have stuff that's older too. And like I've seen you still like loving that version of yourself. Honoring her and honoring the women that are a match for that. Right? So it's like, I think it's the judgment around it or the feeling that it's old and therefore it's not as good because we don't resonate as much with it now. It's like that story is what makes it bad. It doesn't have to be bad. You know, I've listened to some of Melanie's stuff from six or eight months ago and I'm blown away by it. For me, it still feels great right now, probably for her. If she listened to it, she could see how far she's come since then. 

Tasha: And trusting people will be guided to what they're supposed to get out of it. 

Emily: Absolutely. So on this topic, I'm curious, like, do you have any financial goals or dreams around like passive versus I guess we'll call it active income each month. 

Tasha: Okay. So if I had to like, write out the dream scenario, I feel like I would be doing at least say $10,000 or, you know, it'd be cool if all my passive stuff covered, basically my bills and my needs, quote, unquote me. And if my current staff, my active income was overflow, I feel like that would feel super good to me. My, then my active stuff would just feel optional. That would feel cool. So actually thank you for that question.

Emily: I like that. And I can feel your energy around it. This feels really fun. Yes. 

Tasha: So then anything that feels sort of annoying to pay or heavy to pay would just be default. And then additional would just be extra the stuff that really lights you up. 

Emily: I love that. Awesome. Well listen, can you share where you are hanging out on the internet, how people can follow you and connect with you?

Tasha: So on Facebook, I'm just Tasha Wall, the hotness coach, and then on Instagram I'm @Tash Wall. So no A in the Tasha. So Tash will fit on Instagram, so I'm just licensed. 

Emily: Wait, I thought you were on TikTok too. I see you have TikTok videos all the time.

Tasha: I forgot about those. Same thing, Tasha Wall, and then my website is Tasha Wall.com.

Emily: Beautiful. I know everyone's gonna  want to connect with you and follow you. Your energy is so magnetic and I just want to thank you for being on the show. I feel like in true Tasha style, we went deep, hard, fast. 

Tasha: That was good. I wasn't expecting to have breakthroughs on the podcast.

Emily: Me either added bonus. We like working through some stuff. We both connected a bunch of dots around messaging and the energetics behind it. So, hopefully that's been a breakthrough for everyone listening. So if that blew your mind, if you're connecting the dots on that stuff, share it on social media. Tag Tasha and I so that we can see your breakthrough as well. And thank you so much for listening.

Thank you so much for listening to today's show. Changing the way we think, feel and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that it starts with you tuning in and it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook and tag me at Em Makes Money. And you know, what moves the needle the most, taking just a minute to leave a five-star review on iTunes, the show isn't free to produce.

So let's multiply those dollars invested to help the show reach a bigger audience each week.

Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it. And lastly, if you want more connection, more and make money style riffs, and a safe place on the internet to talk about money, jump into my free Facebook group, the money club. It's linked in the show notes. Until next time I'm wishing you health, happiness, and boatloads of money.