Episode 14: Healing Inner Child Wounds with Kelly Rolfe
Kelly Rolfe is a life coach who specializes in helping women learn how to love themselves fiercely.
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There's no trust that it's gonna keep being there. And beyond that, when you don't have money, when you're raised in a status of poverty and I wouldn't necessarily, you know, label our situation that way, but it was like, there wasn't enough for extras. There wasn't enough for vacations or name brands or any of the things. That you know, we so much as children desire.
Emily: Welcome to the Em Makes Money podcast. With me, your host, Emily Wilcox, serial entrepreneur, seven figure business owner, mindset junkie, creator of the money moves wealth attraction program, and a collector of crystals. My mission is to help you attract lasting wealth, ditch the hustle for money culture, and build the life and business of your dreams with an ease and joy you never thought possible.
Each week a new episode will air featuring expert advice, live coaching and guest interviews, where we'll dive into the specifics of how much money we make, which money wounds we've healed and how we've tapped into our divine feminine energy to attract more money with ease.
We all deserve a healthy, empowered relationship with money so we can experience more freedom, pleasure and joy. So get ready and let's dive in.
Hey, Hey, I've got such a juicy episode for you today. Quickly before we dive in. Many of you have reached out to ask how we can work together. And I do have limited openings to work with me via one-on-one private coaching inside the rise mastermind, and I've actually even opened up a few spots for human design readings.
So if you're ready to step into feminine energy wealth, this is for you. If you're serious about ditching those old limiting beliefs, you're tired of having the hustle to grow your business and income, and you're ready to attract more money, joy, and ease from feminine energy, this is for you. If you're tired of being in control all the time and feeling the pressure of your business and your household, then this is for you. If you want to be relaxed and work in life, but don't know how without all the balls dropping, then this is for you. So head to Instagram or Facebook and send me a DM, or you can click the link in the show notes. Take the action now, that your future self will thank you for.
Hello and welcome back to the show.
I am so excited because today I have a special guest Kelly Rolfe, who is joining virtually from Ontario, Canada. She's a licensed business coach. Who specialises in self-love and embodiment practices to help women live their life authentically and in alignment. So, Kelly, thank you so much for being on the show.
Kelly: Thank you so much for having me, I'm really excited.
Emily: I am too. You and I had the pleasure of talking last week for your love yourself fiercely podcast. And we just dove into all things, inner child healing. And just went so deep, which is my love language. And so I'm excited for us to continue the conversation here, but also to dig more into your money story and just limiting beliefs around money and money wounding and all of that kind of stuff, because obviously it's also intertwined with our inner child and you know, the messaging that she received growing up.
So, yeah, should we just jump right into that? What do you think?
Kelly: Let's do it, let's do it.
Kelly: So I'll just kind of give you a synopsis of a little bit of what my upbringing looked like, which will lay the foundation. I think for this conversation, I was raised in a air quotes broken home. So, my mom was a single woman raising me and my brother and my father was remarried and eventually had two other children with his wife. And so my mom raised us by herself for the most part. And there was a lot of adult turmoil between my parents and we were not shielded from it. It was very abrupt and very tumultuous to say the least. And most of the time it was about money. And so, you know, my mom was not the mom who kept things from us.
It was very well known that, you know, money didn't grow on trees and she was doing the best that she can. She could, but there was never enough money. And then when we were pre-teens she moved us out of the city center. So we were living just outside of Toronto. And as we started to grow, she recognized that like, it wasn't really a safe place for a single woman to raise kids because we were on our own pretty young in order for her to go to work.
So she moved us to, I think the Americans call the suburbs and we were plunked in this new environment that was much safer. As a community, but also was a very wealthy community. And so we went from this, you know, knowing that there wasn't enough to now being very clearly. In a situation where we had less than. And so you can only imagine the kind of wounding that comes from both sides of that, you know, experience. And so there was never enough was really just always at the forefront of every decision, I think I've ever made up until the last five or so years when I really started to dive deep into my, my money wounds and my money blocks.
Emily: And that was something that you and I have in common, even though our upbringings were so different. And it's something that I find fascinating when we do this inner child work, because as adults, we can look at our upbringing and very clearly see where our parents were like, doing the best that they could, or we totally understand why they made those decisions. Or in my case, it's like, my upbringing was pretty darn good, but my inner child was still like, but money is a source of conflict and there's not enough. And that's a very, very scary thing. Our inner child isn't like, oh, there are children starving in Africa.
So you actually have a pretty lucky kid. So it's just interesting to me that, you know, if you compare our two childhoods on paper, I think you would pick mine. Most people would and yet both of us emerged with still a deep seated feeling of there's not enough. And so I'm also curious. One of my coping mechanisms was to really suppress my wants, needs and desires to avoid conflict or to avoid putting my parents in a situation that I perceived. Might make them uncomfortable. Was that one of your coping mechanisms or how did you handle it?
Kelly: I think I rebelled a lot and just as I was growing. So, adolescents early twenties, I very much rebelled and just had this belief, like there's never gonna be enough, so I might as well do whatever the hell I want. And I was very irresponsible with money, very irresponsible. It was like, I just needed to fit in, in our community so badly that the moment I was eligible for credit, I took it and I was able to kind of just be in a different experience where, you know, I felt as though I fit in economic status of where I was raised, which was such a source of tension being, you know, not having my own money, not having a job growing up. And that always being like, we just can't do that. And so initially I rebelled with money and I was highly irresponsible. And then when I had my daughter, I had my daughter at 25.
That I think when I had her was really when the patterning came to the forefront. And then it was like, well, I'm responsible for another human being. I have no savings, I don't know how to budget. I'm really in over my head. And I started to, I was afraid of money, to be honest, I didn't feel safe with it. I didn't feel safe having it and I didn't feel safe not having it. It was a very interesting season of my life. I would say I did all the things I quote unquote should so that we would be okay. But there was always, this there's never enough or there's just enough.
Kelly: I always just had enough and so I didn't feel safe with money at all.
Emily: That's so interesting. And you know, I think you bring up a pattern that is worth talking about because sometimes what happens when there is a deeper level of poverty, is this idea of when money comes, we might as well spend it. Let's just blow it. Let's splurge because it's almost like, live like today's your last day sort of a thing. That's the kind of the relationship with money because there's never this feeling of. Oh, well, it's gonna come and it's gonna keep coming, and if I just keep putting it away, then eventually there'll be a big enough amount that I can really change my circumstances. It's like, nope, there's this little windfall. It's probably never gonna come again. So what the hell seize the day let's do something fun with that.
Kelly: Absolutely, you're absolutely right.
There's no trust that it's gonna keep being there. And beyond that, when you don't have money, when you're raised in a status of poverty and I wouldn't necessarily, you know, label our situation that way, but it was like, there wasn't enough for extras. There wasn't enough for vacations or name brands or any of the things that, you know, so much as children desired.
It was this belief that if our worth was tied in the ability to buy these things, because we felt so incredibly unworthy in our community, there was a lot of labeling in our community, on us as the kids from the broken home, right? The single mom home. And, you know, it's much more common now, but It wasn't in that community at that time, it was like, we were just not the normal family that existed in that community. And so when I started to be able to have my own money, it was like, if I buy these things, I then become worthy of being part of this community.
Emily: So then we fast forward and you're a mother, you're raising your daughter and you have a relationship with money where I can't trust it, I really want it. But then when it's here, I kind of really wanna spend it, so that it's not here because I don't feel safe with it, but I don't feel safe without it. And I've also made this mean something about my worth as a human, and now maybe even my worth as a mother and you know, whether or not I'm succeeding at that new role.
So, and of course, all of this is happening subconsciously. So I'm really curious. At what point did you learn about doing that? Inner child healing. At what point did there become any awareness of like, oh, this is my own inner work to do. This is really unhealthy. And that's what's actually going to change this.
Kelly: So you nailed it, that it then became my worth as a mother because I found myself as a single mom. So I had this, like, moment in time, I'm in my mid twenties. Now I'm, like, younger than the average mom and this over wealthy community that I grew up in. And now, I'm the single mom, I'm the young single mom. And I was like, holy crap, here we go. Now it's a whole new level of fear around what people think about me. And then in turn, how they'll treat my daughter in our community. And so I, you know, spent our money on all the things that outwardly made us look like we had had it together and I started my personal development journey.
That's how what started for me was I really just had this strong desire to change the generational patterns of how the women in my family talked about themselves and treated themselves. And really just, I wanted an opportunity for my daughter, not to ever question her worth. And so I started that journey when she was about two, I would say, and fast forward a year and a half, and I became an entrepreneur. And it was when I really stepped into entrepreneurship that I recognized I was like, knee deep, maybe way steep in my personal development journey as well.
So I had really started to uncover my own subconscious programming a little bit, my own limiting beliefs, my own lack of self-worth, my own lack of self-love. And I was really exploring that. And then I started my business. And I really started my business, so that I could be more present as a mother, but what I started to see happen as I was working harder than I ever had, more harder, it needed to be more, it needed to be more, it needed to be more. And yet the bank account, what was coming in and what was going out, wasn't equally more. And I was like, what am I doing wrong? What is happening here? And that is really when I started to dive deeper into the possibility that maybe some of the worthiness was tied into money. And so that was about four years ago and I worked really, really, really hard to do as much possible work on it as I could on my own. And that's when I found inner child healing.
So that would have been about two and a half years ago I found inner child healing and the truth is I healed all of my self-worth wounds. I healed all of my inability, love myself, body positivity. I did so much work on generational trauma and I resisted the money wounds so badly. And I think the reason that I did that was because I couldn't get to the root of it. I didn't understand why I couldn't pinpoint. What the wound was. I knew there was scarcity. I knew there was fear of not enough. I knew it came from my childhood. I knew it came from all of the things and I couldn't nail it because I couldn't nail it.
I couldn't do the work. I was trying everything and I couldn't do the work. And then one day I realized, holy crap, I don't feel safe. Money makes me feel unsafe, unsafe to have, unsafe to spend, unsafe to not have, unsafe to not be able to spend. It just made me, it triggered every fear of safety in my body than I had ever had.
And that for me was like the turning point when I could finally understand that I couldn't trust it. And it made me feel so unsafe.
Emily: Wow. And I love how you were sharing, like you were having a hard time pinpointing it because it really is true when I was doing the inner child work as well. Kind of nailing that one sentence that encapsulates the whole thing. In that the feeling associated with that. Was so helpful and, you know, I've led some friends and clients through this as well. And it's like, well, really play with word choice until we get the one that truly resonates for that person, because it's like, you should have a visceral experience with it. And it's like, holy smokes that's it, It's safety. Oh my God It's safety. I feel so unsafe because then I imagine you did a lot of work on helping your inner child to feel safe.
Kelly: So when I could finally recognize, and like, even now I still get chills all over my body. When I tell that story, because what then made so much more sense was like, I felt unsafe because there was never enough. I felt unsafe because I was judged by my community based on my socioeconomic status. I felt unsafe because money meant unhappiness and conflict in relationships. Money men, I couldn't be loved for who I was because money made people not love each other, money made people not want to be around each other. Money was a weapon.
But until I could get it, like, what was the feeling in my body that responded to the very logical answers that existed in my world? I couldn't get it at a soul level. And that in turn, I couldn't heal that inner child wound. And when I got it though, it was honestly probably the greatest release of my life because it released expectation on every level, it released expectation of marriage. Everly's expectation of love, Everly's expectation of my parents, Everly's expectation of conflict, It released so much. And I was finally able to see that I am not my mom and I am not my dad and I don't love like they loved and money is safe and money can give me a life that I desired for my family. And It really, truly changed everything for me, everything.
I could finally heal the inner child. I could finally connect with her in such a way that it changed how I carried myself. It changed how I trusted myself, It changed how I trusted other people, It changed how I ran my business, It changed my ability to feel safe on so many levels in so many areas in my life, because I hadn't realized how unsafe I felt in the world up until that point.
Emily: So I'm curious. How that realization and subsequent healing impacted your ability to generate and bring in more money and how it impacted your bank account?
Kelly: Well, the first thing that it changed very quickly and in the best way for me was my ability to hold money. So for the first time I didn't spend. Just because there was money there because it felt okay. It felt safe to keep it there. And I also started learning how to budget in a way that felt beautiful for my family. I was still at that time, a single mom. And so budgeting was really a crucial skill for our family so that I could in fact give her the life that she desired.
I didn't impulse spend anymore. Lack of safety. I was able to hold money and in turn budget to give her the experiences that I desired for our life. I wanted her to have a better life, but I was afraid of knowing what to do to get that. So now was the immediate shift from me. And then the other thing that I realized was that the hustle that was happening in my business and my business was generating a lot of money, a lot of money.
Emily: How much?
Kelly: So at the time it was my first full year in business and I'll, we generated $127,000. And that was a residential cleaning business. And at that time, that was unheard of in my neighborhood to have that much success in that little time in that industry. But where was it, Rick? That was my golden question. Where is all this money going? I don't have staff. I have very little overhead. I was literally generating that much money in time in exchange.
Kelly: So I was running myself into the ground. And so at that time I was like, okay, this is not why I became an entrepreneur. I became an entrepreneur for time freedom to be the mom I wanted to be. In my previous life I worked in mental health and I needed a change. I always say my daughter was getting what was left of me, not what was best of me. And that was the reason that I became an entrepreneur in the first place. And here I was working twice as hard.
There still wasn't quote, unquote enough. And so I hired a business partner, split the load 50 50, and I split the work 50 50, and ironically the business doubled, doubled, but the work didn't, we started implementing practice that allowed us to scale. Around our life of desire and it was crazy. So now I had this business that was almost $250,000 a year. And I was working 23 hours a week. And my business partner was working 23 hours a week. And nobody could understand how the hell it was happening. It made no sense. It just made no sense because we were still technically, working physically in exchange for money.
But we had started to understand both of us, both my business partner and me at the time started to really understand the quantum field and unlocking abundance. And so we were able to, Increase our rates, lower workload, streamline the process. We did, we started to put systems in place that allowed us to live our lives and it was pretty cool. It was a pretty cool experience for the first time in my life, to be able to go home at the end of the day and have the energy and have the desire and live the life that I wanted so badly to create for her and had money in the bank. It was like the craziest experience, I'd never felt that way ever in my entire life before.
Emily: Wow. I love that. And it's so true, like the feelings around you and your daughter and the money is like the real prize, right? Money is great. We want money like that is necessary and delightful when we can have a good relationship with it. But I imagine that equally, if not more rewarding, was how you were feeling about yourself as a mother, as a business woman and seeing and reaping the rewards of the inner work.
Kelly: For sure. It was wild and I'm sure we'll dive into this. It was wild and it was also a deeper level of myself understanding, right? So it was like, wow, we have all this money, we have this really cool life this is really great. And there's still some significant work to do because simultaneously at the same time, people were starting to ask me. How are you doing what you're doing? How is this happening? And I mean that, I really want to talk about how I kind of lost all the wealth and rebuilt it. Cause that's important piece here too. And so that's when I entered my coaching business because people wanted to know. How are you doing this? How are you making this much money, working that many hours, having the life that you want. And also you're incredibly happy, like I don't really get this.
I don't really get what's happening, teach me your ways. And so I transitioned into coaching then, and I went really, really deep at that point, really deep into the inner child healing and, and understanding of energetics. And I realized that the exchange and time for money was really a much deeper block in my life of worth that it had to be hard,It had to be physical, It had to be that way. And I wanted no part of that, no part of that. And I was like, wait, this doesn't feel good.
This feels like more of that lack of safety. And when the pandemic kit in March of 2020, my cleaning business here in Canada was shut down, fully completely gone. And I was like, oh, now what, now what? And I had been coaching for a year and I hesitated saying that because I was dabbling. I love being a coach. I love helping women really understand how to build an authentic, sustainable, successful business. I really love that, but I was playing it so safe in what I had created and the pandemic shutting me down and losing all my income.
Well, hello, next level scarcity, fear, money blocks, lack of safety. All of the things that I thought. I had figured out we're like fully in my world. Everything I felt was, was, uh, from scarcity. And what's interesting about that is that now when the pandemic hit , I'm remarried, I have another child, we have a safe, loving home. There was no reason for that stuff to come back up for me.
But when it did, I was like, there's so much more work to do here. And so, you know, when I asked you to share my story, I said, it was like that I got stuck between 5 and 9K a month. And oh, well, I just shared, we made $250,000 a year. Well, it's here now, right? It's this part of the story that really, I think, challenged those money blocks in that money mindset to the next level, because I had to really embody my feminine energy and lean into trust and surrender that I didn't have to do anything to create wealth. All I had built was doing masculine energy. My entire business was built on masculine energy and reward for my work.
Kelly: And so when it was taken from me, I was like, beautiful, thank you universe, coaching is my passion. I truly believed that it was a gift. And I also was scared out of my mind. And I had built the foundation of my coaching business. It was operating, I had clients, I was excited and I was stuck. I would hover between 5 and 9K, 5 and 9K, 5 and 9K. And I was like, why, why can't I do this? What am I doing wrong? I don't understand all of the scarcity and mindset blocks were just so in my face. And it was this part of the story, this part of my story that I think I'm the most proud of, because this is where the embodiment and the actual trust came into play for the very first time, because I had done my way into all of it.
I played it safe through all of it. And it was only in March of 2020, April 2020 may all the way up until truthfully January 2021, that I was scared out of my mind. I was operating out of scarcity. I was operating out of fear. I watched my business. I mean, I watched myself go from wealth to nothing. And then I kept being faced with, well you're allowed to technically reopen, are you gonna do that? The universe kept presenting me with opportunity to play it safe. And I did twice.
I reopened my cleaning business twice. And you know, what's really funny about that is 6% of my clientele came back, that's it. And so even if I hustled the hell out of that and leaned into that, it wasn't there anymore. I didn't exist anymore. And so I really had to follow my heart and trust and learn to freaking surrender, like actually surrender to what's possible when I embody what I teach, when I embody what I know and you know, it took me months and months and months, and months and months to really truly say fine, fine, fine. I will surrender. I will do it for real this time. I will honestly do all the things that I need to do to release the scarcity and the trust. And it was in January of this year that I was just.
It's now or never either. I have to take responsibility for the life that I desire, the love that I desire, the wealth that I desire and truly embody what I know is going to propel me forward and stop being so afraid of what could happen when I could do that. I went from hovering between 5 and 9K and in January I had a 12K month.
And I still, I know it was very exciting and every month I think I still go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, but I have to keep challenging myself to surrender because the feminine is not my depper.
Kelly: So my immediate response, when things, when there are hiccups is to do, I wanna lean into my masculine and play it safe there.
Kelly: But when I am really, really in alignment with who I am and an alignment with this business, and then alignment with my desire. Magical things just continue to happen. I am nowhere near the wealth that I was in my other business, but you know what? I'm happier, I'm good here. And I know that it will come, I know that it will come because this time I don't have to fight for.
Emily: And just like, you know, there were trust issues with money. Often we have trust issues with feminine energy too, because it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's cute. All relax and trust and surrender once the money is here, but let me just go quick, do all the shit to make the money first.
Kelly: It's like all surrender when I'm good, all surrender when you know, there's money in the bank account, all surrender as long as, and you know, I think that when I started to really embody energetics as a way of life and not just as a business tactic to make me money, that is when everything shifted for me. And now I love money. And I know that it will always be there to support me and keep us safe and give me the life that I so desperately desire. But what's interesting about the embodiment of it as a way of life. Is everything around me as abundant now.
My marriage is stronger than it's ever been. My relationships with my kids are the strongest it's ever been. We manifested our dream home, which if you had asked me a year ago would have never, ever, ever been possible for us. We're debt-free. I haven't had a steady income I could count on in 16 months. Right? And here we are living abundantly as a lifestyle. And all it took was for me to really, truly lean in and surrender.
Emily: Totally, I relate to so much of that and it's like, I still have to remind myself sometimes because we do weaponize money and we do use it often as like the only measuring stick. And it is tied up with so many feelings of safety or not safe or even though there's this much money. It's still not enough. So let me just keep going. And you know, all of this old patterning, and then it's like, I look around and it's like, well, actually I'm just fine. I'm more than fine, I'm amazing, I'm doing so great, I'm in my dream home. I like you have an amazing relationship with my spouse. amazing kids. We have an incredible friend group. We go on vacations every month. I've got views of the Pacific ocean on one side of my house. I've got a pool in my backyard. Life is freaking great, so great.
Kelly: And then I think like, it was not that long ago that $5,000 a month would have changed everything for me and my daughter. And I think sometimes I have to put that in perspective for myself and honestly, $5,000 a month allows my family to have a pretty good life because my husband also works in so combined.
We're good and but we get caught up. We put so much power in money that we forget to look around at. What is it all for? One of the concepts that I teach in, in my coaching is like, what is it all for?
Kelly: If we don't know what we're measuring as success, we'll never actually have it. Success Isn't dollars, success is desire. So what does that mean for you? Six very short years ago, for me, it meant a stable roof over my head, the ability to buy my kid new shoes four times a year. Cause that's how much she grew. That wasn't that long ago. And now my measuring stick of success is literally the life that I have.
I work from home full-time. If my babies are sick, I'm home. If it's summer vacation, which it is, we're home, we have each other, the love in this house is like nothing I'd ever experienced in mine. That's success, that is life. And if it's all about money, then we touched on this in the interview in mine is like, you know, there are women in, in our world who are making multiple six figure months and are still questioning whether or not they're worthy or still questioning whether or not they're successful. And so when I get stuck in that pattern of dollar signs, I always anchor back into like this overwhelming sense of. This is everything I could have ever dreamed of in my life. And it is not only enough. It is so much more than, than I ever thought I was possible for me. And that is the frequency abundance.
Kelly: From that place of like moving me to tears, just living my own damn life is more money. It's such an interesting thing that when we really get outside of the dollar signs and anchor into like, holy moly, what have we created? This is magical. That's where the magic actually happens.
Emily: Totally. Someday, I'm hoping that I have the vocabulary to explain this the way that I want to, because it is this funny illusion with money where. It is all about the money for a while. And that's what gets us to do the inner work, which is amazing, which then helps us realize that it's actually not about the money, but then the money will reveal more to us over time.
Right? We think that we've cleared the stuff and then we hit a new milestone and we feel unsafe or unworthy or whatever. And so it's like the thing I love about money. It's actually, it's not even really the money. It's the way that money reveals to us our own opportunities to do the inner work. And then we do the inner work and we do make more money, but everything else in life gets so much better.
And so it's like, that's the real prize, but also if there was no money, we would never get to unlock those treasures.
Kelly: Absolutely. We would forever be afraid of the world. We've forever be in lack and scarcity.
Emily: And in survival mode. I mean, we need money.
Kelly: You can't live on a hope and a dream. Right? We don't get to just like, you know, magically just live on love.
And so there is a lot of fear and there is a lot of scarcity and there is a need for money. And we talked about lack of safety in my world that also meant in every other area of my life, I was afraid to be seen by my partner. I was afraid to be seen by my kids. I was afraid to fuck my kids up, like so afraid that I was going to screw them up. And so afraid that I couldn't trust my partner and the amount of fear that I carried in my body that I had not ever known was crazy. And so the inner work is the true abundance. It is, and you know, when we can really sit back and say, there was a point where $5,000 would have changed everything or $10,000 a month would have changed everything.
When we've realized how far we've come and the life that we get to have because of the work that we've done and the lives we get to change because of the work that we've done, the ripple effect, it's just, it stops being about money you nailed it. It stops being about money and it starts being about gratitude, which again, I already said, is the frequency of abundance and it becomes this like crazy, incredible cycle of life. How is this my life? How does this get to be my life? And then the more you're like, how is this my life? The more it's your life. And it's just, it's crazy, but it's not the money when we make it about the next milestone. At least in my experience, that's where all the scarcity and the old programming will surface.
When I look around and I'm moved to tears, as my babies are playing in this incredible backyard that we are so fortunate to have in this community. I never thought possible. It's like that to me. I would've done anything for that. As a child, I would have dreamed I would've done anything to give my kid this life.
And here we are, and it's like, the more I like, which sorry to my children. I probably cry while they play a lot, because it's just, I get reminded on the regular, because I know for me, that's the ticket to my success is the reminders of the life that I have. And when we are able to separate the two and say, what is it all for?
What is it that you want in your life?
Real life because a lot of us are building businesses in the digital space and we can sometimes lose sight of like, we turned the camera off and then we still have to change diapers, or we still have to breastfeed, or we still have to grocery shop or we still have to cook. And we lose that momentum of like this magic that we get to do in the world because we turn our back and we're in our real life experience. But when we can give ourselves space, to take the magic on and off the screen and remind ourselves of this beautiful experience that we've walked to get to where we are. I know that it has changed everything for me, everything.
Emily: I completely agree. I can still relate. And you know, having young kids like, gosh, there are so many of those moments. My daughter did a 15 minute long guided meditation with me this morning. And I was just like in such gratitude about that. For so many reasons.
Right? But it's like, I'm thankful that I have done the inner work. I'm thankful that I was introduced to a path of meditation. I'm thankful that I've had self-discipline with that over time. And so it is just an integrated part of my schedule. I'm thankful that when I have a day where my calendar is more full, like today, I know that that means turn up the self care. And so it's definitely a non-negotiable this morning.
I love that I'm able to model it for my children. And most days they're like, mom, that's boring. I'm not doing that with you. And that's totally fine. And then there's mornings like this morning where my daughter sits with me the whole time and I'm like, oh my gosh, I have a six year old, like she's such a big girl. Look at her. she's sitting. So still she's meditating. I can feel our energy just, you know, beautifully dancing with each other and it's like, it's so great. And those moments have nothing to do with money. At the same time they do have to do with money. We said, because like when we can do that work and we can get out of survival mode, then we truly can be in the present moment and in such gratitude for all these incredible experiences.
Kelly: And, you know, just to touch on that. Mindfulness moment with your daughter this morning, we are through the hard work. We are also changing the trajectory of our little girls lives and their belief about money and their belief about self care and their belief about what it means to be a wealthy woman, a healthy woman, you know, a self-love warrior insert important piece of ourselves there. We get to teach them a different way. And I think as mothers. That is like really the moment that brings you to tears, because we know what it took to get us to this place. And to know that they maybe don't have to do it that way to get to their places is incredible and model really good, healthy habits in life and business for the next generation of powerful women,It's incredible.
Emily: I'm curious on that topic. How do you talk about money with your kids?
Kelly: So if there's a couple of things along my journey that are not allowed to be set in my house and I can't afford that is one. And another thing is, you know, I want the kids will always say," I want that, or I need that". And I think what I've really done, and my husband's done a lot of work with me on this is we work a lot on gratitude around money. And they live a really fortunate life. And so being kids, sometimes they don't even know that other kids don't get that luxury. And so my 10 year old literally has everything she could possibly want in this life. And she just had a birthday and I was like, "honey, what do you want for your birthday"? I don't really know. And so we do a lot of work around like let's anchor into that feeling of gratitude, that you have so many beautiful things that bring you joy, that you don't even know if you have space for more.
Right? And so we do a lot of work around a want from a need. And if it's a want, where does that want come from? Does it come from desire? Does it come from conditioning? Does it come from your friends have it? And we do a lot of self exploration around that feeling of lack, because want is a feeling of lack sometimes and need. And then I also teach my kids about poverty. I teach them about giving back. And I had to do a lot of work with my own mother around this concept with my kids, because she's come a long way in her life. And so she is a relatively wealthy woman herself now. And her way of air quote, fixing her mistakes is through her grandchildren.
Kelly: Which is a beautiful experience to watch my mother who struggle to raise babies, to be able to give her grandkids anything that she wants to give them at the drop of a hat. But as a mother, who's trying to have conscious children. We've do a lot of work around, do we need this? Or do we want this? And if we want this, like tell me how that feels in your body. Right? Really understanding the difference between my body is like, hell yes or is this triggered by conditioning and all my friends have this and I want them to differentiate the difference between comparison amongst other kids or amongst other people, and really understanding their own desire. And my mom is like, mom, you have to allow them to understand what it means to not have so that they can be in gratitude for what they do have.
So I think that's the most important piece when it comes to money with my kids is not, I don't want to create scarcity. We don't say we can't afford it. If it's like, that's not important to us this month. That's not important to us right now. Let's put that in, we have a little jar it's called a bucket list jar and so they put.You know, my daughter will put things she wants to do in the bucket list. And so I'll say if you wanna go to that place to summer, put it in the bucket list and we'll talk about it later, because it's important that she understands the value of money and also the excitement around desire. Does that make sense?
Emily: Totally. Oh, I love that. And I, I feel like honestly, we could have a whole
mother hour long conversation just on that topic. So maybe we'll have to do a part two, but I know that everyone listening is gonna want to follow along with you and stay connected. So where are your favorite places to hang out? What's the best place for people to connect with you?
Kelly: Well, the gram is my jam. So I'm on there the most frequently. And you can head over to Kelly Rolfe coaching and give me a follow. I'd love to get to know you. So if you heard me on this episode and you followed me because of that, send me a DM, let's have a chat. And if you're like, tell me more about. How all the things? I have a private Facebook community called fierce femme preneurs women doing business differently. And I do a lot of really fun, free information trainings, whatever you want to call it around, how to balance your energies, how to be in harmonic balance in your business, in your life. It's a really beautiful community. I'm so proud of it. So those are the two places I spend the majority of my time.
Emily: Perfect. And then you also have the love yourself fiercely podcast. So we'll make sure to link that in the show notes as well.
Emily: Thank you so much for being here. Is there any last words that you want to share?
Kelly: Well, thank you so much for having me. If I had one piece of advice for anyone who's listening, that's like. You know, really just in their own head about money. Is define your own success. Define what that means to you. What kind of life do you desire? Take the money out of it and dream up what could be possible? What would life look like? How would you spend your days? What would be luxurious for you? What's luxury for me is different for you? So separate yourself from all of the people that you so admire and they're huge milestones and go inwards and take a moment to define what success means to you. I, I know that'll really help you shift perspective away from lack and shift you back into desire and prosperity and abundance.
Emily: Beautiful. I love it. And that's a perfect parting message. Kelly, thank you so much for your time today.
Kelly: Thank you so much.
Emily: Thank you so much for listening to today's show. Changing the way we think feel and talk about money will change the world. I truly believe that it starts with you tuning in and it spreads when you share this show on Instagram and Facebook and tag me at Em Makes Money. And you know, what moves the needle the most taking just a minute to leave a five star review on iTunes.This show isn't free to produce. So let's multiply those dollars invested to help this show reach a bigger audience each week. So thank you for your help. I really appreciate it until next time. I'm wishing you health, happiness, and boatloads of money. .